One Day

I don't usually get overwhelmed with being a mother. I could give you all sorts of speculation as to why that is, but I'll just say that is not something I struggle with often.

Then there are days like today.

I raised my voice. A lot. And it was mostly at Hazel.

Poor Hazel.

It didn't help that she developed selective hearing and didn't seem to hear anything I said unless her face was two inches from mine and I would only talk if she was looking me in the eyes. Nor was it helpful that I woke up at 1am and didn't fall back asleep until 5am last night, so I wasn't on my best behavior either. But after the kids were in bed, I sat down and wrote down everything Hazel did to see if it was just me...

It all started with black beans and sugar. This morning she grabbed handfuls of dry black beans and threw them on the kitchen floor while I was trying to wrap up some work. She got the broom and said, "Me sweep it up." I watched her pick up each bean with her hand, put it on the dustpan and put it in the garbage for a few minutes, then went to get myself ready. Moments later, she came into my bathroom with her face and hands COVERED in sugar. I washed her off (to which she said, Thank you Momma), took her to the kitchen to find a pile of sugar she dumped out (onto the beans, no less) and apparently had a snack.

Also while I was working, she took a metal tape measure and slid it back and forth on my bar of hard lotion, creating nice, deep grooves and getting hard lotion all over the tape measure.

She picked the pecans out of her granola then asked for them back then wouldn't eat them.

She decided to clean my toilet for me, getting toilet paper in the brush and dripping nasty water all over my bathroom (why do people use my toilet brushes to unclog a toilet??). Then she stepped in it.

Fortunately, running errands was mischief free since she was strapped in the carseat. Oh, nevermind. In the post office, she started taking cards out of the holder just as I was finishing up with the grumpy/rude postal worker.

She took a bite out of a sucker (in the wrapper) that I told her to put down and then proclaimed, "Me bite it."

She took a sheet of stickers and stuck them all over the floor.

She climbed up a chair to get her bowl of granola down from a high counter (that I'd taken away from her earlier) and when I told her not to touch it, she didn't listen. I went to pick her up and she grabbed it, spilling granola all over the floor (that Clara cleaned up without being asked).

She has noticed we have a set of light switches that she can reach without standing on a chair. So she turned them off and on no less than 25 times before I threatened to send her to her room.

When Clara was emptying the dishwasher, she stood in front of the drawers and wouldn't let her open them to put the dishes away (she is such a bully sometimes, a cute bully, but a bully nonetheless).

I told her not to touch my computer and she pushed the power button really fast, shutting it down. I shut it and told her again not to touch it so she'd walk up to it, put her finger a hair away and when I'd look up at her, she'd touch it very quickly and softly.

Clara was making a salad for dinner (are you noticing how helpful Clara was today??) and every time she'd peel a carrot, Hazel would steal it and chew on it.

We have a chocolate orange in the fridge from Christmas and Hazel grabbed it when Clara opened the fridge. I let her have a piece. Later, she tried to grab it again and it took both Clara and I to get it away from her. She was screaming and clenching to that chocolate with a death grip. (In that moment, I kind of wanted to throw away every ounce of candy in our house).

She got a bunch of shoes that don't fit her out of a bin and took them all over.

While Clara was practicing her piano, Hazel threw a book on the floor. I asked her to put it away, which she did. But on her way back to the couch, she jumped on another book. I told her to get off the book and she said, "What book?"

Every time I told her no, she'd scream and throw a fit. Every. Time.

I asked her over and over to stop splashing in the bath because Clara was listening to a book. She didn't, so I took her out. Then I told her not to touch the conditioner and she pumped it anyway, getting it on the tub.

After that she took Jason's body spray and sprayed herself with it (after I told her not to touch it).

She got some gel out of the bathroom cupboard and squeezed it into her hands.

It kind of sounds like I didn't watch her all day, but most of the stuff was done in about 1/2 a second when I was next to her but focused on something else. Every time I tried to get anything done, she'd strike. It go so frustrating! Then every time I would wash her hands (which was quite often) she'd just stare at herself in the mirror with a little smirk, indicating she was rather proud of her most recent discovery.

... pretty sure I would have been worn out even with a full night's sleep.

Other January Notables & Random Pictures

We had a pipe that froze and broke while I was at work one day. I arrived home to find water shooting about 15 feet into the air from the side of the house. Although it was only around 7pm when I arrived home, the water on the driveway had already froze. Grateful for the nice man in our ward that came and fixed it, grateful Jason works so close to home so he could be there in a few minutes and grateful it was outside.

Hazel didn't learn manners.

No idea. One day she kept walking around like this and seemed very intent on doing something in particular with her hands in this shape while she rested them on the top of her belly.

Daniel came for a visit.

Hazel looked at lots and lots of books.

We read lots and lots of books (can you tell books are kind of a big deal around here?)

 

Our oranges survived some historically low temperatures. It froze I think 4 days in a row, some days getting to the low 20's.

Hazel grew a curly mullet (and I cut it off).

My dad came and met me at my client (yup, Jack-in-the-Box) for lunch. Our lunch dates have been the highlight of my working on the west side. I'll be sad when it's over.

Hazel did a lot of puzzles on our phones/iPad. She says, "Do puzzles!" And look at those little rolls.

Clara celebrated the 100th day of school with 100 black beans (her choice) and I'm guessing she didn't inherit my Type A personality based on how she chose to glue the beans on. And she also looks like a mini-nun in this picture.

For MLK day we hung out with Beka at her parent's, which mean a little zip-lining. 

 

We followed that up with some frozen yogurt.

I found the greatest time to shop at the Ranch Market: 7:45am. It almost looks like a real grocery store and Hazel smiled at everyone, including the lady that said, "That's a smile that would make the Devil himself smile."

Hazel learned to blink!

We had a picnic in the front yard.

Hazel is hilarious when she's doing something she shouldn't. In this picture, she's trying to steal a sucker, see her "hiding" it? She put it there and walked away and wouldn't look at me or say anything.

More fun with 3D glasses.

We got lots and lots of rain.

This is a retention basin, not a lake.

Jason and I got invited to listen to this independent musician at our neighbor's. Jason had to leave early which likely worked out better for both of us. He's not really into that type of thing and I was able to enjoy it free of snide remarks.  Read more about Gideon here.

Clara went to Beka's boys' party (and I got some me time with no agenda which was pretty awesome).

I have always liked matching socks... until these lame things came along. These are five different socks.

I met up with a friend and former co-worker for lunch at Postino. Afterwards, I took the girls to get gelato at LGO. I love just enjoying life with these two. It's only a matter of time before they grow up and I don't want that day to be met with regrets of not capitalizing on the time we had when they were young.

"Mom, mustache!"

100 day necklace

Then there was the day Hazel decided to "ride" her snail. It has wheels on the bottom so it can be drug around by a string, but Hazel decided she could sit on it and slide around.

That might have been the same day Clara taped her face just because.

I got more sweet notes from Clara.

"Der Mom, I love you you are my best mom you cleen the has vawar mech."
Interpretation: Dear Mom, I love you. You are my best mom. You clean the house very much.
Those notes will never get old.

Celebrating 9 Years

January 10th marked mine and Jason's 9 year anniversary. When I read the weather, I saw beautiful, warmer-than-usual temperatures (high 60's) and decided to make it a park day. We made a picnic lunch and met Jason. It turned out to be a frigid, windy day. Either I misread something or the weather guy was way off. It never made it out of the 50's, let alone into the thigh 60's. So our stay was short, but we still had fun.

If you have time, save these next two pictures and toggle between them really fast and watch Hazel. It's hilarious.

As if her head isn't big enough...

Do not mess with Clara's dancing skills. Especially not when she tucks her jacket into her red velour leggings. She means business.

That night, I made sweedish meatballs, for an extra special meal, that I ate with the girls since Jason had to work late.

I might have been sad that Jason wasn't home, but we also had Lilly lined up to babysit on Saturday so we could go celebrate with just us. That weekend Lilly babysat so we could go out to dinner and a movie. We ate at CPK because we had a gift card and we were reminded why we don't go there. Not our favorite. But we still had fun. I'm always a little shocked at how different the dynamics and conversation of dinner are without the kids. Then Jason talked me into going to see Lincoln. We'd heard it was good, but I was so exhausted from being up late working the previous weeks that I just wanted to sleep. Well, turns out Lincoln isn't necessarily and entertaining movie, per se, so I decided I'd go ahead and take a nap. I woke up every 20 minutes or so and felt like I didn't miss much. At first I was annoyed that I spent $10 for a nap and then I decided I'd pay $10 for a nap any day.  (I couldn't help it, I was exhausted.) I love "real" dates (getting out of the house with just us) and wish we had more time and money to do it weekly. Time and a season, right?

So, after 9 whole years of marriage, I'm still happy with my choice for an eternal mate. There are ups and downs and all arounds, but overall, I think we do pretty good. After all is said and done, we're always up. I often think about how well Jason and I complement each other and smile. We both have different things to bring to the table so that when you look at the table with both our offerings, it's nice and full. Neither of us could do that alone, but together, we can. I also couldn't have picked a better father for my children. He is such a hands-on dad and watching him father makes me love him even more. Good thing because eternity is a really long time. Like, forever.

2013: Order

I love the beginning of a new year. It's refreshing for me and I feel like the possibilities are endless as to what I can accomplish in the months ahead. Although I feel like I'm constantly refining myself and setting goals on a regular basis as things come up, I do like to focus on something each year. Rachel suggested my word this year be FUN. Yes, I know, I need to be more fun. That's an ongoing struggle, trust me. But that didn't seem important enough to be my main focus. Instead, I chose to focus on order. After all, if I can get all areas of my life in order, we'll have more resources for fun. I love this scripture and have thought of it often over the last year when things seemed to get more chaotic than I'm comfortable with.

Organize yourselves; ^aprepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a ^bhouse of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of ^corder, a ^dhouse of God;

Doctrine & Covenants 109:8

House - There have been a few times when my house has been pretty clean. However, I have never been completely happy with my house since we've lived here. I want it to be orderly. I want everything to have a place. I want every cupboard and closet organized. I know this won't happen overnight. In fact, I'm giving myself a good six months, longer if I keep working as much as I am. So far, I've been improving in this area. I've been de-junking little by little. It feels so good and I can't wait to be done.

Finances - The last couple months we have been pretty careless with our spending. And before that, we hadn't stuck to our budget for months. I can't tell you the last time we actually stuck with our budget. Most of the time we weren't spending more than we made, but we also were not saving as much as we could have and that really started to irritate me. Jason's first paycheck of the year had no OT (the first since switching jobs). Plus, it had our life insurance premium deducted, our HSA contributions and the increased social security tax. It was a pretty lean check and made me realize how important it is to get our finances in order since we never know when that will be the norm. I thought the timing of that check was impeccable and inspired me to double my efforts in sticking with our budget. I'm happy to report January was a success. We stuck to the budget and we're on our way to doing the same with February. Hooray! It feels great.

Work - The last year or so has been plentiful for me in regards to work. I kept waiting for things to slow down so I could get caught up and organized. However, I have decided it may never slow down so I need to do things assuming it won't slow down and adjust accordingly if it does. My solution? Hire people to help me. It has been so nice to have help and I've wondered often why I didn't do this before. There's not a lot that others can do for me, but anything is better than nothing. I still have a long ways to go before I feel like everything is in order work-wise, but I like the path I'm on. I don't like having things I should be working on for clients constantly hanging over my head.

Life - And in general, I just want my life to be more orderly. I don't like feeling like I'm always scrambling and frazzled. I know there will always be times like that, but I don't want that to be my norm. This means I am committing to less and trying to make smarter decisions. Instead of trying to do everything on my list, I do what is necessary. Instead of planning things just to have something on my calendar, I just let life happen and usually, that keeps us plenty busy. Instead of making sure we go do all sorts of things as a family, we opt for evenings at home. I want organization in my life because then I'll be more available for my kids. I'll be more available to help others. Order creates such a peaceful feeling and I know it increases my sensitivity to the Spirit. By being disciplined enough to have order and be organized, it really gives us freedom and more control over our lives. And that feels really great. It's gonna be a good year.

Grandma Penrod

Jason's Grandma, Beulah Penrod, passed away on December 31, 2012. Just a few weeks before that, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and at the time, we were all sick so we didn't go see her. The week after, Jason drove to Taylor for a night to say goodbye to her, even though at that point, she was not conscious. When we got word that she finally let go and left this earth, I cried for happiness for her. I can only imagine the reunion with her husband that died 45 (I think?) years earlier, her 10 brothers and sisters that have passed away, her parents, her son and many others that she has said goodbye too. She was 95 years old and I know she's been ready to go for a while. Not long ago, we got to visit with her and take a few pictures of her. She was very alert and aware and was just ready to go. I think she needed to be around for others to heal the all-too-recent death of her son. As a young widow, she might have been the only one that really knew a lot of the feelings her daughter-in-law was experiencing. But alas, it was time. The funeral was enjoyable and she was buried in Vernon. The sun decided to shine on us for a bit and it really wasn't as cold as I had feared. You have to cover the grave yourself at the cemetery and I really enjoyed watching her sons and grandsons shovel dirt in their white shirts, ties and sometimes suits. Such a respectable lady deserved no less honor than that.

After the funeral, we had the luncheon. I was a bit overwhelmed at the thought of the people that organized lunch for hundreds of people. Being the recipient of Christlike service strengthens my testimony every time. One funny event at the luncheon: Hazel told us at the funeral she needed to go potty. Then she told us at the cemetery she needed to go. And then we got to the church and forgot to take her. Apparently she figured she'd asked enough and just went, on Jason, while he was holding her.

Beulah's kids: Randel, Rodney, Delbert (aka Kim), Venla and Floyd. One daughter chose not to go to the cemetery and one son beat her to Heaven.

I love this tree.

 

After the luncheon, I went and played in the snow with the girls. Jason sat in the car (every party has a pooper...). Hazel petered out after about 30 minutes, but I had to bribe Clara to be done after at least an hour and a half. It was a lot of fun and I love watching my kids explore and experience new things. Her favorite thing was definitely making snow angels. I bent down to help her out of one and noticed something dark in the snow. I thought maybe it was a stick or a rock and turned to walk away. I decided to check anyway and good thing I did because it was my phone. When I bent over to help Clara up, it must have slipped out of my pocket. Glad I found it! :)

 

Clara carried this chunk of snow around so she could nibble on it.

And Hazel didn't stop eating the snow either.

 

Clara took this picture of me and said, "I kind of cut your head off." Um, yeah.

We made giant letters in the snow and took turns guessing what letter it was.

Pretty sure she had a grand old time.

I love the changing scenery driving to the White Mountains. Especially in the winter.