Quantity vs. Quality

We've been busy. I know it sounds cliche, but we have. It's a good busy, because that means Jason and I both have a lot of work, which is a change from three months ago. However, the busyness left me feeling that Jason and I never spent time together and our family never spent time together, especially since Jason gets home so much later than he did before.

It seemed the TV was always on during the hour between finishing dinner and Clara's bedtime so we were never spending time as a family (in my book, sitting in front of the TV isn't spending time together). After Clara went to bed, Jason would either go to work, do the dishes, play basketball or watch TV before bed so we were never spending time as a couple. On the weekends, we were always so busy running around to various functions, parties, etc., that we never spent time then either.

After talking to Jason , he agreed to leave the TV off, so after dinner, we get to spend quality time as a family. It's only an hour or so, but it's an hour more we didn't utilize previously. This doesn't happen every night, because there are still meetings and other evening commitments (like the Diamondback's game...), but it's a good general rule. After Clara goes to bed, Jason and I do the dishes, clean or just sit and visit for a little bit.

It has only been a week, but it has definitely made a big difference to me. We got our closet straightened up, the dishes are usually done and I feel like we are spending more quality time together as a couple and a family.

I don't feel like we're too busy. But now that we don't have quantity of time working in our favor, we have to focus in on the quality.

Stuff

When Jason is home with Clara, they go to the park. Since I didn't work the Friday before last, Clara missed her park visit, so I took her last Monday. I'm pretty sure swinging is currently her favorite thing to do, as long as being Miss Independent isn't considered something to do.
While I was there, there was a guy with his son. I thought it was strange I didn't hear him say one word to his kid. Then, I said hi to him and was ignored. I said it again (I don't give up that easily) and he told me he was deaf. Another reminder of why it's important not to judge. We had a brief conversation that left me wishing I'd done something to remember more from my two years of sign language.

The other night I wanted a treat. I'd already eaten a lemon bar, so I decided to have toast with jam. I was doing dishes while my bread was toasting and when I went to get it out after hearing it pop, it was gone. It was late at night, Jason was gone. After a while I realized when my toast popped up, it launched behind the fridge. See? Last week we went to the splash park at San Tan Village for the first time. Clara still LOVES water. It was cold, but she played for quite a while.

I love to experiment. I made some sugar-free cookies using agave. They were pretty cakey, but I still liked them. Agave is an expensive sugar substitute, but it was the least I could do for someone that has sworn off sugar temporarily and is hated by vehicles.

In case you don't eat sugar and your vehicles hate you... or if you want to pretend it's okay to eat a dozen cookies, here's my made up little recipe:

Wannabe Cookies

3/4 cups agave nectar

1/4 cup oil

1/4 cup butter

1 egg

1 3/4 cups flour

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 - 1 1/2 cups chopped macadamia nuts

"Cream" agave and oils... then add egg and beat... then add everything else. It is kind of runny, so they spread out when they cook, but really, they were pretty good. Cook for 8-10 minutes at 350*.

FOF - Oh, Happy Day

Friday is such an easy day to love. Here are five reasons today was a happy one, in addition to it being Friday.

1... We ate at Queen's Pizza in Downtown Mesa. The service was fantastic, and that's hard to find these days unless you're in QT or Chik-fil-a. It's awesome, go eat there. (Don't worry, the food and price were great too).

2... I got home from work just as Clara was waking up from her nap. It makes me feel better when she only has to live without me for six hours of the day. :)

3... I finally have a concrete reason to justify buying a new cell phone. Needing one with e-mail to better serve my clients wasn't convincing enough. But now that it takes fifteen minutes (if I'm lucky) to rig my phone charger just right so my phone actually charges, I don't think it will be long.

4... I haven't promised any of my clients anything by Monday, so no pressure to get a certain amount of work done over the weekend.

5... Clint probably won't sue me for bashing his head with my trunk (hurting this poor brother-in-law of mine is becoming a trend... remember cinco on last week's FOF?).

The Natural Man

I think we are all born with our very own "natural man" qualities. One of mine is my temperament. I'm pretty high strung. I like life to move quickly and smoothly. And perfectly. When things get slow, bumpy or imperfect, it freaks me out. I am very easily stressed and I'm very critical. In general, a very unhealthy combination.

I don't know when it was, but several years ago, I realized this was a problem for a number of reasons. First of all, at the rate I was going, I decided I'd die of a heart attack by the time I was 40. Second, I left little to no time to enjoy life. Third, it's awkward and uncomfortable when you're around someone that is easily upset. I started working on controlling my reactions and trying to minimize my stress. In essence, I tried not to cry over spilled milk.

On the same note, I remember reading this and the following made such an impression on me:

"When I damaged the family car, he (his father) was gentle and forgiving. But his sons could expect strong discipline if there was any shading of the truth or continued breaking of the rules, particularly showing disrespect for our mother."

When I read that six years ago, I remember thinking how profound that advice was. It seemed that my new found desire to moderate my reactions and control my stress would come in handy when I had kids. I realized that I wanted to be calm, gentle and forgiving when it came to insignificant situations whether I created the situation or my child did. Asking myself if it really matters or if it will have eternal consequences usually helps me keep things in the right perspective and in turn, I've been able to reduce my stress and give a more laid-back reaction instead of my innate high-strung reaction.

Fortunately, I recognized my problem before having Clara so more often than not, I'm able to keep my cool when she accidentally spills stuff, ruins something, etc. I've trained myself to think: it's just stuff, it can be cleaned up, etc. I've spilled stuff too, so why should I expect a two year old not to?

And fortunately I did it before I was admiring my big jar of homemade strawberry jam. Because seconds later it slipped from my hands, bounced off the fridge and shattered on the tile, jam schmattering everywhere.
Before, I would've gotten a headache thinking about all the wasted money, time and effort. And how if only I hadn't been gloating thinking what a good homemaker I was, I'd still have that big jar of jam. And then I would have thought about it all day. I still thought about it, but only non-headache-producing thoughts.

Good Eats

In the last two weeks I've tried out some new recipes. All have been vegetarian and all have been good (based on all consumer's opinions with the exception of Jason, but in his opinion, ingredients set his opinion and no meat = gross).

First, I made Spicy Black Bean Burgers. For the "small hot pepper" I used two Serrano peppers. I thought the burgers were really, good, but they were a tad too spicy. Next time I'd probably omit the small hot pepper altogether. Especially since I didn't bother to cut them with saran wrap, leaving my hands smoldering for the next 24 hours. I served them with homemade sweet potato chips (baked, not fried).

Next, I made BBQ Ranch Pasta. All it had was pasta, ranch, BBQ sauce, cucumber and bell peppers. The recipe called for avocados as well, but the two I bought were rotten. I was bummed. I love avocados and I missed them dearly, especially since they were one of only three vegetables in the pasta. Next time I'd modify the amount of ranch and BBQ sauce and make sure I buy non-rotten avocados. We had it with fresh green beans sauteed with garlic and asparagus.

Tonight, I made falafel, served in pitas with lettuce, tomato and cucumber yogurt sauce. This was delicious. Let me give you some advice about the agave: don't go to Wal Mart looking for it. In fact, don't go to Wal Mart looking for anything. If you don't know where it is, chances are the workers don't either. First I asked a man from India that spoke almost NO English. He asked his manager who had the following conversation with me:

Long, bushy-haired manager with thick short beard: If we have it, it's in the pharmacy.
Me: What? The pharmacy? (I was totally confused)
Manger: Well, it's probably by the a-ki
Me: Oh, I don't even know what that is
Manager: Neither do I, but it's the only thing I know of with a name that sounds like that.
Me: ... Uh ... thanks.

I guess I should be grateful that they were kind. Not helpful, but kind.

I then went to AJ's and the cashier ladies seemed to think I was searching for Guava and were way too interested in getting back to their conversation than they were with helping me. I found someone on the floor who knew exactly what it was and where it was. Right by the honey. I was surprised at how inexpensive it was ($3.99) and at how good it is. It's all organic and pure nectar from an agave plant. Step aside bees, step aside.

And then...

A little over a week ago, life got a little crazy. It seemed there was one thing right after another. On Saturday, we went to a brunch at church where Clara got to make an edible necklace. She thought that was awesome. I can't blame her. Having a snack around my neck to munch on wouldn't be so bad.And then... Just before we went to bed. My fried brain remembered we hadn't dyed eggs. So we did that really fast.

And then... The Easter Bunny came on Sunday. He even brought me a basket for the first time since I've been married. And he must love me, biggest Easter basket I've ever seen.

Looks like you ate too much candy and your teeth have rotted out, little deary.

Clara was totally stoked every time she found an egg. She had a hay day.

With each holiday I run into the dilemma of where to draw the line so the real meaning isn't lost or forgotten amidst the other stuff. I came to a conclusion this year. In my opinion, it's okay to have fun and celebrate holidays as long as my kids know why we have the holiday. My Levi cousins are amazing examples at doing this, check out Jana's blog. They have good ideas of how to keep the meaning of the holiday front and center during the celebrations. This year, I made sure Clara knew we have Easter because of Jesus and not because of the Easter Bunny.

And then... We went to church. I've been singing in the choir and I was a little bitter that we had to have practice on Easter Sunday. But it went quickly so I got over it. Plus despite having only FIVE women that sang in church, I think we did pretty good. Clara got about a 30 minute nap and sometimes I think no nap is better than waking her up after only 30 minutes. She was ornery. But she looked cute.

And then... We spend time with family at my mom's. The kids had another Easter egg hunt and the adults enjoyed every single second of the perfectly gorgeous weather on my dad's perfectly manicured lawn. I think my parent's front lawn is my favorite place to be when the weather is nice. I'm so glad we got a few more weekends of outside weather before the heat comes. Thank you, weather.

And then... Between working at my client, last minute tax preparation and filings, Monday and Tuesday were a blur.

And then... Clara got her first bubble bath, thank you Easter bunny. If you were Clara's mom, she probably would have got bubble bath long before now.

And then... Jason got hives all over his body. You might be glad he doesn't want me to post the pictures. It looked pretty gross.

And then... The 15th came and although I had to file some extensions, it seemed like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and flew away. Yeah, it will fly back in a year. But for now, it's gone.

And then... Emily, Alexis and Justin came. We went to Sonic and then Lily's softball game. I'm sure we looked silly huddling under the blanket in jackets, wondering how long it'd be before our noses froze off. But it was cold, I promise.

And then... We went and played at the River on Thursday. Bubbles (my new favorite thing to take pictures of), tunnels, mud, water and dead snakes.

Clara was a filthy mess and an emotional wreck. Both, however, bothered me little. She was filthy because she was having fun and she was emotional because she got to have a sleepover at Grandma's so I could go into work early and just stay a half day.

On our little walk, she was so mad and wanted no one to touch her but Justin. Luckily, he's pretty strong and carried her back to where we started.

Clara wanted to hike up the mountain so bad. She kept saying "climb mountain". I couldn't climb it with her so I told her she could do it. She would start climbing then say, "helping mom" ... meaning, help me mom.

The mud kept all the kids entertained, 2 years to 13.

And then... We went to James' baseball game and Steven's softball game. James did a really good job at fielding and Steven found his swing in his second game, ending with three triples.

And then... We went to a late breakfast on Friday. Well, those of us who found a way to skip out of work, anyway.

And then... I rolled up Clint's hand in the window. I feel bad. Sorry Clint. He was in my car, the windows were down and I got on the freeway. Every time I get on the freeway, I instantly roll both front windows up. He yelled, "Oh! Oh!" and in the split-second it took my brain to realize what had happened, I thought he was exclaiming because he wanted the window rolled down. Before I realized anything else, he yelled "Hand!" and I released his poor hand from my window's death grip.

And then... The little girls had so much fun playing in Aunt Angela's bed. She didn't even care when they got on her white bed spread with their shoes on. How nice.

And then... The adults got to go to dinner. We had quite the adventure trying to find a nice place to go. We had 12 people and didn't want to wait 2 hours, but most of the nicer places won't take reservations. We ended up going to Papaya Thai, a little Thai restaurant in a strip mall. It was a little sketchy looking, but it ended up being really good.

Clara and I had a little plasma car race before we left.

Nothing beats this.

I love my family. I didn't take a picture of all of us with James and Lily because well, I'm kind of a perfectionist. If all nine of us aren't present, my motivation to take a picture decreases drastically. I know it's a bad attitude, but at least I recognize my weakness. We sure missed Rachel, but I've declared that we will all be together next summer. Got that family? No one has any excuses to miss our 2010 reunion. It's been too long. Despite missing the wee ones and Rachel, I love this picture... I love my siblings and I'm glad we got to spend some time together. I'm also glad Daniel smiled in this picture. He never smiles in pictures, but lookey here, smiling away. And we have teeth sitings on all three boys. Good picture signifying a great evening.

FOF - Splendid

The last 7-10 days have been a little insane. The work-related insanity has dwindled to almost nothing, leaving me feeling free as a bird to partake in family-oriented busyness. Despite the craziness, I'm nearing the end of a pretty good week. Here are five reasons my week was splendid:

Uno: The 15th has come and gone. Okay, the fact that it came was not splendid, but the fact that it's gone sure is.

Dose: Emily (the oldest sibling) and her two kids are here visiting from Cali. Just days after I was complaining to a friend that they only come to visit for weddings, I found out she was coming for Spring Break.

Tres: I got to bed at 2:30am on the 14th. I thought I'd be up all night. 2:30am isn't much past my regular bed time, so I was pretty happy about that.

Quatro: I only worked a half day on Thursday. I wasn't supposed to work at all because Emily was here, but my client begged and I can't say no, so we compromised on half a day. Half days are WAY easier to manage than full days.

Cinco: Clint probably won't sue me for rolling his hand up in my car window. Wewsh.

Soon to come: the love of bubbles, hiking (look closely, some of the kids are in the picture) and much more!

Love Letters

Dear World,

I have so much to do tonight. The thought of it overwhelms me. It makes me want to curl into a ball and go to sleep for 12 hours. Either that or cry. Since I'll probably get more done if I opt for the latter, less desirable choice, there's a chance I'll cry at some point tonight. Wouldn't the thought of little or no sleep make you cry? Especially if that sleep deprivation was coupled with trying to do something you felt was slightly over your head? My unfortunate situation is a result of three main factors: I kind of procrastinated, I have had way too much work the last month (which is part of the reason all this stuff got put off) and I can't say no.

Perhaps you are wondering why it is then that I have time to blog at such a dire time? Well, it appears as though You, world, have also procrastinated. Clearly everyone of You are trying to do the same thing I am, resulting in my online tax software also feeling overwhelmed. Attempting to e-file ONE return has taken me nearly 30 minutes and it should take about 2, 3 on a slow day.

Now the question is do I hate you for making my seemingly endless night longer or do I love you for giving me an excuse to take a quick break?

I think I love you.

Yours truly,
The Mad White Woman

PS I'm hopeful things will get a little better in a few hours as soon as our East Coast friends decide to go to bed.

PPS I think it's time for a vacation... where should I go?

Easter Pageant Plan

I haven't gone to the Easter Pageant for a few years because I don't always feel inspired when I'm cold, tired and irritated because I can't see what's going. Especially when I've done it before. However, I realized that it would be good to take Clara. She is fascinated by Jesus and for FHE we did a little Easter lesson and then went to the Pageant Tuesday night.

My plan: get there early to save close seats, sit on the grass so Clara can run around and then hope Clara would be okay to watch most of the Pageant without having to run around.

My plan worked better than I imagined. We got great seats, ate dinner on the grass and just enjoyed the beautiful weather. Clara loved waving to the Pageant people walking around and loved obeying me in her usual manner. {Clara, don't go under the rope or you have to sit on the blanket with me... she stared and concentrated trying to figure out how she could get past the rope without disobeying... and ended up walking all the way around the rope to run down the hill into the chairs.}

We did have a few added bonuses: finding Aunt Angela (who miraculously became a camel - good thing she was wearing brown), petting a baby sheep (although Clara was adamant it was a baby goat), Clara finding a new friend (aka lady in Angela's Ward) that gave her a bunch of M&M's and petting the horse from the Triumphal Entry scene on our way to the car. I never would've thought Clara would be that good for the entire thing, but she was. It was great.
A few guiding lines should Clara discuss her pageant experience with you:
"mean people Jesus" - The mean people hurt Jesus.
"horsey eat grass" - The horsey was eating grass.
"knock Jesus" - The mean people hammered nails into Jesus (she heard the pounding and apparently it sounded like knocking).
"Jesus gone" - Jesus was gone from the tomb.

I experienced the Pageant in a whole new way this year. I usually enjoy it, but I rarely allow myself to be moved by the Spirit like I did last year. Over the last several months, I've been trying to become more familiar with our Savior so that I could draw closer. His life, His teachings and His example. As I've done this, I've noticed discussions, scriptures, quotes, talks, etc. that speak of Christ find their way to a very tender place in my heart.

Some pictures need no words.