These Days

Ah, relief. I was able to get my client's urgent tax issue under control. It's still there, but no one is freaking out anymore. As much as I'd like to take credit for it, however, I must give credit where credit is due. Occasionally, or maybe frequently, I have these days where I wake up sick to my stomach and with a headache over the issues I have to resolve and the amount of things I have to attend to, both work and personal. Those mornings I can't afford to miss my prayers and ask (beg!) for help. Help to be able to stay focused, to get the things done I need to and for my clients to be understanding and not get upset at me (I hate upsetting people). And lo and behold, it works. Every time. Things always work out and mini-miracles happen in my little life. Today was no exception and I am quite grateful for the Lord's help in my daily life, especially on days like today.


I'm not feeling 100%, but I'm definitely better than last night. Almost anything is better than last night. I was thinking it's good for me to get sick every now and then. I am a pretty healthy person (okay, the last year isn't good substantiation for this claim because I've been more stressed the last year than ever before, which has killed my immune system). But when I get sick, I realize how much I depend on my good health. My whirlwind life doesn't easily allow for sick days. So when I start feeling better, I feel so good relative to when I was sick, that even if I'm not 100%, I can do so much on my 75% health.


The weekend in pictures...
Saturday night we went to Daryle and Lisa's in Queen Creek. Clara loved Travis (as long as he wasn't roaring, lol) and Travis loved Clara. Before dinner, they sat in this chair together forever, ate a snack and watched TV.Sunday we had dinner at my parent's. There was all sorts of craziness.

Acting like robots Best jowl ever
Giant books and Grandma
Mini popsicles
Labeling food (I believe Clint said, "There was a label maker on the table, what did you expect?")
Loving Dad

Heavy Head

Somewhere between the common cold and the flu, there is a sickness I would like to deem "heavy head". It sounds funny, but really, I doubt there is a title more accurate, unless of course "blah" would suffice. Sunday night Jason and I weren't feeling so great, but I figured my slight sore throat might be a result of lack of sleep. Not so, I woke up feeling worse on Monday, but okay to go to my morning meeting. And then things went downhill from there. Driving home from my mom's I felt like I had so little energy I could barely hold my head up. By the time I got home, I had a throbbing headache, every time I stood up my head would throb and felt like it was going to explode and my nose was running. And I just felt "ick". I laid down for a little bit but after being woken up 15 minutes later, couldn't go back to sleep, but I couldn't really do anything else. After I put Clara to bed I also felt nauseous, which I don't know if it was because my head hurt so bad or if it was the heavy head bug, and every one of my joints and limbs ached so bad. I was going to try to get something done for a client, but after falling asleep at 10 and waking up at 11pm and feeling so horrible, I decided no one would die if I took an extra day to do it. People might get mad, but I couldn't help that I was sick. It also didn't help that I got SIX voicemail on my work phone yesterday. That's more than I normally get in a week. Obviously I know what I will be doing today. Also, I don't ever really take medicine but I figured I'd take an Advil to help my headache and my achy body. I told Jason I felt like a drug addict. After all, it was my second Advil in the last 4-6 weeks. :)

As bad as I feel, I feel worse for Jason. His head is totally congested and he's gotten hardly any sleep the last few nights because of homework and work. He always tells me he'd rather throw up than be stuffed up. Plus, he has to be at work at a certain time, he can't lay down while he works and he can't put off homework like I can put off work. But he still rubbed my head for me for a little bit to help me relax (when I'd get my stress headaches from school when we were dating, he'd always rub my head for me). How sweet. We'll anxiously be awaiting this weekend so we can catch up on sleep and life, hopefully while in good health. And I'll anxiously be awaiting this day to end, hoping I can resolve my client's problems. :)

Some of the Padres in my Life

I have a rather cool father that I love so much. Although his username is "ogre", he is a softy, especially when it comes to his girls. I have fun memories with my dad, many of them as a teenager telling him all about the boys in my life or working with him. I was never afraid to talk to him and we'd just talk like friends. There were times I didn't think he really cared who I was with, but one night, I got home past my curfew and he was gone, looking for me (woops :)). My dad is totally funny and incredibly smart. The other day he was looking something up on Wikipedia and I asked him what you get when you cross Bill with Wikipedia. Obviously, the answer: answers to anything and everything. I attribute much of my desire to get an education to him because he always made it seem like it was expected. It was never a matter of was I going to college, it was where. He believed in me and knowing how he saw me helped me strive for more than I would have without his influence. And to top it off, look at his awesome fashion sense! [My blessing day, 1981]

I also have to say Happy Father's Day to Jason's dad. To him I am very grateful for teaching Jason the importance of honoring the Priesthood, how to respect women and the value of hard work. Obviously he deserves some credit for raising such a wonderful person for me to marry. Not to mention he's such a loving grandpa.

Finally, a note to Jason, the best looking father of the fathers I recognize on this day. It always seemed Jason would be a good dad. I knew he wanted a big family. And then we started spending time around various newborns and he wanted nothing to do with them. Oh great, I thought, he'll be one of those dads who isn't real interested in his kids for the first 8 years of their life. Then Clara was born. Here's the first time Jason held her. I believe their bond was more instant than her's and mine. He would just hold her and rock her in the hospital and my nurse would always comment on it. Clara was always so good when daddy had her. Jason wasn't around much the first year because of school and I could tell he hated it when Clara treated him like a stranger. It didn't mean he couldn't get her to laugh and smile after a little effort, though.But the last six months, Jason has made an extra effort to be home more when she's awake. Clara gets so excited when she hears Jason come home (as do I!) and she loves to play with him. I am so grateful for how hard Jason has worked for our family. I know it's not easy for him not being around much and not being able to help, but he knows in the end, it will be worth it. We are really looking forward to being able to spend more time as a family. Lack of time hasn't kept him from teaching Clara how to fish.

[Jason's two favorite things in life: fishing & Clara]

Trying to get a picture today, this is how Clara was smiling. I kept asking her to smile and she would try so hard to get her face to look like this...

Happy Father's Day, honey. Thanks for trying to make me laugh during good and bad times (sometimes I'm really stubborn), for giving me the cutest baby in the world (Jason always told me if I wanted the cutest kids, to marry him, so humble), for working so hard and for being the best daddy for Clara. We love you.

Lots of Hair

I realized I managed to accumulate several "hair" pictures on my camera, which I think are kind of cool. Here's the history of each:

I believe someone took my camera at my mom's to test out the macro function. This is most likely Ryan's hairy leg. Part of it is extremely focused and part of it is blury. I'm not sure that was the intent.

This picture I took intentionally to express my thoughts towards my hair. On the days I do my hair, the left side works with me and the right side does not. And then by the time I leave the house it looks nothing like it did when I finished. I've always had an issue with my hair, but let it be known that for about 30 minutes on the days I do my hair, one half of my hair looks good (in my opinion).

One morning Clara woke up with this awesome hairdo. She has very little hair so bedhead for her is picture worthy, especially when it resembles a troll. I love the contrast between her soft, smooth silky hair on the side and the frizzy, gnarly hair sticking up.

Just the other night, Jason was asking what the macro setting on a camera is used for. So I turned it on, took a picture of his scruff and showed him it was to be able to see every little detail, which you can in this picture.

FOF

Every Friday I think, I'm going to work late tonight and get all caught up. Then Friday night comes and working is the last thing I am interested in. Being lazy sounds much more appealing after an exhausting week.

Five things that made Clara happy this week:
1. The spray bottle2. Stirring her dinner around and transferring it back and forth from plate/bowl/plate/bowl using the fork and spoon. I'm pretty sure she did this for at least 30 minutes.3. The spray bottle
4. Lots of necklaces5. The spray bottle

Five things that made me happy this week:

1. Cookies. I love cookies.2. Fishy crackers and chocolate chips. It sounds gross, but this is often my snack of choice when I know I'm going to be up most of the night working. There's something about the contrast in the taste of chocolate and cheese.3. Getting my "pantry" organized so more food could fit. Don't worry, I only have that one little shelf of treats. The other side is all business. 4. The cake I made Jason at Enrichment. It's a blue dinosaur, what's not happy about that? :)5. My broom. There was a time when I couldn't stand sweeping because I never felt like I could get it perfect. Well now, even if I just get 75% of the biggest chunks, it makes a HUGE difference and suddenly sweeping isn't all that bad!

Oh What Do We Do In the Summertime...

Or should I say, what do we attempt to do in the Summertime? The closest theater to us has a "Summer Movie Program" like many (or maybe all) of the other theaters. Except this one is special. It is free. That's right, FREE. Clara's never been to a movie because who wants to pay for two tickets not knowing how much of the movie you'll actually get to see? I decided I'd be a fun mom and take Clara to the movie. We met Shawna and Jett there a little after Noon for the Noon-thirty movie. It was full. Apparently you have to show up 45 minutes early to get in. Next time. I was so anxious to see how Clara was in the movie so I was pretty bummed. She, on the other hand, was quite content playing on the video games with Jett and running around by the concessions yelling. She did not want to leave.

I also introduced Clara to the spray bottle. She loves water. And she now loves the spray bottle. I kept wondering what water activities we could do at our house (no pool and a dirt backyard make water fun a little difficult). Apparently I discovered it. She sprayed herself over and over and over in the face. She even loved it when I sprayed her and then was sad when I took her new toy away. Her silliness certainly makes up for her increasing orneriness.

Truly Bittersweet

I wasn't going to cry. I figured I could be strong for a number of reasons: he was older (72), he'd been alive to see his 13 children marry and begin their own families (I think!), he'd been married nearly 49 years and he'd been a successful religious and political leader. His life was so full of goodness and seemed more complete than so many others, so shouldn't that be comforting? My plan worked until we were walking towards the door of the church and ran into Mary Louise. As we exchanged hugs, my mom offered condolences and I was silent as I my emotions overcame me. How could I not feel a sliver of pain knowing how her heart must ache losing her lifelong sweetheart, especially such an amazing person? My mom put it well: "He made everyone feel like they were his favorite." If random old neighbors felt like that, imagine the love his family felt from him.

The church quickly filled with family, friends and politicians for the memorial service.

I lived down the road from the Jake Flake family and knew him as my piano teacher's husband, my Stake President, my friend's uncle and another friend's dad. I've only seen him a few times since we moved, the last happened about 6 months ago. After all those years, he still remembered me, gave me a big hug (those Flake brothers are not small men and give BIG hugs) and held Clara for me while I got my food (of course he made sure I opted for the stake and not the chicken). Before I knew he'd be in attendance, I spoke with a woman running for some office and his name came up in our conversation. I proceeded to tell her my favorite memory of him. Each week as I showed up for piano lessons, he'd tell me my nostrils were too small and he'd make them bigger so I could breathe better. At which point, he'd attempt to shove his giant fingers up my nose. Just before lunch, I was introduced as the new accountant and then they introduced Jake. They said he raised me and I used to try to stick my fingers up HIS nose. My memories of him and the other stories I heard today prove there were plenty of laughs when he was around.

The talks were so good. Laughing, then crying, the whole time. One guy said, "He wanted it, he deserved it and now he earned it" (I think I got that right, something like that). But I loved that. My favorite talk was Jeff Flake's, his nephew's. He referred to the four Flake brothers (Dean, Jed, Steve & Jake) that ran F Bar Ranch as his "Four" fathers. Every joke had some reference to ranching, especially his top 10 reasons "You Know You're a Flake". Listening to the memories he had, remembering Jake and sitting in front of Steve and Sharla reminded me of how lucky I was to live in the middle of Flakeville (what we affectionately referred to F Bar Ranch as). Who knew I'd be able to ride horses, help feed the steer (okay, I really watched while Amy and Michelle did it worrying they would bite me) and watch a dog eat the product of turning a Bull into a Steer? I was impacted and I lived there a few short years of my life. No wonder those that lived their during their growing up years are such incredible people! I certainly didn't realize at the time the caliber of people I was surrounded by.

Jeff told many jokes and stories that had the entire congregation laughing loud. Perhaps my favorite was Jeff saying when it came time for him to leave the Ranch, he went to the only other place he knew he'd be surrounded by Flakes: Congress.

At the conclusion of his talk, he told everyone what he knew Uncle Jake would want them to know about his religious beliefs. He shared some of the most precious truths of the Gospel, from our knowledge of the nature of God to the Plan of Salvation. He attributed Jake's endearing happiness and positive attitude to the Gospel. I am certain there were 100's of people there that knew of Jake's faith, but nothing more and due to the nature of their relationship, it probably would never come up. It was powerful to know that Jake knew with his heart every word Jeff shared and now everyone in that room knew it too.

After such events, I always have so many emotions and thoughts flooding my body and mind. I wonder if it's more sad to lose a spouse after only a few years or nearly half a century. A friend who struggled with life or a righteous stalwart. A newborn or a great grandpa. Today I concluded that it's all bittersweet. It's so sad to lose such a wonderful man, such an influential, successful leader. Yet, how comforting to know he is now reunited with family who passed on before him and that someday he can be with his sweet wife again. How sad for his wife to be without after so many years of companionship. How sad for his younger kids who had limited time with him. But how happy to know he was so respected, loved and admired. How happy to reflect on a wonderful, wonderful life. How happy to hear the faith of his granddaughter when she turned around to tell me, "My Grandpa is with Heavenly Father now." That was the ultimate of the sweet in the bittersweet event. She is just one small piece of an amazing legacy Jake left behind. It is complete with sons, daughters and grandchildren. But they aren't ordinary people. I know many of them and they are loving, hard working, intelligent and spiritual. I don't know anything that is sweeter than that.

Seriously

I thought I made it clear that backing up our work computers at four in the morning is NOT convenient for my work schedule. Seriously, why not do it in the middle of the day when everyone else is busy working? I have three clients waiting on things from me so my internet glitch couldn't have come at a worse time (okay, maybe 4.15 would've been worse). Plus, I have payroll this week so I am already going to be busy. Anyway, I feel like I can't get caught up because I have so much to do. Shortly after I got home tonight and was feeling sorry for myself knowing how long the night would be, I realized I should be grateful for the abundance of work. And I am. These next few months before Jason can work full time and we will be eligible for his work insurance (about 1/3 of what we're paying now) will be fun. Money doesn't fall out of the sky, but the Lord will always provide a way!

PS I like to be above average. That's why I paid $4.06/gallon of gas last time I filled up. The National average is $4.05. Congratulations to me.

PSS Clara's fever was gone before her nap today, thanks for your concerns. She never acted sick, other than the amount of sleep she got, so it was a pretty random fever.

Worried

Sunday night Clara was up off and on until 2am, at which time I finally took her and fell alseep with her in my arms in the chair in her room. I figured it was teeth since that's normally what teeth do to her and other times, she is a marvelous sleeper. She slept until 10am, when I decided to check on her to make sure she was breathing. Yeterday morning, she felt warm, 99.0*. Oh good, I thought, it's just her teeth and now I have an excuse not to go to my meeting at work. During the next few hours, her temp kept getting higher (99.6, 100.0, 101.0, 102.0, 102.9) and then I gave her some medicine, which helped. She was still happy most of the day and took a 3 hour nap. Last night, she went to bed around 8, as usual, and didn't wake up all night. Here we are, almost 10am and she's still sleeping. It worries me every time this happens, but even more so that she wasn't up at night so for her to sleep that long is scary. I wake up, work and then I start getting anxious, with each minute that passes after 8am (her usual wake up time). What if I was just sitting here this whole time when something was wrong? What if she's not breathing? What if I can't hear her (that's particularly funny since my house is rather small)? The worrying goes on until ahh, I hear her sweet little cry. Just as I do now and it is such a relief.

Jealous?

After reading of the conversations and events of a Sunday evening at the Melzer's, you'll all likely be jealous that you weren't there. And that's without tasting the crab cakes Ryan made for our appetizer.

Mom (horribly sick with TWO kidney stones): I have gone into labor with five kids today and I'm about to go into labor with the sixth.
Ryan: Maybe you should smoke some medicinal marijuana
Mom: Actually, it's like having a baby with no epidural (PS, she had eight children without and her ninth was c-section so she has never had an epidural). I'm going to call Dr. Green tomorrow and tell him I need an epidural.
My poor mom is in so much pain but she sure made us laugh. Maybe that was the percucet.

Clint (playing an accordian): Ryan, we should go stand on Mill, I'll play this and you play (? - I didn't hear what).
Ryan: Okay, and should I have you on a leather leash?

Then came the arm wrestling.
Angela: I know Anna is going to beat me because she has mom arms.
Ryan: But you have letterpress arms.

It was fierce. I beat Angela 2/3 but Kathryn beat me the first two times. I've had years of practice with Angela, but Kathryn has those darned Papa arms. It kind of depends on the position you're in when you start who's going to win. But I might have to admit that my Melzer no-muscle arms are no competition for tight-tendoned Papa arms.
Just as we were leaving the girls were out, all in their pull-ups running in the front yard. I told them to go smell the flowers and I couldn't resist. And just because I thought Clara's immodest outfit was so cute...
(I didn't realize until Ryan suggested it that my flash was off so the second picture and all the other's I took with the green highlights were pretty blury).