At Least I Tried!

Remember how I said Clara likes to keep the nipple in and crawl around with it (and yes, I let her empty the cupboard onto the kitchen floor... that's how they learn!)

Just now I was trying to be a dedicated employee and work and the website I need timed out. It won't let me sign back on. That's awesome, I get the motivation to work and I have a road block. As Jason always says, "Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?" But hey, at least I did try. About as hard as I tried to get Clara to smile in this picture... hmmm, today I apparently had a few failures!I forgot to mention I got my Christmas tree put up (after 3+ hours!) I'm pretty happy with how it looks. It's probably not the exact shape I'd pick out, but for $5 at a garage sale I don't think it could be better. I still need to floof some of the branches, but until I have more spare time, I think it looks great. Now I know why my mom always made us help put up the tree. It's a pain to make the branches look good with no help... or "reverse" help aka CLARA. :)Clara isn't as fascinated with the lights or the tree as I thought she'd be, just the ornaments, especially the glittery snowflakes. Little does she know I can always tell when she sucks on one because her tiny little mouth has a tiny little glitter border. Look at the innocent reassurance in her eyes, "I won't touch it mom, don't worry."

Some of my favorite ornaments...

In my Christmas box I found a bag of smashed bows. Clara loves them. She will put as many as she can in one hand and tote them everywhere she goes. And I occassionally stick them to her head so they go everywhere she goes without her having to do any work. My favorite Christmas gift from last year!

Today was busy busy. The lender called saying there were a few more things I needed for the loan to finalize, one being signatures. So I dropped everything and drove to ASU and got Jason to sign some papers just before his final, fed Clara at my mom's, went to Ryan and Kathryn's and then went to KS. This afternoon I made fry bread for the Pack Meeting (that I didn't go to). It wasn't until I was in the car on my way to Lily's orchestra concert that I realized I wreaked of frying oil. Of course that's all I smelled the rest of the night! I love Elementary School concerts. During this one, I couldn't help but consider how incredibly patient, understanding and easy going an Elementary School music teacher must be. I could never! After the concert, we enjoyed "Supper with Santa". Nothing beats cold pizza and warm soda. Too bad Santa didn't grace us with his presence until long after everyone was through eating. As we were walking to our cars, James was "flying" Clara all around and she LOVED it. She had this huge grin on her face the whole time. Even when I put her in her seat she was giggling and smiling. I really enjoy watching my little brothers play with her and knowing she is loved by oh so many people. I'm sure she gets sick of Jason and me so it's good to mix things up!Then, I went to a baby shower. I get so excited when I go to showers for first time moms. I just think there is nothing more joyous than a sweet little baby and experiencing that for the first time is such a happy time. Oh the memories. After that I came home and my good friends came to visis. Okay, so maybe it was just ONE friend (Beka) but she is a very good friend, so I think that counts as two. She always knows when I need a boost (the friend and sugar kind); I must start to get really negative on my blog or during phone conversations. It was fun to visit and eat the cookies she brought and I enjoyed chatting far more than I would have enjoyed working!

Coupons & Random Thoughts

As is typically the case when I'm blogging, I should be working. Tonight is no exception. But what's worse, going four days without posting or procrastinating a little work? I think we all know the answer to that! Plus, I have all week long to work! Actually, I had an urgent request, or demand, rather, from a client this afternoon so it threw my entire afternoon off. When things like that happen, I develop an instant bitterness towards work and have a much harder time getting motivated to work. I've actually been productive this week so I guess I feel like I deserve a littel break. I do find it ironic that while I'm cleaning something up, I let Clara make another mess elsewhere so I can finish what I'm doing. Like today, I was doing the dishes and let Clara play in "her" cupboard. It has all her dishes and bottles in it. She loves to get the bottle nipples and bite on them and let them hang out of her mouth while she makes sure to remove every other dish from the cupboard.

Tonight Jason stayed late at school to study for his finals tomorrow. I get so restless home alone so Clara and I went to Wal Mart and then Costco. Grrrr, I totally forgot to use my coupons at Wal Mart for Clara's baby food. That just irks me for days when I do that. I try to tell myself it's only $3, but it still bothers me. And no, it's not because we're poor, it's the regret of not saving every possible penny. Even when we weren't poor, things like this would bother me.

On Sunday, we had Angela take a few pictures of us for my mom's Christmas card. We tried to change the setting because it was getting dark and it made the shutter stay open WAAAAY too long. Angela told me we looked like ghosts and because of Jason's big eyes, he really does. HA! Clara loves lights, don't you just love that little tiny finger?

Before this last General Conference, I was praying to hear a talk that would bring peace into my life regarding our special little home in Salem. I didn't hear one that seemed to pertain very specifically to what I was needing. However, as I was reading the talks from the Ensign, I realized there was a talk that couldn't have been more relevant in my life than this one. One part I especially enjoyed was, "In these latter days, the Lord revealed that 'when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated' (D&C 130:21). The Lord makes generous promises, and He certifies that He will not vary from these promises, for, said He, 'I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise' (D&C 82:10)." The Lord CERTIFIES that He won't vary from his promises and I love the definitiveness in the statement. It's not a maybe, it's a solid promise. Lately that thought is the only thing keeping me from drowning myself in negative "What if?" thoughts. I also love that he concludes discussing the Biblical line, "And God remembered Rachel" and then he says, "And just as God remembered Rachel, God will remember you." Now if only I could always remember this and have more faith...

Saturday is a Special Day

I find it interesting that eventhough I'm not working a "normal" job anymore, I still look forward to and enjoy Saturdays. Jason is normally gone working so it's not even that I get help from him. Perhaps it's just the fact that no one will bother me from work or maybe it's because I know the next day is Sunday and a new week will begin, giving me the chance to do all those things I didn't get done the past week. Yesterday I went to lunch with Angela and some of her friends. I experienced one of her new favorite restaurants and would agree that it has great food. I can't remember the name of my sandwich, but it had proscuitto, tomato, fresh mozarella and fresh basil. The fresh basil was quite delicious.

Then, I came home and worked and started dinner. I have mentioned before, but my emotions are begging me to mention it again: I hate Bank of America. That's who KS banks with and let me just say, I am disturbed at their lack of service. I received a letter in the mail with a new online banking passcode. On my first attempt to log on, it said I had tried too many times to log on so I needed to call to reset my password. After being on hold for 30 minutes, I gave up for the day. But what I found even more unprofessional was the line in the letter that said, "Your passcode will expire if not used within 30 days of the date on the top of this letter." What is wrong with that? Only that there was NO date ANYWHERE on the letter. That could be the most TACKY thing I've ever seen from a professional organization. That, to me, is worse than a mispelled word.

Anyway, Jason had a huge project for school and he was helping some of his friends from school on it. He was going to meet them and I told him if he's helping them, they can come here. So all day and most of the night, the four of them sat in front of their computers working away at the table. Sometimes I miss being in school. Yesterday, I didn't miss it one bit! I got to make dinner for them. That was fun. I love entertaining, but haven't had the chance lately. Also, Karen came to hang out with me and I'm always amazed at how it seems we've been friends forever. We've known each other for about two and a half years but we don't get to hang out that often. I guess it makes a difference when you travel with people and eat three meals a day with them and then work side by side all day. And in Karen's case, we'd work together in our hotel rooms at night too. After dinner tonight, we went to the mall. Since it rained yesterday, our money tree grew, so that was perfect timing because Clara really needs more pants. I found a few pair of pants and a few long sleeved shirts so that was good. Now I just need some warm pajamas. Any suggestions? I need to try Ross because I am just too cheap to pay $10 for one pair of pj's when I wash them after every wear. Or maybe I just need to buy expensive ones and not let her eat her breakfast in them so she can wear them more than once. And then I won't need six or seven pairs. And just because I think she's the cutest little goose ever...

Wishing

Other than wishing our spec home would sell and trying to control my fuming anger, here's what I've been up to lately...

I'm a little behind with work, so I taught Clara how to use my 10-key. Really, this was on the box and she pulled it onto her lap and started smacking the keys. I don't use this often and when I do, it's never on my lap. So what does this mean? Um, she's a genius. Speaking of work, I got a new client and I think it's going to be great. It's just the transition that's been a bit of a problem. Today was their first payroll and I still hadn't talked to the prior accountant yesterday. How are some people okay with not returning phone calls? I don't get it. Anyway, I think I figured it out and now I just have to figure the rest of the Organization out alone!

Also this week Clara has been doing strange things. First, she took two wonderful two hour naps on Monday. Since then, she's been taking 30-40 minute naps and just SCREAMS. Plus, she's waking up super early. I'm about to go crazy. I'm hoping it's a phase, along with her sudden hatred of vegetables. Clara used to eat just about anything I fed her. Wednesday I believe it was, she was spitting it out and I just kept giving her more. She ended up eating some of it, but not without a fight and making some awfully hysterical faces and noises. Just see for yourself...Wednesday night she was still being a stinker so I decided to go on a walk. But don't worry, I bundled her all up since I'm sure it was like 70 degrees outside.

Today was renewing for me. For part of my birthday present, my mom offered to help me 'organize' my house. I'm a perfectionist and part of that means I don't want to do something unless I can do it perfectly. It either needs to be done perfectly or I can't bring myself to do it at all. Obviously, I don't have hours on end to get my house the way I want it, so my mom came to my rescue. We rearranged our front room and cleaned the guest room which she insists I now call my office. I called it the front room and she says, "What did you say?!" Ha ha. Anyway, she's coming back to help with my room and the garage. It's hard because we have SO little storage in our house and what little we do have is being used. Plus, Jason likes to keep everything but doesn't like to help organize it, so we have a bunch of half-full boxes all over the place. My wise mother said to tell him he can keep everything and anything he wants... and we'll just stick it in the attic.

We took a little break to go to "Grandparent's Day" at Lily's and James' school. Kathryn and her girls came too. Since Lily doesn't have any living grandparents, we decided Kathryn or I could be the mom and my mom could be the Grandma. It's been YEARS since I ate cafeteria food. I was a little nervous, but the hamburger really had no flavor so no flavor is better than none!

Tonight I went to Nylene's to make these marshmallow roasters that we're going to have the Scouts make. It was really fun and I think they are going to turn out AWESOME. We'll see what they look though after they cook and are painted. Until then, I need to get back to thinking about working...

Be Thankful

Last night I was giving Clara a bath and she let out some gas. This was nothing unusual. The thought crossed my mind, "What if?" I quickly disregarded it. She hadn't done that since she was like six weeks old. Oh the look that must have swept across my face when I noticed a foreign object appear just moments later. Be thankful I know where to draw the line on what I take pictures of and I'll be thankful for Clorox. :)

Lazy Days

I can't remember the last time I stayed home from church because I was sick, let alone went without showering for a few days and managed to stay in the same pj's for two days straight. Until yesterday, that is. Every night for the last four or so I went to bed thinking, tomorrow it will be better. Unfortunately, my simple hopes were never a reality. Sunday Jason and I slept when Clara slept (well, I did once and Jason did both her naps plus some) and just laid on the floor when she was playing. I also read pretty much all day. Rachel brought me Twilight to finish. I had started when I was in Utah three months ago and hadn't made the effort to get a copy to finish. When I left the story in Utah at chapter five, I was intrigued and was interested a little bit. Once I got a few more chapters in, I couldn't put the book down. Now that I have finished the book, I haven't stopped waiting to read the next. I'm about to go crazy not knowing what happens and decided I quite enjoy fantasy, maybe even childish, love stories. I've also decided I want Jason to be a vampire and haven't stopped begging him to be such. I told him he should read the book so he can know how I want him to act. Maybe I can just relate to the way Bella feels about Edward. Oh, new young love, so sweet.

The good news is I think the worst of my illness has passed because I feel better today. I have lots of work to do again, but our weekly meeting got canceled yesterday, so that was a relief. I had decided I'd go eventhough I didn't feel like it and definetely didn't want to.

Other than being sick, I LOVE this time of year. I love the cold weather, I love hot chocolate and I love the holidays. Everything is just more cheerful: the stores, the music, the people. A few weeks ago I told Jason I was so excited for Christmas and his mature response was, "Why? We don't have any money." Obviously growing up he missed the point of Christmas. The best things about Christmas will be here regardless of our situation. The trees, the lights, the music, the get togethers, the movies, the decorations, the traditions and most important, a celebration of our Savior's birth. I just love the feeling in the air. Yeah for this time of year! Now you see it...

Now you don't! Yum.Clara update for my own personal records: On Thanksgiving Clara would only crawl the real way in the grass at my mom's. Now, sometimes she will, but more often than not, she's back to slithering. Also, her top tooth to the left of her left middle is totally in. I noticed I think on Friday or Saturday that it had barely broke the skin and now it looks almost as big as her giant front teeth. The other side broke through just a few days ago too and is coming in rather quickly. Six teeth, 11 months and cute as can be. I just can't get enough of my baby. Sad, sick and oh so sweet.

For whatever reason, Clara LOVES Jason's hat. When he gets home, he'll take it off and give it to her and she gets so excited. I tried to fix her red eyes in this picture and it made her right eye look psycho, but I'm too lazy to move the picture to my computer and use the program I have. :)

I don't normally put shoes on Clara, but since it's cold, I've decided I better stop. My friend bought these cute little shoes for Clara months before she was born and they finally fit. Clara just couldn't figure out what was on her feet and was devising a plan on how to get them off.

Family Fun

After we got home Thanksgiving night, sick and exhausted neither our fun nor our sickness came to an end. Friday, I went shopping for a few things and got most of my Christmas shopping done (it's amazing how quickly you can accomplish such a feat when you have very limited funds :)). Then, Clara and I just pretty much laid around all day and all night. When Jason got home from work, he laid around with us. We were all coughing, had fevers and felt miserable. Saturday seemed to be a little better, or maybe I was in denial that sickness could last so long. Jason worked in the morning and then met me at my mom's to watch Clara while I got to go to the Temple with my family. Casey Anne loves the little babies, so Clara was off on a wagon ride before I even left.

Since it's quite rare to all be together, I didn't miss a chance to take some pictures. As always, Clint and Ryan were very enthusiastic about my happy snapper finger.
Of the "grown-ups" we're just missing Emily. Hopefully someday we can all be together. Note: it is apparently a Melzer trait, one I didn't inherit, to close your eyes in 95% of pictures. However, I couldn't help but notice that in almost every picture I took out in the bright sun, the typical eye closers had their eyes open perfectly fun.
After that, the married kids went to dinner. My mom and dad stayed with Rachel's kids. I feel bad because it seems like my mom always ends up babysitting. I know she loves her grandkids, but I think she'd also like to go out with us one of these times. It is always fun being with my family. Because really, do any of you have brother-in-laws that would draw something so randomly well as this? Oh, and notice the bread he (Clint) drew and being the nice Uncle he is, offered some to Clara.
I had our server take a picture of all of us. If only Rachel's eyes were opened, but apparently the server was too enthralled with her smile to notice. After he took the picture, he looks at her and said, "Great smile" with a little grin. He was nice, but did a few strange things. Like when Clara started getting fussy, he said, "You're my last table, so I will hold your baby if you want. I love kids." I used the best excuse that I could muster up that she was afraid of strangers and he said, "Well, she can watch Sesame Street on my phone." I thanked him and tried to sort through how to take his offer. That type of thing is borderline super nice person/psycho freak. After dinner, we were going to have a girl's night out. We were going to get dessert and watch Hair Spray in the theater. We ended up going to Golden Spoon with all but one of the kids (Don, Jason and Micah decided to go have a guys outing... so off went the babysitters) and then watched Hairspray at Ryan and Kathryn's. Jason did get back before we started the movie so he took Clara and put her to sleep and Don took Lucas. This is Emma. She's just like a littl ray of sunshine spritzing around.

Oh and little Lucas. He's so little and just so cute. He is just a tiny bit taller than Clara but walks (he's four months older). I love how his itty bitty pants are still too big for him.Of course my night wouldn't be complete without attempting a cousins picture. Emily's kids are missing, so hopefully next time we're all together we can get one with all the kids. Okay, now how I felt about the movie. It was totally cheesey, but it made me laugh. I was a little surprised at the number of sexual innuendos and thought it'd be a little cleaner than what it was. I'm sure I'd watch it again and I'd probably laugh because I'd catch even more of the subtle lines in the songs. I can't imagine Jason even enjoying five minutes of it with me, so it was a good thing I watched it with the girls.

Huh?

Sometimes when I hear the things kids say I think how much I look forward to having my own talking children to make me laugh. And then I have conversations like the following with Jason that make me realize I already have a speaking age household member that says off the wall things...

Anna: What do you want for Christmas?
Jason: Nothing.
Anna: Tell me.
Jason: I know, I will take what you'd spend on me and buy you that camera that's $150.
Anna: Um, sorry, we can spend like $20 on each other.
Jason: What? You can't even buy the big box of tampons with that!

Ode to Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving! I appreciate this holiday, not just for the neverending feasts it seems to bring, but I also enjoy reflecting on the many things I'm grateful for. I made a lengthy list of my blessings (imagine that, me make a long list...) so that if I'm ever feeling down I can read it to remember how blessed I am. At the top of the list are: Jason, Clara, Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father, the Gospel, the Scriptures, the Temple and my family. I love my family and enjoy spending time with them.

I had this great idea when we woke up to go get donuts and a paper from the grocery store and then go watch Rachel finish the 10k Turkey Trot. Well, it didn't all go according to planned, we never saw Rachel after looking for her for about 30 minutes (plus about 20 minutes of walking to and from the finish line) which made Clara late for her nap. Normally, that wouldn't be bad, but she's been so sick. I think she has Croup. Anyway, while she napped Jason and I made 10 pounds of mashed potatoes. Then we were off to my mom's for our feast. Yum. I was excited because last year I had to be cautious about what I ate since I was so fat and pregnant. This year, nothing held me back. As always, there was plenty of good food. Here's just a few of the company. I was trying to stuff my face and Clara's so fast that I didn't think to get a picture while everyone was eating.
Afterwards, we just visited. I was outside with Steve, Daniel and Sarah (Daniel's friend) and decided I wanted to ride on Daniel's motorcycle. The first, last and only other time I attempted that was in Snowflake about 13 years ago. After running into the house, the garbage cans and barely missing the car, I opted to leave that adventure for another time. Now that I'm so much older, I figured I could handle a tiny little motorcycle. Too bad we didn't get my foolishness on video today. I was concentrating so hard on letting the clutch out ever so slowly with my left hand, I didn't realize I was pulling down on the gas with my right. It jerked forward and as I tried to hang on to the bike as tight as I could with my right hand (the GAS) the front wheel shot straight up. Luckily I jumped off, but I was hanging on the right handle with all my might trying to keep the bike from smacking Rachel's car (which, by the way, just got a new bumper) not realizing I was giving it so much gas and that's why it kept getting harder to hold on to. This all happened very fast and I thought I was going to die if I didn't let go, so I did and Daniel helped save me. I hurt my hand and I think I hurt the bike a little bit. Wooops! Everyone laughed and I retired for the day from trying to ride the bike. Steven ran over to give me a hug. I'm not sure if it was because I got hurt or because he was so embarassed for me. Ha. Someday I'll be smart enough...

Okay, Angela is babysitting her business partner's dog Feather. Clara and Feather loved each other and although this picture gives the appearance that Clara is petrified, she's totally happy. I think Angela got some better ones. To all those that don't think we have seasons in Arizona... this is of the changing leaves in my parent's yard. :)
Little Beaver Teeth loving Angela's necklace.
Clara loved all of the pumpkin pie Angela fed her. She'd just open her mouth and wait for more. And would go towards the fork every time it got near her mouth.

My camera battery died so I don't have very many pictures. Plus, I am getting sick and feel terrible so even if I had better pictures (I do have a few) I wouldn't upload them tonight! I am going to bed even though it's super early because I feel so icky. Poor little Clara has been coughing since I laid her down. Poor little baby. I think this is like the fourth time we've been sick in the last couple of months. Clearly that is not normal for us... Can't imagine why I keep getting sick! :)

When Upon Life's Billows

I've heard more than once that if you are feeling down, make a list of all your blessings to realize how much we've been given. Then, read your list every time you are down to be reminded of how blessed you are. I absolutely love Hymn #241, Count Your Blessings. I have always loved it because of the words (oh, and because it's easy to play on the piano so I don't make many mistakes, ha!). For some time, I've had the song memorized and if I'm feeling down, I sing the words until I am able to remember how blessed I am and it works every time.

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tosssed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.


Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,
And you will singing as the days go by.


When you think of other's with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money can not buy
Your reward in Heaven nor your home on high.


So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.



I enjoy how the verses seem to coincide with the progression of my feelings and it addresses all aspects of the feelings I feel when I sometimes forget to recognize my blessings. First, when we are down and out, think of our blessings. If it gets worse and we feel like life is too much, count our blessings. If we find ourselves wishing we had the worldly posessions someone else does, think of our eternal blessings, since that is what matters. And finally, it doesn't matter if it's big or small, "Do not be discouraged; God is over all." That line is so powerful and reassuring to me. If you believe in the truthfulness of that simple message, there is no need to get too upset.

So here is a list of things, in no particular order after the first few, I'm grateful for (you didn't think Thanksgiving would pass without me making a list, did you?) 1. Jason, a husband that loves me 2. Clara, a sweet, beautiful healthy baby 3. Jesus Christ, my Savior 4. Heavenly Father 5. The Holy Ghost 6. The Scriptures 7. The Gospel 8. Temples 9. A living prophet 10. My family 11. Prayer 12. Church buildings 13. Food to eat 14. The Atonement 15. Testimony 16. Education 17. Ability to work from home 18. Good health 19. Health insurance 20. Friends 21. Running water 22. Electricity 23. Eye sight 24. Hearing 25. Music 26. Service (given & received) 27. Thoughtful people 28. Trials (not always when they are happening though, but I'm working on it) 29. Freedom 30. USA 31. House 32. Reliable cars 33. Bed 34. Eternal marriage 35. Internet 36. Books 37. Modern medicine 38. Doctors 39. Candy :) 40. Holidays 41. Extended family 42. Flowers 43. My garden 44. Generous employers 45. Good jobs 46. Clothing 47. Talents 48. Safety 49. Missionaries 50. Priesthood 51. Deoderant 52. Soap 53. Dental hygiene items


Really, after reading the first 11 or so, I realize those things alone should make me grateful for the life I have. Those things should be enough to sustain me in any situation.