Having a gratitude attitude...

Lately, the topic of gratitude has been on my mind A LOT. On Monday, my heart was full of gratitude. So full, in fact, that it just pushed the tears up and right out of my eyes. So full because I was overwhelmed with a special little Christmas package I received with the most perfect collection of cozy gifts for me (I guess Jason too, if I have to share) and lots of fun (and cute) things for Clara. Overwhelmed because I had another moment where I knew, without a doubt, that the Lord is aware of me and was reminding me through the acts of someone else.

Later that night, something unexpected came up and I was thinking of how I'd just say a little prayer and ask for some help to make it through. Then I decided that despite the fact that I really needed help to manage this unexpected surprises (no one said all surprises are good), I had so much to be grateful for. After all, the more help we need, the more help we get and therefore, the more we have to be thankful for.

Since then, I've been thinking about all the many reasons it's important to be grateful. One thing I've never considered before is that when I take the time to recognize the blessings in my life and express gratitude for all that I have, I spend less time complaining. Complaining is the antithesis of expressing gratitude. As our minds become more and more occupied with the things we have to be grateful for, the less room there is to think of the things that we would otherwise complain about.

So there, Anna's deep (or not so deep... I'm a little slow) thought for the week.

Picture from here.

Reasons to Rejoice

Christmas lights and live music at the Temple with family on Christmas Eve Random shots from he who hath taken my camera (Hey Anna, have you had a chance to look at the pictures I took? Can't imagine which ones Clint was so anxious for me to see).

Donuts, hot chocolate and Santa hats at Grandma's after the lights

{From Clara} Taking my PJ's off and holding them up proudly for Mom to see when she came in Christmas morning, my new harmonica (when I saw it, I ran into the corner to play it so no one would take it), treats and toys in my stocking, Christmas!

Stormy skies, rain and lady bugs that look like Clara

Neighbors with yards that make you wonder if you're still in Arizona

Hanging out with my mom and sisters

People (name to remain anonymous) who pull their pants up past their belly buttons. And leave them hiked up to push Elsa on the swing.

Clara using the stethoscope on the dog

All is merry and bright

I was thinking, isn't it amazing how widely celebrated Christmas is? And that it's been celebrated for so long? Christmas will always be a celebration. That's how significant the birth of the Savior was. In a world that is always changing, that will be constant. I've had a most pleasant Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Merry Christmas!

Cycles, Emotions & WD-40

Life is full of cycles. Quite often, it seems my life is a never-ending, yet reoccurring emotional cycle (no, not that one). Each time, I go full circle. Glide along, struggle, struggle more, feel hopelessness, adjust attitude, feel hopeful, see the light, glide along. Repeated, indefinitely. It often makes me feel like an emotional wreck, although I admittedly learn and grow along the way.

Yesterday, for good reason might I add, I entered the "feel hopelessness" phase of my current cycle. Sometimes that phase is longer than desired. Fortunately, today I am already in the "feel hopeful" phase. And I'm very hopeful that someday soon my window in Heaven will be sprayed with some WD-40 so it can open just a bit more. :)

Meanwhile, I have one awesome kid to keep me laughing.

Drawing the Line

There have been so many little things we've been up to and since it seems things are only going to get busier before Christmas, here's a brief highlight of it all.

Lunch Party: Hosted by one of my clients. Jason and Clara came. Cold, good food and fun.

Ward Christmas party: Impressive (don't ever ask me to be on the activities committee, I would not impress). Clara even sat on Santa's lap for the first time. She didn't smile, but she wasn't screaming either.
Ten dozen sugar cookies: I had way too many people on my list of places to take them (including most of you), but I had to draw the line. So there the line was drawn, below everyone that wasn't on my street, wasn't my VT or wasn't Jason's HT. I made way too much green frosting and decided oh well, what's wrong with martian gingerbread men and stars from Krypton (that's a place, right?)?
Connie & Rodney: Came to town for shopping and Clara's birthday. I went shopping with Connie and Rodney and Jason stayed home while Clara had a nice short catnap (small houses, talking men and light sleepers don't mix well). After that, we went out to dinner.

Home theaters: The guys refused to forgo watching the Suns' game, so we set up our own little theater in Clara's room for the kids to watch Polar Express. Someone, won't mention any names, said "Maybe we could have a snack too". I love how sneaky these kids are. Wheat thins, peanut M&M's and a movie, DVD players are the best babysitters ever. Ha ha, send 'em on over anytime! We did play a little bit, I promise. And I was in the room more than I was out because my child doesn't seem to know how to watch a movie.

Accompanying: I have the hardest time playing the piano when people are singing, unless I have the piece memorized. Lamar needed to practice so I was sight reading these pieces and somehow managed to play just fine while he sang Tenor and Rodney sung Baritone. It was a happy moment, two of my favorite music sources: the piano and men's singing voices. I wish I could do that more often.

Streaking: It always looks better with a beanie.

Christmas pictures: I'm such a rebel. Clara and Jason wore pink instead of red and I wore green (the ONLY person in RS that had on green... and PS, 16 of the 20 or so other women in there had red on... yes, I counted). Clara was so darling while we were taking these pictures. She kept wanting to grab our faces and was doing a really good job smiling.

Trains & poop: After dinner on Sunday we went to a train display. Still cool (we went last year). We didn't stay long because Clara and I smelled like poop. Yeah, poop. Just as we were leaving my mom's, I smelled something awfully funny and realized Clara had crawled and stepped in poop somewhere and then tracked it all over me (and Clint and Angela). After checking Clara and making sure it was from neither of us, we were certain it was from one of the dogs. Fantastic. I was feeling sheepish because of the gifts that were given to Clara (I'm suffering from poorman's humility) and then I smelled like poop. Good thing I get over stuff quickly. :)

Clara's new babysitter:

Angela: Today is Angela's birthday. She might not like me for having Clara the day before her birthday, but I'm glad we get to celebrate her and Clara's birthdays together. Sometimes I'm intimidated by Angela's coolness, but I still love her. I'm looking forward to when we can hang out more during the day (don't get excited, I'm not implying anything here, it's just my thought). Love ya Angela!

Little Miss Goose

Someone turned two today. With every stage Clara grows into, I find myself thinking, "This is my favorite age." And I believe that. Until the next one comes about. It is fun to reminisce about when Clara was just so tiny and thoroughly enjoyable to see the amount of things she's learned/developed in just two years. Just as Clara has gone from this to this...

My love has increased exponentially as well. What a sweet little girl we've been blessed with in our home. I love her more than words can explain. I know that's so cliche, but mothers understand. There is something about a mother's love that is so deep that words can't get near it. That's certainly how much I love Clara.

On Sundays we celebrate birthdays at my mom's. I made these cupcake pops (cute, not worth the effort in my opinion because of the taste, but I'd make them again) to take over there. I didn't want to have a party for her 2nd birthday, but I did want to have something other than cake. So cupcake pops it was.

Clara blew her candle out before we even started singing to her. So we lit it again and she waited until we finished singing. She was SO proud of herself when she blew it out.

Clara got lots of fun presents and will love them all. I felt a little silly because I wasn't expecting everyone to get her something. We're lucky to be near so many friends and family.

Coming Soon: What we've been up to the last several days...

FOF - Office Humor

Working isn't all that bad. Especially when I remember things about offices that make me laugh.

For instance, the drama. I don't care to elaborate on this one, but the drama is funny. Especially if you have someone to talk about it with.

Or eavesdropping on people's phone calls and hearing someone call the person on the other end of the line a "googatron". Right, a googatron. Maybe it's not nice to eavesdrop, but if you're going to talk on your cell phone in a cubicle, you might not want to speak of personal things. Or use funny words because evesdroppers might laugh.

And then there is the issue of people's lunches getting eaten out of the fridge. Who seriously goes to the fridge and rips off someone else's lunch? This actually makes me laugh harder remembering an old audit client that had a very elderly man who had his Coke stolen from the fridge. Every year in our required fraud interviews (in which we were clearly inquiring about financial fraud or property fraud from the company), he'd tell us about the fraud he was a victim of. To mitigate this fraud, he put a sign on the fridge informing people not to take another's food or drink. It was awesome.

Of course there are lunch stories too. Today most of the accounting department ordered burritos from Chipotle. Someone called the order in so it'd be ready when they arrived to pick it up. An hour later, they returned. In addition to accidents creating horrendous traffic, apparently some person at the front of the line ordered FORTY burritos. What's the point of calling in an order when you get behind someone like that? I'm still laughing at their luck...

Finally, the signs on the stalls in the restrooms. The ones in the place I've been working say, "Please dispose of personal items properly and in regard to the next user." Exactly what prompted that phrase to be plastered on the stall door, I wonder. For we all know that in the bathroom, there are only certain types of "personal items" that would ever be in need of disposing. :)

Dreams

At nights I have lots of anxiety about reality (I know, I know, where's my faith?). But sometimes reality is quite stressful. To help me go to sleep, I force wonderful thoughts into my head, hoping they become my dreams.

Tonight (last night?) I fell asleep on the couch after tying ribbon on a few gifts. It wasn't too late, but after five hours of sleep, being sick, working all day, making dinner, playing with Clara and working again, I couldn't help it. Jason was out playing basketball and carried me to bed when he got home.

Normally, those are good nights because falling asleep takes no effort. Unless, of course, I wake up to a nightmare, like tonight. There was a man in my house with a gun. Clara was awake so I told Jason to find the man while I got Clara. The man told Jason, he hadn't finished what he needed to do, stepped into Clara's room and pointed the gun at her in my arms. And then I woke up.

It was terrifying. My dreams are SO real and they stir up such strong emotions. I've woken up to many dreams with such real feelings (fear, elation, anger/resentment towards someone, sorrow, frustration, etc.). For a brief moment, I have to very consciously make myself separate reality and the dream. Tonight I woke up and wondered: are the doors locked? Is Clara asleep? Check and check. It didn't take long for the voice of reason to calm me down, but the horror was so startling and made me wide awake. Which means it will take a while to get ready for sleep again (why else am I blogging at four in the morning?).

Then I begin to wonder... is it foreshadowing? Is it symbolic? If so, what does it mean? Am I just concerned with evil in the world or was that a specific warning for me? Then I remember my last thought as the gun pointed towards us: a quick prayer for a miracle that the gun wouldn't work. But then, of course, I woke up, for which I am grateful because now it has become a choose-your-own-adventure book. And I wonder... would my faith be strong enough for the ending I chose?

Left vs Right

aka Anna vs Rachel/Angela

Don't ask why, but it's always been amusing to me to see how different the personalities are of me and my eight siblings. Sure, we have a lot in common. But there are also a lot of differences. Take, for example, my college education versus Angela and Rachel's. Accounting and Graphic Design are two very opposite methods of thought. I notice this occasionally, but spending five days with both of them several weeks ago made some of the differences even more pronounced.

Here's what I am talking about.

Deciding where to eat
price vs restaurant logo

First glance at menu
make a quick calculation of how much the meal will cost w/ tax and tip vs notice the logo uses a different type/font than the sign (see... I don't even know the difference between font and type...)

Observing signs
is it legible and does it look "okay" vs identifying the name of the font... and then other logos/signs that have utilized the same font and how a sign we drove by used the same font as Obama's campaign

There are some things that pictures can explain...

Shoes Self-portraits (no, I'm not saying Clara is my neck warmer...)

Kitchens

Okay, that was a joke... comparing Rachel's kitchen with my kitchen in Utah that she picked everything out for. Here's where I really cook. Nice and BLAH (minus Clara).

And there you have a small summary of an accountant's life versus a designer's life.

Um, yaaaah

What sounds better, going to bed early and waking up every 1-2 hours only to be kept awake for long spans of time by The Man (who's also sick) or staying up so late your body is so tired it has no option except to sleep until morning? Plan A didn't work out so well for me last night, so we're going with Plan B tonight. It's gotta be better than last night. To help my efforts, I thought I'd offer up some random pictures and random thoughts.

This little goose is hilarious. Today she stuck her legs straight in the air when I laid her on her back for her nap. Then tonight we were watching the Suns game for our FHE activity (hmm, I wonder who was in charge of FHE tonight) and if we laughed or got excited, Clara would start fake laughing really loud. She hates to be left out, that's for sure.

She likes to watch "ball", aka basketball. Normally it lasts all of 5 minutes or so (shortest attention span ever). If you look closely, you see her hands behind her head...... not sure where she picked it up.

I wore these tights to church Sunday. I'm pretty sure almost everyone that saw me was wondering what I was thinking. You know, when people just look at you, not sure what to say. Kind of like when I get Shingles on my face. It's very obvious I have a big scab on my face that shouldn't be there and people try not to let me know they saw it so they don't have to comment on it (not that I expect them to, I know it's awkward). But anyway, that's how these tights are. Guess how much I care? I don't. Our church building is FREEZING and these keep me nice and warm. And I'm pretty sure the kids in Nursery think they are awesome.

James' friend's sister's dog (read it again, to make sure you followed that) is a Great Dane (duh) and is HUGE. Clara almost got to ride it like a horse.

It's the most wonderful time, of the year.

Tonight Clara wanted to put Jason's socks on. She ran around like this until bed time.

Friday was Daniel's birthday. He's the mechanical mind in the family. He can fix almost anything. I used to tell him he should be a mechanical engineer. He told me his dream was to own a go cart shop and live in a shack in the back of it. Daniel has a tender heart, which he hides all too well and often.

Today is James' birthday. James is the miracle baby. It's no wonder he survived all that he did upon entering this world: he's got more energy than anyone I've ever seen. When he was younger, he'd run and run and run and run. He might just become a walking book of facts like my dad.

PS Tonight I am especially grateful for a nose, more specifically, nostrils. Try brushing your teeth and then washing your face breathing only through your mouth.

Sick. Again.

I was sick for almost two weeks and was finally getting my energy back (although work was sucking it back almost as quickly as I was getting it) and now I'm sick again. But don't worry, it's the congested head cold that makes me talk like a man.

What? You don't like to talk like a man?

I do. And here's why: I have a beautiful baritone voice for singing Christmas songs, I can disguise my voice amazingly well on the phone and my range of voices to draw from while reading Clara books nearly doubles (which, by the way, makes Clara very happy).

FOF - People

My great week was made possible thanks to these wonderful sponsors:

Sibling #1 - you know who you are and you know why.

Sibling #2 - you know who you are and you know why.

MIL - sending us a box of food AND half a cow. Okay, maybe not half of a cow, but you get the point. This delivery came at a particularly ironic moment of the week.

Friends - friend that made me dinner and friend that hosted a tea party. Might have even been the same person, guess you'll never know.

Family - (I know, I'm kind of cheating on this one) for watching and loving Clara. Grandpa and Lily took the day off on Wednesday and watched her all day, Grandma on Thursday night and Kathryn on Friday so Jason could go to his work holiday lunch.

Why didn't this happen sooner?

Today I went to a tea party.

We drank peppermint hot chocolate with whipped cream.

We ate cookies, cake and fruit.

We talked and laughed.

Oh lovely tea party, please come again soon.

Rilly Silly Goose

Clara makes me laugh all the time. Like today, when she was so tired from not getting a nap (running unsuccessful errands all afternoon is awesome), I told her to look at me when she wasn't minding and her big eyes look up and out the corner and blink rapidly. Yeah, I kept it together for about 10 seconds, but she continued (for a good 30 seconds or so) and I couldn't help it. Or when she took her pj's and panties off and got in the bath tub and turned the water on (it's the first time she's fully undressed herself too). Here are some of the times I was able to get it on camera... notice her facial expressions.

Never enough shoes... And she stomps around in them too, making it funnier. She's been into jumping off things lately. Here she's jumping from the speaker.

I told her to pick up my 45-lb. bucket of wheat. She tried. Seriously.

For a while, she would get my jacket and ask me to put it on her. Then she found the glasses too. She thought she was oh so cute.One afternoon as I was making dinner, I saw her grab Jason's scriptures. I was listening to make sure I didn't hear her tear the pages (she's normally pretty good at that) and didn't hear anything for a while. I assumed she was sitting on the couch just turning pages, but when I went to peek on her, I found her laying on her belly 'reading' out loud, content as could be.

One morning Jason went to get her out of her crib and I heard him start cracking up. I went in to see what was going on and this is what he'd walked into. Somehow, Clara had got her head out, but not her arms.

Dancing before church.

As we drive home from my parent's on Sunday nights, Clara is usually grumpy since it's past her bed time and she hasn't had a nap. To stop her whining, she likes to "hold my hand". A few Sundays ago, she wasn't happy until she could hold both mine and Jason's hands. If only I were that easily satisfied...

Clara loves to copy me, including putting on makeup. Notice the three dots of cover up in the middle of her forehead.

Here is Little Miss Awesome in all her glory. I eat lots of candy and consequently, there's lots of it around our house. Clara will typically make a note of where it is so that when I'm occupied, she knows right where to go to get herself a little treat. Usually this means I'm pressed to get something done for work so I will typically just let her do it so I can take care of whatever it is I'm working on. The other morning, that is exactly what happened. She just eats the treats and when I say her name, she looks at me like, asking me with her eyes: what are you going to do about it? Part of me wants to laugh, part of me wants to scream that I have no control over her and part of me wants to handle the situation maturely. Anyway, I was in bed working and she was on the other side of my night stand, so her head was covered with the lampshade and as I looked over, I saw her dump the mostly empty bag upside down and stick her little tongue out to catch the crumbs. It was awfully cute (I got some good pictures of it, don't worry). But then, I captured "the look", complete with her fluffy bedhead and slobber and crumbs running down her chin.