Right On Track

I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant with Clara. I set a goal not to let this pregnancy be a repeat. I didn't have a problem losing the weight after she was born, but I think gaining less would have helped me have a healthier pregnancy, delivery and recovery. Plus, I'm pretty sure all the extra weight on my body for those months contributed to my feeling like I'd been run over by a car every day I woke up for four months after she was born.

Today I went to my check up and apparently, I'm right on track to gain as much as I did with Clara. Booo. My doctor isn't the least bit concerned, but it bugs me. I eat healthy, I really do. Just ask Jason, he'd probably contend that we eat too healthy at our house. Whole grains, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, drink lots of (and usually only) water, little meat, etc. I also don't eat much more than I do when I'm not pregnant. But somehow, I still gain lots and lots of weight. Everywhere. Right away my entire body, not just my belly, starts getting bigger. I think the only thing left to explain this is the amount of sugar I eat. I eat lots of sugar. On the way home from the doctor, I was explaining to Clara that I am going to try to eat less sugar. (I've tried this before and it is SO SO SO hard for me... I have little will power if sugar is involved). Of course Clara wanted to know why I was going to eat less sugar so I explained that sugar can make the baby get too big and make me get too fat.

To that Clara said, "But you're already fat!"

For some reason, comments like that are just funny when they come from sweet little faces like this.Yes, I agreed, but I told her it would make me fatter.

With perfect 3 year old tact, she said, "But you are already fatter."

Awesome.

Perhaps that is why my feet look so itty bitty when I look down.Okay, here's a more accurate depiction of what my 5 month/23 belly looks like. Actually, this picture makes it look smaller than in real life, but don't think that was by accident. :)
{I'm well on track to eat less sugar... I ate three Oreos while typing this post... Yay for me.}

Packed Weekend, Packed Post but not Packed

This is a post about a weekend packed full of activities. Of course I haven't started packing yet. Seems as though following my intuition to hold off on such a task is working out nicely. There's been a hiccup with our loan and things may be delayed (but hopefully not cancelled). I'm really beginning to think I have a curse, one that prevents me from having any real estate related situation to go smoothly. I'm sure my realtor wondered why our conversation made me laugh, especially considering the money we could lose. Little does he know... The stress level doesn't compare to a few years ago and the money is pennies in relation to last time our luck went sour with real estate.

Back to the weekend.

After getting to bed much later than planned Friday night, I woke up and this is how my Saturday went...
- Leave for work 2 hours later than planned
- Stop for gas
- Notice my tire is low, so I check it and the pressure is only 10psi (should be 30psi)
- Try to put air in tire, but the air pump is missing a piece
- Drive to another gas station to fill tire
- Work twice as long as planned and still don't finish
- Leave work ten to one, not a big deal, BUT...
- Need to be in Snowflake at 4pm for a baptism, not a huge deal if we are a few minutes late, BUT...
- Jason was giving a talk (do you know I work 35 minutes away from my house??)
- Make it home super fast (does anyone else believe the Sheriff that sped past me and "let" me follow him at 80mph the last half of the drive was a tender mercy?)
- Leave for Snowflake at 1:35pm
- Make it to the baptism (despite having to stop for gas) at 4:05pm and they hadn't started
- Breathe a sigh of relief (too soon)
- After Clara uses the rest room (I let her go in the stall for the first time alone to save time) we go sit down and she says she just wants to stand
- I check her panties because in the bathroom she had told me she got a little potty on them; panties are soaking (my attempt to save time didn't work out so well)
- Out to the car to change her undies
- Back inside to the baptism
- Then I was able to relax, ahhh

After the baptism (I didn't take a single picture at the baptism; I was way too preoccupied eating brownies), we went out to eat with Jason's family. Then we spent our evening outside feeding horses and visiting around a fire at his parent's house. Long after bed time, we went to Michelle's to go to bed. The highlight of my trip was staying up until almost 4am chatting with Michelle (waking up after staying up that late was not a highlight). Someday Michelle might just start charging me for these all night therapy sessions. Until then, she sure saves me a lot of money! Sunday was church, visiting, power naps, playing in the grass and then driving home. I'm glad it was much less eventful and much more peaceful than Saturday. Just the way Sunday should be.

Aunt Lacy teaching Clara table manners
Like mother like daughter

We met Clara's littlest Penrod cousin, Adalyn, for the first time

Clara's headband might not have matched her dress, but it matched mine :)

I love this tree, just look at the shape of it

Friday Night Lights

After work on Friday, Jason, Clara and I went to the Diamondback's game with Landry and Keirsten. I'm sure it was only because I had to work early in the morning that it was an insanely long game, complete with extra innings. We wanted to stay for the fireworks after the game, otherwise I'm not sure the five of us would've sat through the entire three hour and 22 minute game. I must admit, the last few innings made for a pretty exciting game. {Clara eyeing the cotton candy of the girl behind us paid off; the little girl noticed and kindly offered her some. Then her sugar rush assisted her in making her eyes look crazed.}

{We moved to higher ground after the 8th inning to get in position for the fireworks. I was sure grateful I had my camera to play with since the game didn't end after the 9th.}

By the time we enjoyed fireworks, picked up our cars at my mom's and drove home, it was after 11:00pm. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal, except Clara was with us and I had to work in the morning. Even still, it was a fun night and I'm glad we got to go.

The Worst Part

The worst part about finishing a good book*, no matter how good the story and ending, is that it's finished. All done. Over. No more quick and easy escape from reality. No more story to get lost in. Which means I have to use more energy to divert my thoughts away from parts of my reality that bring feelings quite opposite of an element of happiness others enjoy and books remind me of. Good thing I have Clara around to frequently interrupt these thoughts. Even the best book can't make me laugh as much as she does. Just in case you're a skeptic like I am, here's a little proof:

Last week we drove past a funeral. She asked me why all the cars were there and I told her it was for a funeral. She asked me if someone got married. I explained the difference between a funeral and a reception and a few hours later at my mom's I overheard her telling Lily we saw a reception because someone died. Someday she'll get the two straightened out.

Yesterday I was pulled out of Sunday School because Clara had a melt down in Primary (first time, thank goodness). By the time I go there, she was fine, but I pulled her aside to talk it over anyway. I asked her what was going on and she told me that her friends were being disobedient and so she was telling them to be obedient and got in trouble for talking. At least she is honest when she gets in trouble. If only she was more concerned with her obedience and not others...

Last night we were driving home from R&K's and she was looking at the Pottery Barn catalog she snatched from Kathryn. She announced, "I'm going to sing a song about making couches" and proceeded to sing a song about making couches, and chairs and tables and 800 pillows on the couch.

This morning she was coloring and I told her to make sure to keep her crayons away from the couch. Her little table is about 8 inches from the couch so when she turned around with a crayon in her hand, it brushed up against the couch. She felt bad instantly and told me she would clean it off with water. I told her water wouldn't get it off and really, I didn't know anything that would. Thinking quick she replied, "Did you know, sometimes princesses have magic soap that can get it off? I will go get some."
*I finally read Daughter of the Forest. I really enjoyed it, although there was one particular death that bothered me. Have you ever decided in a movie/book that if so-and-so dies, you won't like it regardless of everything else? I do it all the time and this time, one so-and-so did die. But I guess even fairy tales have to trigger different emotions, right?

For the Beauty of the Earth

For me there is definitely something spiritual about being in nature. Being so close to the natural state of things as they were created for this earth makes me feel close to my Heavenly Father. This is one reason I love the outdoors. One thing I love doing in the mountains is observing nature, particularly the vegetation. I found a few extra special flowers this year. My right-brained sisters will be so proud that I grouped my finds by color.I love those little brown toadstools. Since my picture has the pine needles in focus and not the mushroom, it's easy to see just how small they were.

My favorite flower of all was that pink one in the bottom center. It was tiny, and most anything tiny is cute. But the detail on it, the green center and the buds that were itty bitty balls made this one extra special.

Denial

I'm pretty sure we're moving in the next month or so. I've known for a little while and even though we're pretty close to having everything finalized for our new house, I'm still in denial that it will work out. I do this often. It might seem a pessimistic way to live, but at least I have identified why I approach certain situations with this attitude. If I "fail" at something, I have very little hope that I will find success the next time around. Sorry, it's ingrained in me that life is perfection or failure, there is no middle ground for me. Others, yes. Me, no. It's a sorry way to live and currently I'm working on it. After disappointment from "failure" I barricade my emotions to protect myself from experiencing the same exhausting emotions should things go wrong again.


Anyway, this is the third major {exciting} thing that has happened in my life that I waited and waited to emotionally acknowledge because my fear of failure based on previous experience. I waited to be excited about meeting Jason, I waited to be excited about this pregnancy and now I've waited to be excited about the opportunity to move into a bigger home.


My emotions are still reserved, but that doesn't mean I can sit around until it's a done deal. I've got to start packing, get rid of stuff, make To Do lists for both homes, clean both homes and find a renter for this house (anyone, anyone?). Now that I think about it, with that list of things to do, I'd probably be too exhausted to be excited anyway. I guess my emotional issues aren't really getting in the way after all. :)

The Bathroom

I've seen heat lamps in bathrooms before. I think they are a great idea, considering I'm a big fat wimp when it comes to cooler temperatures (cooler meaning anything below 80*). But the red glow generated by these three round heat lights embedded in a circular base created a bathroom atmosphere that was radical (I only got a picture of the glowing lights, not the actual lights themselves, darn). Combine that with the blue tile and you have a lovely purpley bathroom. Or maybe just a really great explanation for those people that have the hallucinations of being abducted by aliens.

Mousetrap

This story regards one of the funniest moment during our trip. I must warn, however, that it could easily be one of those "had to be there" events. Just try, to imagine how it'd feel to be there.

Emily opened a cupboard in search of extra toilet paper and all she found was a dead mouse. The menfolk removed it and I laughed and said, "Where there's one, there's a ton!" Later that night, sitting where the bathroom was in my direct line of sight, I saw a mouse run out of a hole into the bathroom. Within minutes, Jason devised a plan to rid the bathroom of that little mouse. He would stay in the shower with his cardboard to cover the hole. Justin and Micah would shut the door once they saw it run out of the hole so it wouldn't scamper away. Then Jason would take care of the rodent.

They sat and waited and eventually, our conversation lit up again and we were visiting, laughing and mostly forgot about the mouse and the three hunters... Until we heard the door slam and heard Jason rustling around in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he emerged, panting and holding the broken broom. We all started cracking up laughing and were glad at least that mouse wouldn't be bothering us anymore.

4 Months of Complaining

Aren't you glad I waited four months to announce this pregnancy? Now instead of complaining to you during that time, you get it all now so you only have to read it once. I know, I'm so nice. I got asked, as pregnant women do, if I was sick more than anything else. I hesitantly responded because I wasn't exactly sure what was meant with the word "sick". Was I throwing up? No. (Well, I did throw up for the first time a few weeks ago and in my second trimester. Who does that?) But I certainly felt a little like dying and a little like I never wanted to be pregnant ever again for three and a half months. However, it wasn't just being pregnant. For those three plus months, I was totally exhausted and felt disgusting. To complicate the situation, I was working about twice as much as normal trying to meet a deadline and Jason was working so much we would see him Sunday night and then wouldn't see him until Thursday night or Friday morning. So on top of feeling sick, exhausted, being at work more than normal and then up late at night more frequently than usual, I also felt like a single mom. All of the budgeting, bills, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, parenting, etc., etc., became my responsibility. I didn't know how much longer I could hold up with that type of schedule. But I lived. Obviously.

Now that I'm feeling better and work schedules have returned to normal, life seems much more manageable. Also during my "sick" time, I found out that adequate sleep and not having to wake up and rush out the door (like I did every morning I was pregnant with Clara) really helped with my nausea. I could lay around if I didn't feel good and since Friday is usually the only day I go in early, I'd make sure to get to bed early Thursday night. Of course during my busy spell at work, this wasn't possible, but when it was, I noticed a difference. Up until a few weeks ago, it was really easy to hide my stomach. Now I think it's getting revenge for me squeezing it into skirts and jeans for so long because I can't button hardly anything. Gaining weight makes me feel claustrophobic and I think trying to wear my normal clothes is making it worse. Don't judge if I'm wearing the same shorts every time you see me, I've got a limited wardrobe right now. I'm convinced I gain weight easier when I'm pregnant than most people. I eat pretty healthy, don't eat a whole lot more than normal and somehow I gain weight way faster than I am supposed to. Maybe by baby #3 I'll figure out how to gain weight normally like other pregnant people (see, I already forgot that I felt like dying not too long ago). And now I'm done complaining. Until my feet swell up like elephant feet and I can't get up off the couch.

Hello, Vacation

Our Melzer family reunion was at Hawley Lake. We booked the same cabin we stayed in two years ago, but Kathryn found out the week prior to departure that they had double-booked the cabin. Awesome. We ended up getting two cabins next to each other and it wasn't so bad (although I didn't have to haul my stuff back and forth between cabins like those that stayed in the small one, so maybe we should ask them). This cabin definitely had more living area and more couches, which made our late night chats comfy. Those five days define a true vacation in my eyes. Relaxation, no schedule to adhere to, family all around, beautiful weather and just plain enjoyment. One myth I continue to forget is a vacation like this will mean lots of time with Clara. She played so much with her cousins that I spent far less time with her than I do during a normal five days at home. At least I know she had a good time. It rained every day we were there. Thunder, lightning and rain in the mountains is one of my favorite combinations. Here are some of my favorite pictures.

Matchy-matchy

I love this kid. Of the four grandchildren born in 2006, Lucas is the only boy. My favorite one liner from him during the trip? "If you don't know how to read, you're going to DIE!"

Babies make everyone smile in pictures; it's fantastic.

I'm looking forward to the day I can teach Clara not to force this smile for every picture.

Oh look! Jason did go on the trip with us. Everyone just kind of forgot he was there since he spent 90% of his time fishing.

Silly Clara, scruffy Grandpa

This week I hope to post the pictures that have stories/thoughts attached.