Denial

I'm pretty sure we're moving in the next month or so. I've known for a little while and even though we're pretty close to having everything finalized for our new house, I'm still in denial that it will work out. I do this often. It might seem a pessimistic way to live, but at least I have identified why I approach certain situations with this attitude. If I "fail" at something, I have very little hope that I will find success the next time around. Sorry, it's ingrained in me that life is perfection or failure, there is no middle ground for me. Others, yes. Me, no. It's a sorry way to live and currently I'm working on it. After disappointment from "failure" I barricade my emotions to protect myself from experiencing the same exhausting emotions should things go wrong again.


Anyway, this is the third major {exciting} thing that has happened in my life that I waited and waited to emotionally acknowledge because my fear of failure based on previous experience. I waited to be excited about meeting Jason, I waited to be excited about this pregnancy and now I've waited to be excited about the opportunity to move into a bigger home.


My emotions are still reserved, but that doesn't mean I can sit around until it's a done deal. I've got to start packing, get rid of stuff, make To Do lists for both homes, clean both homes and find a renter for this house (anyone, anyone?). Now that I think about it, with that list of things to do, I'd probably be too exhausted to be excited anyway. I guess my emotional issues aren't really getting in the way after all. :)