Wrapping Up the Week

On Thursday we decided to fancy up our dinner with some Martinelli's (only because my recipe called for apple juice and all I had was a bottle of Martinelli's so we had an open bottle). I love it when simple things bring the biggest smile to Clara's face. She said, "Am I even old enough to use those cups?" Then, as we both picked up our glasses to drink, she said, "Let's touch our glasses together." So we toasted to books and reading since she's learning to read and we went to the library that day for the first time in way too long.

Hazel might not be walking (or have even the slightest desire to walk, might I add), but she sure is funny. Earlier this week I told her to fold her arms for the prayer and she pulled both her hands to her chest. She also learned to say "nack!" for snack and says it when she's hungry. The older she gets without having hair, the more often she's assumed to be a boy. Oh, and if you sing "If you're happy and you know it", she'll clap her hands right on cue. I'm so bummed this picture is blurry, but it still makes me laugh every time I look at it.
Without even realizing it, I have become terribly lazy in my temple attendance. It's hard with a nursing baby, but I felt rather sheepish as I realized in the last few months I've been quick to get a babysitter for work, to play softball or to go out. It's amazing how easily I can get distracted and before I know it, the gap between reality and who I want to be has gotten much too big. Since Jason got home early from work Friday, I opted for an impromptu solo temple trip. Ahhh.
In addition to feeling inspired and uplifted, I also became obsessed with Carl Bloch's Christ and the Young Child painting, which has recently been added to the artwork hanging in the temple. I've been searching for a tall picture to hang above our fireplace and I think this might be it. Looks like I can get one for less than $400, so hopefully Jason starts saving his lunch money and buys it for me for Christmas. (Wa, ha ha.)

In November I found the cutest pj's for Hazel. When I couldn't find a matching 5T for Clara, I about cried. I just decided this week to let Hazel wear hers and about cried again that I didn't ever find a matching one for Clara. Why did something so lame cause me so much grief? Oh, that's right, because the pajamas are so cute.

The weather on Saturday was beautiful. We spent some time outside as a family. I admired my little garden (growing broccoli for the first time {hooray!}, loving our tomato plant from my spring garden that is still flourishing after the summer heat and the winter chill, proud of our giant turnips) and Clara kept track of the oranges she's picked up to earn extra money.

Jason and I went out Saturday night. We had dinner with friends and then played games. I think it's the longest we have left our kids to go out. It was fun, but even if we could afford that regularly, we both agreed we'd rather not. Every now and then, yes, but we like spending lots of time as a family and we have plenty of alone time after the kids go to bed. Clara insisted I post this picture.

2012

2012 is going to be a good year for us. I can just tell.

I changed some bad habits and adopted some good habits in 2011 that I think will stick around. That's my kind of goal, something that changes our lives. Of course it's still important to set other goals too, to keep us on track in some areas.

Pay off Jason's student loan

Continue to de-clutter

Pay off the van loan

Have more fun (continue to relax and ease up a bit)

Buy my camera

Get off my spiritual plateau

Save for Disneyland

Feel good (better sleep habits, better eating, more active)

Be less frumpy

Hooray for new beginnings. A fresh start. A clean canvas. I feel empowered, inspired and motivated to do better and be better.

2011 Recap

2010 wasn't a great year for me. I was determined to make 2011 better and 2011 was better. Much, much better. I felt like I grew so much. I finally became an adult sometime in 2011. Looking back, I'd been living like a lame, cheap college student. It was a bit pathetic, really. Over the past year, I gained some wisdom that helped me relax, trust my Heavenly Father, handle situations better and enjoy life to the fullest. It's hard to explain, but I felt like I went through a personal overhaul in 2011. I liked myself better in 2011 than 2010.

I usually set lots and lots of specific goals every new year and don't achieve most of them. I know it's important to be specific in goal setting, but apparently that doesn't always work for me. Because I'm a perfectionist, if I mess up once, it's hard for me not to give up completely. With that said, I did make one very specific goal in 2011 and that was not to buy clothes for myself unless it was for our family picture. Amazingly, I was able to do this and bought only one top that I wore in our family picture in the beginning of the year.

Aside from that, I decided I wanted my resolutions for 2011 to be things that change habits in my life. Not just things that I do or don't do for a year and then revert back to whatever I was or wasn't doing before the goal. Last year, I decided to procrastinate less. I swear much of my stress could be avoided by this. Did I procrastinate? Of course I did, but it was much, much less. As a result, I felt like my year went smoother and I accomplished more.

Another one of my goals was to relax and enjoy life more. This was really my biggest goal and I am really happy with the changes that resulted. I am a naturally uptight person. Really uptight. Obnoxiously uptight. My decisions have always been 110% based on practicality. I'm not saying being practical is bad, but when it sucks the fun out of life, I think it is. We are meant to enjoy life, not just endure it. For me this meant doing things for fun even if a.) they weren't planned or b.) it was extra money I didn't want to spend. Basically, I tried to be a little more spontaneous and less calculated. Instead of letting money make all my decisions, I decided to live a little. Don't worry, I didn't go crazy. But I did loosen up a little because I realized I'd rather have a few extra memories than a few extra dollars in the bank.

2011 highlights:

dealt with the termite infestation
painted our family room
had our first orange harvest
planted two gardens
went to utah by myself with the girls
"raised" kefir grains
preschool graduation

Clara played soccer (I use the word "played" loosely...)

enjoyed eggs from my mom (I've only bought eggs once in the last 6 months!)
Clara's first swim lessons

Melzer family reunion
staycation
Clara started Discovery Club
California
Hazel learned to pull herself up
purchased our van - first vehicle purchase in our marriage (my first in 10+ years!)
Sold my Civic (that I purchased new 10 1/2 years ago)
Penrod reunion
Jason turned 33
hot air balloon festival (I'll be honest - this wouldn't have made the list if I didn't like this picture so much)
I turned 30
found new rentersUtah again (Emma's baptism)
Clara turned 5
hosted Thanksgiving (and simultaneously decided I LOVE my house)
learned (all by myself) how to curl my hair just the way I like it
Jason passed the PEHazel turned 1

Melzer Siblings

I'm not done talking about my family. I loved being with everyone. I love my family and love claiming them. While we were taking pictures of the siblings I thought about how each of us is so unique, yet we mesh so well together. We will always have something in common, no matter what. We can hang out, talk and laugh no matter what. There is so much love, no matter what.From left to right, youngest to oldest:

Lily (13) - playful, fun

James (16) - friendly, likable

Daniel (22) - quiet, devoted

Steven (24) - thoughtful, tender

Angela (27) - classy, accepting

Me (30)
Ryan (32) - generous, witty

Rachel (34) - talented, go getter

Emily (37) - helpful, peacemaker

PS Hopefully I got everyone's ages right. In my mind, we're all about 10 years younger in real life than we are on paper.

PPS Picture edited by Kathryn.

Sick Babies

Clara and Hazel have been sick. Really sick. I think the last time Clara was this sick was last year when Hazel was born and she had a raging fever for a week. Sunday evening she started crying, saying her ear hurt. I tried some onion juice, which is what worked the only other time she's had an earache, but that didn't help much. I tried garlic oil and that with a hot pack helped get her comfortable enough to sleep. I'm pretty sure her eardrum burst that night because in the morning, the cotton ball had blood on it. Who knew an eardrum can burst so soon after the first indication of pain? On Monday she slept until 10am and felt much better but had a fever in the morning and laid on the couch ALL. DAY. LONG. She was in and out of sleep all day and didn't move much. The only time she left this position was to pick a movie or go to the bathroom. So I think she got up maybe 3 times all day.Tuesday Clara felt much better. Since she'd had a fever the day before, I kept her home from school. Her first miss. At one point during the day, she told me she didn't want to go to all day Kindergarten because she would miss me too much and was on the brink of tears. Apparently sickness makes her softer and makes me want to home school her.

Hazel has a cold that has settled into her lungs. I think they both started with the same thing but for whatever reason, Clara's caused her ear infection. I put some of the onion juice in Hazel's ears on Sunday and she hasn't shown any more signs of an earache. She, however, is a little snot factory and spiked a really high fever Monday night. Fortunately it was gone the next morning and hasn't returned. She slept until 9am on Tuesday. Yes, the day after Clara slept until 10am. They only sleep in together on mornings I have to pick up the preschool carpool. Remember? I loved every second that Hazel laid on my chest because I'm pretty sure the time she's done that these past two days amounts to more time than her last year of life that she's laid on me.
Obviously I want my kids to be healthy, but I sure did get a lot done these past few days with them sleeping so much. Plus it was a good reminder that I am so grateful I get to be home with my kids. On Monday I sat on the couch next to Clara most of the day, working on my computer, happy I was the one comforting her and waiting on her hand and foot. I could reach over and rub her foot whenever I wanted. I gave her hugs and kisses. And I was there to hear her say, "Mom, I love you so much. And I love Hazel and Dad so much too. I love our family so much."

Love Is A Riddle

Marriage isn't always bliss. But I'm a firm believer that it certainly can and should be happy, enjoyable and fulfilling at least most of the time. If it's not, something needs fixing. Sometimes I find myself wishing Jason did "this" or was like "that". Don't worry, I always come to my senses and smile contently. Forget that he doesn't do "that" and will never do "this", I can't imagine a companion more suitable for my personality than him. I'm amazed at how well he compliments me. My biggest weaknesses are his biggest strengths. Not only does that help balance me out, but I learn so much from him. We are synergy at its finest.

Some of the things that make him extra special to me: helps with the kids without complaining, is capable and willing to step in when I am gone, can handle bed time, bath time, meal time, etc., without me, good athlete, isn't too manly to sweep, do dishes, do laundry, etc., loves our mini van, laughs hysterically at the same parts of movies over and over and over, encourages me to spend money, let's me boss him around when I'm frantically trying to tackle one of my crazy ideas, never gets mad at me for making mistakes, rubs my feet, laughs with me, let's me walk all over him but isn't afraid to put his foot down, has never made me feel bad when the house is a disaster and/or dinner isn't ready when he gets home from work, forgives and forgets my outbursts, does things I want him to do even if he doesn't enjoy them and keeps my high strung personality in check.

On Christmas he sat with the girls by himself for all of church while I sang in the choir. I sat and watched him handle things flawlessly and thought, That makes me want him. In that moment I realized I couldn't ask for anything more. I don't have a perfect husband, but I am grateful that he has the qualities that are of highest importance to me. I'm grateful that he wants me to be home with our children and be the nurturer and the homemaker, but that he's able to step into either of my roles when necessary. I'm grateful that he's willing to be outside his comfort zone for me. I'm grateful that he's patient and stubborn and easy going and opinionated all at once. In the last 8 years there's been some struggling, dealing with life's misfortunes and times where it seemed easier to give up. This year, however, was different. I felt like we grew closer than ever and figured out how to actually resolve things, not just get over them. Over the last year, our foundation wasn't just maintained, but it was fortified and built upon. It feels good and I'm pretty sure life together is only going to get better.

Happy 8 years to us!

Impulse Buys & My Engineer

Technically speaking, in order to be a full fledged Engineer, you first have to pass the 'FE' (Fundamentals of Engineering) to become an 'EIT' (Engineer in Training), then you have to have a certain amount of experience and finally, pass the Professional Engineer test. Jason passed the FE on his first try, right before he graduated from ASU. The PE, however, not so much. It's an 8 hour test that is only offered twice a year. If you don't pass, you have to wait six months to try again. Jason has been working for the same Civil Engineering firm for about 10 years and could work circles around most of the guys he took the test with. In practice, engineering comes naturally to him. But we all know our career performance is no way an indication of our ability to take a test. Jason took the exam again last October for the fifth time and we found out the week before Christmas (yes, you have to wait two months for the results) that he passed. We were both elated! Seriously, ELATED. I just wanted to hug him and squeeze him and kiss him and scream. I did all of the above. The excitement still hasn't worn off. In addition to the obvious reason we're excited - more career opportunities - there are other reasons too:

• It's not cheap! Neither are all the books!
• It used up so much time. He would spend so much time studying - hours and hours and hours for months before the test (I tease him that this route was way better since he got to learn way more by studying for it five times than people that only got to study once)
• He always took time off to study, which limited the vacation time he had available to spend with us.

I think it was on the second test that I tried bribery and told him, "If you pass the test, I'll buy you a TV." When we found out he passed, I remembered that and thought I'd buy him a TV. I did some research, found a TV I liked that wasn't too expensive and thought of how to surprise him. I showed him the TV online and told him I bought it (he knew I'd never do it, so that was a safe way to see his reaction) and he told me if he couldn't have the 70" TV he wanted, he didn't want one. Never mind a 70" TV would never fit and never mind I was not about to pay $3k for his dream TV. My cheapness teamed up with my resentment to has attitude and I thought, Good! I'll save my money if he's going to act like that. This was easy since we all know how much I like to save money.

The day after Christmas, Rachel and I went to the grocery store. Realizing I should have just gone to Costco to buy what I needed, we headed to Costco. I showed Rachel the TV (which I had decided not to buy because I just couldn't talk myself into spending that money when we have loans to pay off). I told her she had 10 minutes to talk me into buying it. And 10 minutes later, I bought the TV. I figured he could return it if he didn't like it (ha ha). I wasn't even planning on going to Costco that day. When we got home, I went inside and told Jason there was a bunch of stuff in the back of my car. He was obviously very, very surprised when he went to the car and saw a TV. He came in carrying it on one shoulder. All day he'd look at the box and say, "I can't believe you did that." Yeah, me neither, but it sure was fun!

My Clara

My little Clara is awesome. I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say she makes life fun. Every single day she makes me laugh and smile and I attribute my loosening up in the last year or so to her. She is just vibrant, fun and a welcome overdose of happiness.For her birthday, she received a gift card to Target. She absolutely LOVED it and we got to go shopping, just the two of us. We looked up and down the aisles. I explained tax, that she could get one big thing or two small things, that if she found something on sale she'd have more money to spend on something else, etc. In my opinion, she made a very wise decision. When we got to the register, she told me to go away because she didn't need my help. Obviously. I took a step back and took pictures as I smiled. I love her independence, courage and confidence.She also got a Polly Pocket set for her birthday that contained a silver helmet. Clara decided there was a better use for the helmet and became Rudolph the silver nosed reindeer for a week following her party. I love her creativity, imagination and spunk.Emptying the dishwasher is no longer one of Clara's jobs, but a few weeks ago she did it as a service to me. She plays while she works so everything takes her so long, but she has so much fun. On that particular day, she decided the strainer was the perfect guitar/banjo, so she rocked out in the kitchen. Put one dish away, rock out. Put another dish away, rock out. Yes, I believe tutus help you work and rock better. I love that she likes to serve others, doesn't usually complain about work and always has time to smell the roses... or play the guitar.I thought by now, she is FIVE, you know, my desire to hug, kiss and squeeze on this girl would start to diminish. Instead, the love and admiration I have for her have only increased over the years. It's such a pleasure being the mom of this beautiful little girl and I thank God for her every single day.

December Leftovers

The two reasons I stressed about having a 4 year gap between my kids was 1.) worrying it would limit our family and 2.) worrying Clara and Hazel wouldn't be close. The second reason is precisely why I drop everything and sit and watch when Clara and Hazel play together. Clara loves to play with Hazel, she loves to make her happy, share her toys with her and loves to keep an eye on her while I do things. She is very protective of her, loves to include her and is very protective of her. Of course Hazel loves it too.Early in December, we woke up to some crazy fog. California is always foggy, but Arizona is never like this. It cut visibility really low.Both my kids LOVE bath time. I am so glad they like it and always have.We finally harvested our big watermelon. It was easily twice the size of the other two we had. We were so excited to cut into it and were surprised to see it mostly white. Whoops!Amy had a brunch for my birthday. We overstayed our welcome and laughed at the overabundance of girls present.
Here's all my unposted posts from December...

12.9.2011 - Thoughts For A Rainy Day

It is cold and wet and cloudy here in Arizona and I love it. Here's a few thoughts that have been accumulating in my head lately.

Trying to stick to my Christmas budget stresses me out. I've never been able to do it so this year, I decided to forget the budget! Hooray! It's been great. I just buy what I want for people and feel real good about myself. I am still practical and simple for the most part, so I'm probably spending about what I would had I created a budget, I just don't have the stress.

I was super lazy and a little sick all last week. I couldn't get motivated to do anything, unless it was laying in my bed and drinking hot chocolate. Every time I would sit down to work, I'd get totally overwhelmed. My body felt heavy, my eyes got droopy and thoughts of laying down for a nap made it difficult to focus on work that started to pile up. Forget about things that required physical activity. I ended the week very ready to be healthy so I could work and clean and organize and get ready for the mass chaos that's going to unfold over the next few weeks.

I am happy to report, I feel like I've been more productive today than all of last week combined. I woke up at 6:30am (which, by the way, is very early for me) and was able to read my scriptures and work for a while before my girls woke up. I went to the cake store in Phoenix, exercised, played, read to Clara, folded and put away several loads of laundry, worked some more, washed another load of laundry... Waking up early doesn't just help me get stuff done before the kids wake up, for some reason it seems like I accomplish so much more during the rest of the day too.

My two least favorite parts of the day are getting out of bed and getting out of the shower. My aversion to both of these increases as the temperature decreases. It hasn't been above 70* in our house all week, perhaps there is some correlation with this and my sudden bout of extreme laziness.

Clara and I have had a few awesome Christmas-related conversations...

C: Mom, is Rudolph real?

A: What do you think?
C: Yeah, he guides Santa's sleigh. Hey, I think I know how Santa gets into our chimney.

A: How?

C: Maybe his magic helps him shrink really small and then he can fit inside.

C: Bobbi is going to have a Jesus party.

A: Really?
C: Yes, she's even going to have a Jesus cake.

(I'm really hoping to have a conversation with Bobbi's mom in the future to nail down the inspiration for this conversation.)

My personal favorite:

C: Rudolph isn't real.

A: Really? How do you know?

C: Because nothing has a light that can blink.

A: Is that what you think?

C: Yes. I'm gonna ask Santa about it.

A: (HAAAAAAAAAAAA - A lit up nose is less believable than a magical fat man that goes into the home of every single child in the entire world in one night!!)

12.21.2011 - Limp, Heavy Arm

It's cold and we don't turn our heater on. Our house doesn't get too cold, but at night there is nothing more warming than snuggling up to Jason's hot body. (His body is literally hot... somehow we were given completely opposite heating/cooling systems.) The other night I snuggled into position and he wrapped his long, strong arm around me. About 10 seconds later, he was sound asleep and I just laid there holding that heavy, limp arm and thought about what it means. It's warmth, protection, love and companionship. Once I felt emotionally content and nice and warm(about 3 minutes later), I unsnuggled from Jason and laid on my back. For the record, us Melzer women are all the same, we don't really like to be touching anyone while we sleep.

12.22.2011 - Try, try, try

12.25.2011 - Christmas Miracles
Jason helped himself to seconds of the green smoothie I made. Better yet, I added extra spinach thinking he'd complain regardless of the amount I put.

Our house was 95% clean before Rachel and her family arrived Saturday afternoon. It's the cleanest it's been since we moved in. Happy day.

I got to enjoy two Christmas programs kid free. I sang in our Ward choir and Jason stayed home with Hazel while Clara and I went with to my parent's Ward. So yes, I had Clara, but with Grandpa, Grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins, she had plenty of entertainment.

My family was all together for the first time in 5 years. 2 parents, 9 siblings, 5 in-laws and 12 1/2 grandchildren.

'twas the week after Christmas

The week after Christmas wore me out, in a very lovely way.

Here's what we were doing in addition to hanging out at my mom's for long portions of the day to visit and play with family:

Monday
:: Made the biggest impulse buy of my life (just needed a little encouragement from Rachel!)
:: Family pictures

:: Dinner with 26/28 family members at Blue Adobe Grill

:: Hazel's birthday (and party)

Tuesday
:: Visit with sisters
:: Ah-SO with the married siblings in town and mom and dad (Jason stayed home with the kids)
:: Sherlock Holmes with Kathryn, Angela & Clint, Don & Rachel and Jason

Wednesday
:: Say bye to Don, Daniel & Steven
:: Try out Cafe Mix with Rachel
:: Get ready for and host get together with high school friends
:: Sleepover at Grandma's for grandkids

Thursday
:: Laid in bed with my computer while Hazel napped since Clara was gone
:: Target for Clara to use her "credit card" (aka Target gift card)
:: Midnight in Paris with Jason and Rachel

Friday
:: Drive to North Phoenix so my dad could take his ladies out to lunch
:: Drive to Summit at South Mountain (I can't believe I've never been up there)
Saturday
:: Scottsdale Train Park
:: LGO with Angela, Clint and Rachel
:: New Year's Eve party at Ryan and Kathryn's (where someone {who invited the tiger?} was really, really excited about the firework going off)
Jason had the entire week off. When we weren't doing something with our family, he watched the kids, cleaned the house and let me run wild with my sisters. It was so nice going out to eat and being able to visit, going to my mom's while Hazel got to stay home to get a much needed nap and staying late to visit while he took the kids home and put them to bed. Isn't he great?