Note: Random Rambling

So. I have lofty goals. But oft times, reality butts in and said lofty goals don't get accomplished. Going on vacation the first week of December was the beginning of my most recent downward spiral. Then came my incredible ability to over-commit to people and agree to things I don't have time to do, sick kids, Christmas parties, birthdays, cooking dinner, doing service and Christmas preparation. All of which is really nothing more than reality. But a reality that is so much more than I was ready for. I started making progress this week and then I got sick. It felt like I backtracked through all my progress and hard work. Again, that's life and even though my to do list is rather long, I feel like I can breath. Because of the holidays, no one is expecting any work from me before the 26th. Jason will have some time off and has agreed to help me good clean the house (my only Christmas wish). And most of the busyness in the next week is fun busyness.

Things I'd like to blog about: my thoughts on the tragedy in Connecticut and Mormon feminists

Things I'll definitely blog about, no matter how long it takes: our trip to California that was lots and lots of fun and Clara turning 6 (last night she told Jason: Dad, you better say goodbye to me as a 5 year old, because tomorrow I'll be six) and why I want to give her a redo

Today was comical. I was annoyed I have been sick and behind on work because I didn't get to make Clara's birthday special. Jason's old company hadn't done a Christmas party in years. I love company Christmas parties. His new company was doing one. But guess who was sick and didn't go? Yeah, me. I cried like a 10 year old. While we were getting the kids ready, Hazel went to my nightstand drawer where I was hiding one of Jason's gifts, took the gift out and went and gave it to Jason. Awesome. I laughed. Jason and I laughed hard. I love laughing with him. Obviously she didn't have a clue what was going on, she just found the wallet we bought for daddy and wanted to give it to him. Then Jason went to put the stroller in the back of my car where he found another one of his gifts. He brought it in, laughing, and said, "You should wrap this too." If only I'd known he was going to open the car.

Clara and Hazel got to go to the party with Jason and I stayed here. I decided to make the most of it, stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy some downtime. I relaxed, actually sat down to eat and ate without interruption, tied bows on gifts and now I'm blogging. I think I'll go to bed early too. I can do everything tomorrow that I should do tonight.

Here are my girls ready to go to the party with Jason. I almost returned this cardigan that I got Clara for her birthday, but once she put it on, I was so glad I didn't. And Hazel smiled for a picture and then stared at me for about 30 seconds with this crazy face.

I Love Him

Vacation is always a little taxing, but I learned that over-committing my time to work and having a chaotic weekend (two Christmas parties, a baptism, a dance recital and hosting a family dinner) following a vacation creates the perfect storm. Hazel getting sick and waking up all night until 5am only compounded the situation. But after lots of stress, an average of 4 hours of sleep since Sunday night and sticking to my rigid schedule, I finally feel like I am catching up and am hopeful that the worst is over. So, moving on to him...

We had lunch with Jason at Pei Wei yesterday and I might have cried in the restaurant. A man sitting near us asked Jason if he could do a big favor: move Hazel's high chair out of the path so he could get by on his motorized scooter. Without hesitation, Jason got up, moved the high chair and then proceeded to clear the entire path from the man's table to the door, including a sign. He then waited for the man to saddle up on his scooter and slowly exit so he could replace the sign in its proper spot. It reminded me of our recent trip to California when we went out to eat and he very casually asked our server to put Alexis' food on our tab before it ever became awkward. He is so cognizant of the needs of those around him and I love that he steps up without complaint to help others. In both situations, I felt like the luckiest girl in the restaurant. Every time something like this happens, my heart swells with joy knowing that wonderful man is my husband. And when my heart can't swell anymore, I cry. Jason is one of the most thoughtful people I know and sometimes I get a teensy bit jealous that all his time helping others isn't spent helping me. But, it makes me so happy to watch him serving and helping those he loves and perfect strangers alike. I love him.

Angela took a few photos of us and this one turned out pretty great.

My Cup Overfloweth

Our Ward Christmas party is a service project. When I got the link to the volunteer page of things to bring, I just sat and cried. I love this time of year, but it sure makes me cry. Beans, rice, salt, toothpaste, etc. So many people just want the basics. When we were struggling, it was so hard for me not to be able to help people around me. Now that we can, it's hard for me not to do more. We have so much to be grateful for. A home, clothing, food. Good jobs. We live in a great Country and enjoy daily freedoms we take for granted. {Sidenote: My dad's friend from Pakistan joined us for our Melzer Thanksgiving dinner and my mom's friend that grew up in Russia came as well. Talking to them was absolutely shocking, but the setting, Thanksgiving dinner, couldn't have been more appropriate. It was a great reminder of our freedoms. It's appalling and literally unbelievable the persecution some people are faced with.} I am so grateful for my girls and for Jason. I love my little family and often just smile because those three alone make me feel incredibly blessed. We have good health, wonderful friends and family all around us and testimonies of the truthfulness of the gospel. We know we can pray to our Heavenly Father and better yet, we know He hears and answers those prayers.

Those were my thoughts approaching Thanksgiving...

We had our traditional Melzer dinner with my family on Wednesday night.

Then we hosted Jason's family at our house Thursday. I might have gone slightly overboard on the drinks, so I took half of them to my family's dinner the night before.

I did pretty good about getting all my stuff done, except decorations. I got really excited when I thought to make turkeys using a similar process as those tissue paper puff balls. Then I realized we had little acorns across the street so I sent the girls to gather as many as they could. Then these three cute girls helped me set all the tables. They loved it and it went so fast having so many extra hands to help.

After dinner, we thought and talked about Black Friday, but mostly just sat around for a really long time.

And then Hazel entertained.

And then we went to Wal Mart. The employee told us the tupperware was gone. That was five seconds before I took this picture. Did you know I am not a fan of Wal Mart? Every time I go, I have another reason to dislike it.

And then I came home (at about 2am) and ate a salad... that had a worm in it. (Thanks a lot Keirsten!)

And then I stayed up until about 3am talking to Maricel. The next day I began the great cleaning, which included taking out the fifth full garbage bag from the day and running my dishwasher THREE times.

And now I'm wondering if it's possible to get everything done I need to get done before the end of the year. Probably not. But I'm gonna try!