FOF - Drivers

I was making progress on my road rage, until I drove in rush hour traffic several times this week. In honor of awesome drivers, here are five that are completely to blame for my heightened road rage as of late.

1. Mr. Cut & Slow - I get it. Sometimes, the grass is greener in the other lane. So come on over. But if you're going to cut me off because you think it's your only opportunity to get in the grassy lane, don't slow down after you do it.

2. Mrs. Mergey Pergey - I know it's a little scary merging onto a freeway going 50 mph, but you can do it. Trust me, it will be a lot scarier if you get hit because you decide instead of merging (i.e. speed up/slow down and MERGE into flowing traffic), you'll just go ahead and nearly stop in the lane until there's a gap big enough for you to pull out three times.

3. Mr. Ultra Cautious - In case you're wondering, it's okay to go the posted speed limit UNTIL the speed limit drops. I promise, you won't get a ticket for going the posted speed limit two miles before the speed limit actually changes.

4. Mr. Not Newton - I don't know where you went to school, so maybe you were never privileged to learn about a man we call Newton. I will simplify things for you. If the freeway you're driving on has a hill, you have to press your gas pedal harder in order to maintain your current speed. Otherwise, you'll quickly find yourself driving 10mph slower than you were before.

5. Mr. Mazda Miata Man - Your wee little car might be zippy, but seriously, you're not in a high performance racing vehicle. Regardless of reality, you drive your Miata like you are in an M3, switching back and forth between my lane and the middle lane at least four times in a mile stretch, only to be in the exact same place in the line of traffic where you began. And on top of it, you look like a dork. (Four points in Scattegories, sweet).