Mothers... What Else?

Although it would be funny to talk about fathers in this particular blog post, I'll go ahead and be normal and talk about mothers. But only because I have complete respect and love for mothers. Earlier this week I started reading "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. I've heard it before, we are not just mothers. We are mothers. But from what I've read thus far, I've realized something sad. I respect mothers, I love being a mother and I treasure this time in my life. But that hasn't kept me from telling people "I just stay home" and when I do, I'm sure to say, "But I work part-time from home". I don't do this because I don't think motherhood is important or that staying home is challenging and rewarding in a league all of it's own. I do it because of my audience. I do it because I anctipate that's what other's think of the choices I've made so I feel I need to impress them and glamorize my decision to be a stay-at-home mom. After recognizing this, I've decided to be more proud about being a mom and not feeling like I need to dress up my decision to stay home and work from home. It doesn't even matter that I'm working. What matters to me is that I'm able to be a mother to one sweet little girl and I will be proud of that role, regardless of what others may see it as.

I love and admire all the mothers in my life for different reasons: Emily for working full time with her two kids and driving far to and from work; Rachel for her happy medium of love and discipline; Kathryn for her patience with kids; Angela (although she did get flowers today, I'm pretty sure she's not on track to be a mom anytime soon) for loving her nieces and nephews as a mother; and, Connie for happily raising SEVEN boys (that's right, happily). And of course, of all the mothers I know, I happen to think my mom is the best.

My mom is awesome. She is a great mother and the best grandmother anyone could ask for. She has taught me so much about not only mothering and homemaking, but about life. My two favorite things my mom has taught me through her near-perfect example are how to love children unconditionally, at all stages of life, and how to put yourself aside and drop anything and everything whenever the need arises to help someone else out. I love my mom and I love this picture: my mother and the little one that gets to call me mother.

We've had a crazy weekend and unfortunately, it's not over. Only after the chaos momentarily ends tomorrow will I be able to update the world on the festivity-filled weekend we've had.

Silly Little Girl

Clara cracks me up. Sometimes, it's in clever way that I can't really let her know I'm laughing (she's such a little stinker at times), but often it's just genuine child humor. This is what I laugh at:

* She loves to hide. Her favorite place is behind the curtains. You can obviously see her at all times because her feet stick out, but especially when the sun is shining in so you can see her silhouette. She'll just go there and wait for minutes until we come find her. She thinks she's so sneaky and tries to stand really still and quiet. Good thing because it's so hard to find her when she's not making noise. She also hides by the chair and sits really still like we can't see her. Jason just said she gets bored while she's doing it and tickles the carpet with her fingers.

* If you've been around Clara, you know she likes to babble. The other day, we got in the car and for at least ten minutes, she talked straight. She barely took a breath. Jason really needs to stop talking so much, he's clearly the one she's mimicking here.

* When Clara won't listen to me, which is usually when she's doing something she shouldn't that is REALLY fun, I make her look at my eyes before I talk to her about what she's doing. She will look back and forth and refuse to look at me. The other day she even turned her head so our eyes would've met up, but she blinked as she turned to make sure to continue to avoid me.

* When the doorbell rings or if someone knocks, she goes crazy. She screams, runs to me with her hands in the air and then will do the quick run in place that football players do as warm ups. It's totally funny.

* Clara loves to tickle my feet. She knows I'm ticklish and will try to grab them to watch my reaction. Likewise, she loves to tickle my stomach/side/back. If my shirt comes up and she's by me, she'll take full advantage of it.

* When she starts to stand up in her high chair or the stroller, she'll look at me to see if I'm watching and when she sees me she just smiles.

* She loves to push the stroller using the basket underneath. Today at the Zoo she did it for a good 15 or 20 minutes and loved every step. She even fell and skinned her knee a bit but just hopped back up to keep pushing.

* When she's being naughty and I get down to talk to her, she gets this really serious look on her face and when I ask her if she understands she stares straight at me and nods her head up and down. Sometimes I doubt she has any clue what I'm saying. However, if she doesn't give me her nod of approval, 99% of the time it means she has every intention of returning to do whatever she was just told not to.

* If she's overly tired, she thinks it's so funny to touch my face when I'm singing her songs in the rocking chair. She just laughs at herself.

* She loves to touch people's and animal's noses. The other day when we were coming home from Falcon Field with my Scouts I heard one of them say, "Look, my own personal nose picker." That's awesome. Clara was picking at his nose, luckily just the top and not in the nostril.

* Speaking of nostrils, she loves her's. She will put her finger up there and just hold it there until I take it out. She also likes the feel of her bugers. I know that's gross, but it's also kind of funny.

* Monday Clara learned how to walk on tiptoes. It looks so funny. I hope she doesn't make it a habit.

* I was watering my garden and told Clara not to touch the garden where I watered it. She put her finger in again so I took her hands, kneeled down to her eye level and once she looked at me, I told her if she did it again, she'd go inside. The second I left her side, she put the leg of the spiderman toy she had in the wet dirt. Turkey.

So Sweet

Preface: I get stress headaches all the time. I worry about stupid things until my head hurts. It got much better when I graduated, but I still get them. Also, for the last month or so, I've been having serious issues with my tail bone. Sitting too long creates much pain and it's hard to stand up afterwards. At first I thought it was just sore from sitting funny in my bed working with my lap top until three in the morning, but it hasn't gone away.

Also, somehow people get the impression that I'm mean to Jason. They think he is just so sweet and would never do anything to upset me. While he does have a very sweet streak, he also has a not so sweet streak. To illustrate:

A: I might need to go to the chiropracter before our house in Utah sells. My tailbone has really been bothering me. I almost couldn't sit through my Temple session.
J: I know why your head and tailbone are always hurting?
A: Why?
J: Because you are sprouting horns and a tail. Devil woman.

Okay, I admit: That's funny and clever. Just don't be fooled into thinking Jason is the victim in this marriage.

Day-to-day

On Friday I met Beka at Tempe Marketplace. I've never been there and I was pretty much impressed. They have way better stores than Riverview. What was Mesa thinking? That night I decided I really didn't want to make dinner and I didn't really care that we probably shouldn't eat out. I'd been craving Outback for a long time. I ate there a bunch while I was pregnant and don't think I've been back since. Jason was thrilled at my decision. If it were up to him, we'd eat out every night and he'd eat lunch out every day. But it's up to me, not him. :)

I was okay with a 30 minute wait on a Friday night. I was not okay with our waitress. She was so lethargic it was unbelievable! I figured she was just worn out so I wouldn't hold it against her. Nearly an hour after we were seated, we got our food (not okay). I ordered an 11oz med-well and Jason ordered the same cut and size, but medium. They didn't look right so we cut into them while the waitress (not our regular one) was there. Mine came out pretty well WELL done, 8 oz and butterflied to make sure there wasn't an ounce of pink. Jason's, was pretty medium-well. I volunteered to eat his, but the waitress was not happy with it and left. About 15 minutes later, the manager came out with our steaks and no mashed potatoes. They ran out of them. The manager was totally embarassed (I would be, my plate had nothing but a steak on it) and apologetically told us she'd comp our steaks. This time, my stake was barely med-well (almost medium) and Jason's was more med-rare. I just laughed when they still charged us for the bloomin' onion. I wasn't trying to get a free meal, but seriously, why even bother to charge for that if it's the only thing not comped? I guess it was good we went there so we didn't really have to spend that much and eventually we still got some decent food. :)

Saturday we went to Hunt's Hideaway since it might just be the last time I eat there. I started working there when I was 15 or 16 and worked there for a few years and then off and on for another little bit. They are closing this month. I get the same thing every time and most of the people don't even have to ask what I want: chicken philly with seasoned fries and a side of ranch and a side of honey mustard.That night was our Ward's annual Fiesta. We have the Spanish branch in our Ward so every year we have this around Cinco de Mayo. We have the Spanish members make authentic salsa and food and then they provide the entertainment. Their little boys are so cute in their black pants, flat-front white shirts, colored quechquemitl, black boots and mustaches. It's hilarious. Clara also got to make some things to wear. The kids paraded across the stage and Clara darted behind the curtains as soon as she got near center stage.

My mom was out of town so we had Kiri, Aaron and Adalyn over for dinner on Sunday. Someday I hope to learn how to not only have dinner done on time, but have my kitchen clean as well. Angela and Clint came over for dessert. I made "Heart of Darkness Brownies" from a darling cookbook Miss Noble gave me. They were quite delicious and I'm anxious to try another recipe from the book. Clara, give Adalyn a hug and kiss goodbye. Yesterday I worked on my two projects most of the day, except when I was at my meeting. I got my projects done only to realize I don't think I can purchase them together so I can't get the discount I was anticipating. So decisions will have to be made. Jason also had his last two finals for the semester yesterday. Yeah! The next three weeks are going to be great. And then eight weeks after that, life is going to be awesome. I told Jason it's going to be like we're getting married again.

Find Holger

Or more commonly known in America: Where's Waldo? Yeah, remember that guy? Turns out he is part of my family. As I've been anxiously engaged in a few rather large projects (not for work) I've realized a certain someone in our family has managed to appear in quite a few pictures of my little family. Furthermore, he awkwardly leans his way into pictures not meant for him to be in. I'm amused at how often he is randomly in a picture and undoubtedly, he's equally amused.

Thinking

I've been meaning to go to bed for the last hour or so. But, I'm having too much fun thinking about random thoughts. Like, am I the only one who's self-esteem has a direct relationship to the number of blog comments? Or, do people get bored with my journal-type blog? Should I take the time to run two: one that is more of a "this is what I did" and one that is "this is what I think". And, golly gee, I'm tired, but so much effort will be required to get ready for bed and move the pile of junk and the pile of clothes from the bed. By that time, I'll be wide awake again. But my last thought that encouraged me to actually post my thoughts was one regarding pregnancy.

I've often said I was so glad I didn't get pregnant right away because it would've been horrible to subject Jason to me as pregnant. I wouldn't say I'm particularly hormonal, but I was always tired, a wee bit sick and obviously got rather large and swollen. As attractive as it sounds, it's not. None of it. Plus, I was totally boring. However, I've been having second thoughts about that thinking maybe it's actually strategic. If you get pregnant soon after you get married, your husband is still willing to do anything you wish. Even more so, they will go out of their way to make you comfortable and happy instead of ignoring your complaining and distancing themselves from you so they don't have to deal with it, as if they had no part in the whole process. You know how certain things become less important to them as time goes on? All I'm saying is maybe there's a little more sympathy available for sharing sooner after marriage than later.

Rewind

Back up until Sunday... when we had a little going away party/baby shower for Aaron, Kiri and Adalyn. Why anyone would want to move away from us is beyond me, but I guess they have to do what's best for their family. We had fantastic food (what did people serve at parties before the lovely Cafe Rio/Costa Vida salad was introduced??) and a good time visiting. We also celebrated Doug's birthday. It's always hard to try and celebrate so many things at once. By the end, we were joking about what else we should celebrate that night.

Angela arrived with a sticker on her back, placed there by her dear, sweet husband. She noticed it and then it became totally funny about finding a way to get it stuck back to her. Each time, she had no clue it was there. The last time we got it stuck on there, Clint took a ton of pictures and couldn't get a shot of it. So finally, he held her down while I snapped a picture. It was funny. I know Angela was thinking, why does everyone hate me because I'm beautiful?? Well, that's just how life works Angela. :) We have to deal with being ugly, so you have to deal with teasing. Oh, and we don't hate you, so next time, remember to ask, why does everyone tease me because I'm beautiful?
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was work, work work. I didn't wake up on Monday morning at 4am like I planned. Wait, I did wake up, at 4am and every ten minutes thereafter until I got out of bed at 615am. In my life, there is a serious distinction between when I wake up and when I get out of bed. They certainly aren't always one in the same. I was up late Monday, fell asleep and fortunately woke up at 630am so I had some time before Clara woke up. One of my clients is in the middle of a review, which isn't near as intense as an audit, but it is still a little odd being on the other end. Especially since I wasn't around for all of 2007.

For Scouts on Wednesday we joined another Ward and went to the Falcon Field police station where MPD has their aviation department. One of the helicopter pilots talked to us then showed us the helicopters. It was totally awesome. I could've spent the entire afternoon asking questions, but I tried to let the boys have the time. At the very beginning, we watched a video of the aviation guys in action and it was pretty cool. I really do appreciate all the police men out there. It's pretty awesome what they're able to do and what they do do to keep us all safe. The only bad thing about the trip was my camera taking pictures like this.
So no pictures of my little goose in front of the airplane, well other than that one...

My camera did this for a few pictures in California, but then was better. This time, it lasted for much longer and I couldn't get it to go away. I guess it's time to buy a new camera. The only problem is I want a Canon 40D but we don't exactly have the money for that now. I did decide I'm sick of not being able to spend money so I said we'd spend all of our economic stimulus refund on this camera, but I don't know if that's what we should do. On other hand, I don't want to spend a few hundred dollars on a cheap camera I plan on replacing soon. Having two cameras (a big and small) is wasteful in my opinion but necessary in Jason's. Any advice? All I know is I love digital cameras and can't imagine life without one. :)

This morning we went to the Zoo with my mom and the twins. We went when it opened and I loved it because the animals seemed so much more active. The tiger jumped up in the tree and walked along the branches even. It was pretty neat. After a short debate on whether it was a good idea to let the kids play in the water, we decided yes. The only problem is they were kind of afraid of it. Clara liked it the most, but she'd run out when it was off, then get scared and run towards the edge when the water began to squirt.
Clara decided riding in the stroller backwards was better. That's funny because I swear she hates shopping carts because she's not facing the other direction. To clarify about Clara's "potty training". Three or so weeks ago, Clara told me she needed to go potty. Since then she's been going in the potty quite a bit but I still put diapers on her and I'm not really trying to potty train her. Mostly, she's done everything up to this point by herself and I've helped only a little. She did so good in California and almost never went in her diaper. At home, it's a different story. The day she was in panties was the first time ever and she had them on for like 2 hours max just for fun. While I get frustrated because I know she knows how to do it, I'm not pushing the issue because she is plenty young for me to just wait a bit. She knows what to do, but I think at home it's no longer exciting so she doesn't bother trying. Good thing she's still sweet!Anyway...

I love this baby. She has decided she will smile more for the camera now instead of stare. I love taking tons of pictures and seeing her different expressions in each one.
I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Jason won't have to work Saturday, I've been diligent in working this week so I won't feel too much obligation to be up late working and other than a Ward party Saturday night, we don't have much going on.

Seeing Eye to Eye

Apparently Clara and I are already having difficulties seeing eye to eye.

I thought Clara looked so cute in her little panties.

Clara thought she was so cute violenty moving her hands back and forth when I asked her if she needed to go potty, running into my neighbor's bedroom, sitting down on the floor and peeing all over it.

Firsts

Clara's first bloody lip last night from falling in the tub was good preparation for me and future injuries. Clara cried, there was lots of blood, I was calm and an otter pop saved the day. I figured Clara really wouldn't want me to hold an ice pack on her face so I let her eat an otter pop. It was cut on the outside and the inside and it makes me cringe thinking about it, but it wasn't that bad. Mouths bleed a lot and it wasn't swollen today but she keeps licking it.

Clara had her first accident today since she began potty training herself. How, you curiously wonder, could a child in a diaper have an accident? While at KS Clara needed to go, so I put her on the toilet and thought I'd watch from behind. It was a great idea until I felt something splash on my foot and I realized her potty was going in the toilet, but also down her leg, on the floor and soaking into her shorts. Awesome. She's been pantless since. Poor Clara, her first potty on her clothes was mother-inflicted.

FOF

Since I was gone on Friday... here's five things from our trip that made me laugh/happy:


Clara sticking both her legs up in the air on the way home. I only got a picture of one, so just use your imagination.


Curlers.


Brooklynn running down the hall after Clara and screaming. Clara getting scared by Brooklynn's screaming, crying and running back to me.


Laughing with Nikki and SaLeah. We have some awesome memories and our conversations are just as good.


Being in California and enjoying friends, family and amazing weather. It's the one vacation that I can so easily let go of reality while I'm away.