Sucker

On Halloween night, we went with my mom across the street for some chili and cornbread. I didn't take ANY pictures with my camera, but took plenty with my mom's and Angela took some. We came home to hang out, pass out candy and be lonely without Jason (he was at his friend's studying). We had very few trick-or-treaters come to our house. My neighbor said something about our light being set back so people passed by. Sure enough, I opened the door and watched tons of kids walk right past. A group of girls that did make it to our door said as they were leaving, "See, I told you we should go to that house even though you said it was scary..." Hmmm, I guess next year I need to make my front door a little more inviting!

Well, Clara got her treat for the night: one sucker. As I was unwrapping it, she was flapping her hands and couldn't wait. I put it in her mouth... She pulled it out with her right hand, felt it with her left hand...
Put it back in her mouth with her right hand...
Took it out and grabbed the top with her left hand... Then stuck the stick in her mouth while her left hand held the sticky part.I helped and put the right end in her mouth, and then she did her little routine all over again. In fact, she did it every time I tried to help. It was funny. After that and her trying to crawl all over with it in her hand, I just put her in her seat. It had gum in the middle and she surprised me by sucking it all the way down to the gum. Too bad that's when it was conveniently time for bed, I'm sure she'd love gum!

Four Days

Lots has been going on the last four days, but I think today is the day that I might get mostly caught up. A few reasons last Thursday was awful (mind you, it would not have been half this bad if we weren't so poor): paid $25 to the Dr. to tell them I had Shingles and what to prescribe, went to CVS to get the pills and the sav only to find out the pills were $13 but the sav was $65 for an itty bitty tube. I decided not get get it, got the pills (the PA told me I could take them if I was nursing) and went to the zoo. At the zoo, I read the package on the pills and noticed it said not to take while breastfeeding so I called the pharmacist and she said high concentrations of it go in the milk and it's not safe. I don't want to stop nursing and I wouldn't be able to "pump and dump" so after some convincing from Jason (after he said, "We can always get more money" he explained he meant for health costs, especially something that could affect my vision, he'd take a loan against his 401(k)), I went back to CVS, bought the sav and prayed it would stop the Singles from going into my eye. While at the zoo, I got a call saying we had to have our house in Utah unlisted for 30 days before we could get long-term financing. Fact: our loan matures Nov. 1st. Obviously we didn't have 30 days. I went to Chase and they said that is standard. I called my bank and explained the situation. By the time I called my realtor to tell her we needed to take our house off the market, I was emotionally exhausted and had a 45 minute theraputic phone call with her. She kindly told me, "It's just money." Actually, it's not just money, it's the risk of having a home foreclosed on not because we can't come up with the money to pay for it, but because of standards in the lending industry that very few people know about but them (the bank even admitted that to me). Anyway, long story short, it was all too much.

Since then, these are a few of the things we've been up to... We had our Trunk-or-Treat on Saturday night. I made Clara's Tinkerbell costume (wings, dress & shoes) with no pattern and I think it turned out just darling. Or maybe she's just darling... I borrowed some stuff from Kathryn too, so that helped limit how much I spent. It was a wee bit too tight on her belly so we'll see if I get around to modifying it before tonight. This is as close to a sucker as Clara got. Jason wouldn't let her have one and he even took this one away worrying she was consuming too much paper. Hopefully tonight I can sneak her a sucker.
One of Clara's favorite tricks is to ride the horse. I started it last week when she was super cranky and she LOVES it. I'm sure I look and sound like the biggest fool when I'm here alone with her, galloping around our house with her on my back as I nay, but she loves it, and that's what counts.

Also, we got pre-approved for our long-term financing for our house in Utah, so that is a relief. Hopefully it goes through as expected. If not, we have a willing co-signer, but the last thing I want to do is bring someone else into this disaster. Once it gets finalized, we will know just how poor we will be. Now, we are poor with the anxiety of not knowing how poor that is, so actually knowing will be better. Now we just need to keep bugging people to get it done. I was so frustrated yesterday realizing we were on the brink of foreclosure with this home and it wasn't because we didn't make payments, it wasn't because we couldn't come up with the money to make the payments, it was because the house still isn't done and now we are in a huge pickle of trying to buy (literally) just a few more weeks to get financing. If the house had been done months ago, we could have converted to long-term financing, saved thousands of dollars and not felt the stress of the crunch we're in now. So there appears to be a small light at the end of the tunnel

Foreign Concept

Yesterday I figured today would be better since unless a major catastrophe happened, I'm pretty sure it couldn't be worse than yesterday. Lucky for me, I was right! Don't get me wrong, it wasn't because of anything I did, but rather some of the sweet people in my life. Beka and Kathryn called to make sure I was alive, which I am. Alive and well? Not so much, but I'm alive. Angela brought me and Jason Golden Spoon and they happened to have the best combo every: Boysenberry and Cheesecake. I guess all of the bossing around when we were younger got Angela into a good habit... ;) She also brought me some seeds to plant to add to my happiness.

Then, Jason left work at Noon. Tomorrow he's taking the 'FE' (Fundamentals of Engineering) exam, so he came home to finish up some school work and to study. We also went to get his watch battery changed and get a few things at the store. It's been forever since we've done anything like that together, certainly a foreign concept as of late. Just our short little errand trip made me SO anxious for next May to come. I can't imagine having this luxury much more frequently than once a year! Oh boy, oh boy, it will be fun.

The other things that made me happy today were: 1. Walking down the aisle in Wal Mart and seeing ONE peppermint Chapstick for 88 cents. There are only two Chapstick flavors that work for me (and the only two chapsticks I prefer): Medicated and Peppermint. The peppermint is so cool. A few years ago when I was in Show Low for work, I bought some. It's almost gone and I thought I'd never find any again, but I did, and it was EIGHTY-EIGHT cents! 2. Clara's costume is mostly done (the hard part anyway) and I think it turned out pretty good. I just hope it fits, I might have gotten it a wee bit too small. 3. Clara giggling when she got to ride the horse (aka me). 4. My Shingles starting to scab over: less pain and less risk of it going into my eye. 5. Knowing Emily and her family had a home to go into today when they were let back into Fallbrook. 6. Going to JIB (Jason's parents sent him some birthday money and that's what he spends EVERY $ he gets on: food) so I didn't have to eat spaghetti for a seventh time this week (no exaggerations). 7. Clara taking two super good naps. 8. Jason telling me I have a fun job (being a mom) and wondering how I don't sleep all day long, because that's what he'd do. 9. Watching Jason play with Clara (I loved this for many reasons: it meant Jason was home, it made me so glad I have a husband who loves kids, especially Clara and Clara was happy). and... 10. Eating a carmel apple for breakfast.

Is There Something on My Face?

I am soooooo thankful for the sweetest baby ever that makes the worst days ever (i.e. yesterday) endurable.

All Sorts of Stuff

Today I was so excited for Scouts. For the activity, I had the boys make these beaded Indian headdress neckerchief slides and I think they look so cool. The boys liked them too... I think it's the first thing I've had them do they really enjoyed.

Also, garden update: I must confess, I never actually planted radishes. I even watered the squares the first few days forgetting it was just dirt. Ha. I intended to, but when I went to the store to buy the seeds, they were all out and Angela reminded me I needed to plant Marigolds to keep the bugs out. End result? One of my radish squares became a tomato plant (not tomato season, but the plant was free) and the other is home for the Marigolds (not my flower of choice, but if it keeps the bugs out...) It's been one week and one day and I have at least one plant coming up of every kind. Most of them are itty bitty and when I went to take pictures tonight, I didn't even see them, Jason pointed them out, but they are there! How cool is that? Aren't seeds amazing? They do NOTHING until they are planted in soil and have the proper nourishment and then they become living plants and produce food. And to think just over a week ago some were as small as a little fleck of pepper. I also planted some other flowers hoping they'd make me happier. I love flowers and I love growing things, so obviously I'm enjoying my flowers.

Other than that, Clara is recovering from a cold and I'm hacking non-stop and waking up all night. I used to never get sick and this is our second round in the last few months. I think I'm just so worn down that my body can't fight off anything... Last night I could tell I was getting a cold sore under my nose and thought, just what I need. But I wasn't surprised: no sleep + sickness + maximum stress = cold sores for Anna. Well, apparently that wasn't enough, because today I sprouted a big FAT patch of Shingles by my eye. If you've known me long enough, you've seen the beauty of it. I know I haven't had Shingles since I've been married, but Jason told me he's never seen it, so it's been maybe six years or so. I'm pretty sure that's my body saying I can't handle anymore... because that was really the cherry on top! Looking on the brightside, I suppose I can now go as a Leper for Halloween. Ah ha ha. :)

Enemies

As I'm sure many people have, occassionally I have been very hurt by someone I consider a good friend. The first time it happened, I was very troubled by the way I felt towards the person that hurt me and so I did what I normally do when I have a problem: think about how to solve it, think of no solution, pray about it and then realize the answer is surely somewhere in the scriptures. So I did just that and you may not be surprised at one of the scriptures I read (Matthew 5:44) that gave a simple (not easy...) answer. Before I could do good to someone I felt had caused me such hurt, I first had to pray. So pray I did. Fortunately, I leared this lesson when I did and was able to apply it then and in subsequent situations. Today in Sunday School we were discussing one of Paul's messages (Romans 12) about not avenging and I was reflecting on the past (and current) experiences I've had in my life. I am thankful for this knowledge, especially now that I am in the middle of having to currently apply it in my life due to an apparent mix up that I have been involved in (how, I don't know, but I'm trying not to worry about that...).

Anyway, the really neat thing about the process is that as I pray for those who have hurt me (their well-being and if there is anything I know that they are specifically in need of), the feelings of hurt and resentment for what that person did fades away. I feel deep, sincere concern for the people. Then, even more amazing is when I realize I need help and I pray that I will be able to forgive this person and see them as God would. It is a very neat experience and the change of heart toward the individual is so real. Obviously, this doesn't change the person. It could effect them, but they are on their own to change. However, that's when we just have to know that we did our part and are not adding any of our own wrong doings to the problem. We have to trust that God will take care of anything not properly taken care of in this life. In situations where I have done this, I promise it made me happier and made any bad feelings towards the person who hurt me go away. I no longer felt anger towards the person, I hoped the best for them and had peace in my heart towards them. What a blessing the scriptures are in our lives when we liken them to us.

Bubble Wrap & Beavers

During finals week one semester at ASU they were handing out pieces of bubble wrap for students to use to de-stress. I got some and am going to pop every last one of those little bubbles. It works, I swear... I have been feeling great all day! And now onto to something highly disturbing... I've discovered we have a beaver living in our home. When I got Clara out of bed from her nap, I noticed a bunch of scratches on the top of the ledge. As I was looking at them and thinking how bothered I was that our beautiful crib is slowly getting destroyed, I noticed even worse scratches inside the crib. I don't know how I didn't notice this sooner unless it just happened yesterday (when she (the beaver is a girl, I'm sure of it) woke up from her first nap yesterday, she didn't cry, but babbled to herself for a good 20 minutes... so I'm wondering if there was a reason she wasn't crying...). I called Jason hoping he'd understand why I was so distraught and share in my sorrow. All he had to say after he got done laughing was, "Next thing you know, we're going to go in there and there will be a dam."

Finally!

Yesterday I had a good day, a really good day. It's been a while, but alas, a good day has come. I went to meet Erin and Karen (fellow co-workers as well) for lunch. I was all ready to go about 45 minutes too soon so I just took pictures of Clara. It's probably not a good idea to volunteer the blinds to her, but oh well. We ate at First Watch, thanks to Erin's ingenius suggestion. It is very similar to Crackers in Mesa and was very good. Clara's favorite part were the creamers... (sorry Karen, next time it might be you... :)) Who wouldn't love to suck on 1/2 & 1/2?
On my way home, I hit quite the milestone in my car and of course, was well prepared with my camera do document it. My car hit 100,000 miles. That's a lot! I've had my car for over 6 1/2 years and it still runs like a champ. I've never had to fix anything on it except the power windows and doors. Yeah for foreign cars (and people that didn't shoot me when I kept going slower and slower in the fast lane)!
After lunch, I went to the temple. It was a much needed trip and a rewarding experience. Too bad I can't go every day because during times like this, it is the ONLY thing that calms me down completely and not just for a few minutes. I love the peace. I don't forget my problems when I'm at the temple, but I find the peace to be okay with situations and feel comfort knowing everything will be okay.

My mom babysat Clara and had a great time. When I went to get her, I was visiting with my mom and Clara was trying to climb through the rails. She got half her body through and thought she was hilarious. My mom always feels bad if Clara gets dirty at her house so I have decided to start leaving her in onesies that can get filthy... good thing I did it this time! Yesterday I was so grateful for good friends, a reliable car, the temple, my mom and Clara that made my day really wonderful.

Zoo!

Okay, so we didn't actually go to the zoo, but today is Amy's birthday so I had some friends over for lunch. My house isn't very large so it was a little crazy considering how many kids we had there plus the adults. The kids were actually very good for the most part until I decided we needed to put them all on the couch for a picture and someone suggested Amy sat in the middle of them. We didn't get a picture (shocked?) but later had the moms sit in and I think we may have gotten one... but I'll have to wait until someone decides to share pictures with me to show. Everyone brought stuff and helped me so much so it was really nice not to be stressed and it all seemed too easy. Then Amy did ALL the dishes. I felt bad since it was her birthday (I love not doing a thing on my birthday) but she insisted. Adults: Kathryn, Shawna, Suzanne, Kiri, Amy, Anna (me), Jessie, Beka, Cherie and Maren. Babies (all but one were within six months or so of a year, plus or minus): Lucy & Elsa (twins), Jett, Jack, Adalyn, Clara, Landon & Braden (twins), Cailyn, Anna (not me) and Brynlee. Yeah, that's why it was a joke trying to take a picture... but don't worry, we all laughed at the joke! :)


Amy turned 25 (young little buck)... so here are 25 things you may or may not know about the birthday girl:

1. she's blunt 2. her matter-of-fact attitude 3. she's thoughtful 4. she's generous (even when she claims to be broke!) 5. her spotanaity (how many vacations has she gone on in the last few months??) 6. she's fun to visit with 7. she is always willing to hang out 8. we have many MANY memories 9. she's my cousin 10. she can take a joke 11. she's very sensitive to other's situations (yes, I speak on very personal experience here) 12. she always offers to help 13. she wishes she lived in ca 14. when we get together she, by far, always brings the BEST snacks 15. she used to tell me we had to live next door to each other so i could raise her kids... hasn't happened but she's doing a fine job all by herself! 16. she lived with us when they moved here from ca 17. she lived in hawaii 18. she is a good mom 19. she was on the swim team in high school 20. she encouraged me to buy a house when i first got married (i was afraid and she convinced me it wasn't as expensive as I thought) 21. second to ca, she wishes she could live in Snowflake (ha!:)) 22. she likes to help other people 23. she wouldn't be able to afford having a girl 24. she is very caring when she wants to be and 25. she's a good cook eventhough she pretends she isn't. Hopefully she had a very happy birthday!

Garden & Joy

Like I said, I planted our garden last night. A month or so ago I went to a gardening thing with my mom and Angela and they really talked about square foot gardening. We did this method as a family in California, but I never thought about doing it on my own until this meeting. I am convinced it's the way to go! The only problem is it's a little pricey to get started (you make the soil you plant in with equal parts of compost, peat moss and vermiculite, you have to buy your box, you need the weed cloth and of course you need seeds). Anyway, I decided to wait until next season but my mom said I could have her left over dirt. Hooray! The only problem was getting it to my house... lucky for me, they just built a Dippin' Dots by our house and my family decided that's what they'd do for family night Monday and brought my dirt by. All I had to buy was the wood (about $8) and the screws ($5). I had some seeds and my mom gave me EVERYTHING else. How cool is that? The next time around, the only thing I will need is more compost (I'm hoping to start my own soon, so I won't have an expense there) and seeds, which are pretty cheap! I just hope this works out like I imagine.

So yesterday Jason helped me screw the boards together (apparently our drill has a clutch and it wasn't on the right settings... who knew things besides motor vehicles had clutches??). We brought Clara's exersaucer outside and I felt pretty white trash. Mostly because our backyard looks like the desert. Actually, I think it's worse. I wish so bad we had grass. Hopefully someday. As we were laying the weed cloth down, it was so windy, so I was laying on it, trying not to let it blow away and not get weeds on it and Jason was getting the box. Jason didn't seem to be in a hurry and I was getting annoyed because it was killing my knees. My sweet husband was about to get the box and then turned around and walked towards the house and said, "Actually, first I'm going to..." and picked up the camera and took a picture of me. Funny... take a picture of your wife not only looking like a fool, but also in pain... okay, I'll admit, it made me laugh because that's totally something I would have done. We put the dirt in and later after Clara went to bed I planted my little seeds: romaine, spinach, beets, peas, carrots, onions, turnips and radishes. I'm SO excited!

Tonight I was playing with Clara on the floor and I had this total euphoric feeling come over me and it came to my mind that it was a glimpse of JOY. I wasn't just feeling happy, I was filled with joy that came from my sweet baby. How glad I was to experience just a little bit of joy when life seems like it pretty much sucks! And joy is what life is really all about... along with a little laughter, look at her GIANT eyes in this picture!