Christmas

Christmas this year was kind of low key, but just right. Jason's parents stayed with us on Christmas Eve so they opened presents with us Christmas morning. Clara and her cookies for Santa (we almost forgot, whoops). On Christmas morning, things were pretty quiet at our house, even having Jason's parents there. My memories of Christmas morning growing up in a big family, included impatiently waiting in a designated sibling's room until a "reasonable" hour to wake my parents up, impatiently waiting my turn to open a present, impatiently waiting for everyone else to open a present, etc. So I guess the point is: being an only child eliminates having to be patient on Christmas morning. :) I sure hope she enjoyed it because it was her last Christmas as the lone child.

I had no intention of Clara getting everything she asked for. But for her birthday, my mom got her "a music thing that plays music in her room" (aka clock radio) and that left only two items on her wish list: reindeer pj's and her own Christmas tree. I was delighted when I saw some reindeer pj's at Wal Mart (that I purchased, then later purchased a different pair that I found there another time that I liked better). I got those for Clara and told her I let Santa know. I just wanted her to be able to wear them Christmas Eve. Then she got her own tree with decorations from Santa (how could he resist when it was $2.79 on clearance at Michael's?). That morning she came into our room and we kept sleeping. She left then came back in with the tree and Jason let her go back to look at her other stuff. When I realized what was happening, I made him go get her and I jumped (well, not really, I was 9 months pregnant after all) out of bed. Obviously we've never discussed our "rules" for Christmas morning. Clara loved her toothbrushes (since she normally only gets fancy toothbrushes from the dentist, ha ha).

And obviously she had to put a dress-up dress on in order to put make up on.

I finally got my two Christmas wishes that have been on my list for the last two years: a bigger house and a baby (well, close enough). I think we do a good job of making sure we recognize the true meaning of Christmas all throughout December. However, I realized this year that we do a poor job of doing anything on the actual day of Christmas. Something to work on for next year.

We went over to my parent's for brunch and I spent about 80% of the day sitting in my parent's front lawn eating, visiting, watching Rachel sew, enjoying the warm sun and green grass and wondering when I would have a baby. This explains why all my pictures from the day are taken from a chair. I didn't get up and walk around a whole lot.

Rachel and I capped off the night by making a late-night run to Walgreen's for some Castor oil... more on that later (maybe). We both were wondering why there were SO many people at the store on Christmas. The Castor oil was basically an emergency (ha, ha). Perhaps the guy buying a 24-pack considered that an emergency too.

PS I'm well aware that this post doesn't flow very well. It's all over the place, especially the first part. Too bad, I don't have the desire to change it. :)

And the sun will shine again

My mom and Lily babysat so Jason and I could go out for our anniversary (7 years!) last night. Our date consisted of me standing at the JC Penny Catalog counter for almost an hour (it should've taken 5 minutes) while Jason waited in the car, running into Motherhood Maternity to buy a nursing bra (fail) and then dessert at Cheesecake Factory (we were left with about 20 minutes in the restaurant thanks to my lovely experience at JCP). If that doesn't scream "happy anniversary!", what does? I think we might have to try that again. Or maybe last night will mark the beginning of having regular date nights. I'd be okay with that.

Argh

I've managed to fill up my hard drive, again, with pictures. In the process of moving and backing up 40GB of pictures (yeah, and that was mostly just from 2010), I noticed the July 2009 folder is gone. I don't know if it's just hidden somewhere (hopefully) or if I somehow managed to delete it the last time I moved things around. It makes me sick to my stomach. In frantically looking in all the folders of pictures, hoping I've just misplaced it, I found a few little treasures of Clara.

August '07

September '08

May '09

January '10

I sure love my little goose. Sometimes I forget about all the fun stages we've been through and how much laughter wouldn't have happened without her. I forget what it was like a year ago, two years ago, etc. It's especially easy to forget when she's talking back to me, scowling at me or stomping her feet because she's not getting her way. But then I look at old pictures and just smile. Good thing I have another one, otherwise I'd have a serious craving for a baby. And just like that, the sickness in my stomach is almost gone. I better go to bed so I don't think about July 2009 anymore...

Countdown to Christmas

In November I saw a super cute idea for an advent calendar for Christmas. I decided to make it and then undecided to make it a few days later when I realized it'd probably be the middle of December before I would even start the project.

Instead, I opted for a paper chain, a link a day, each link with an activity. We did really good the first 10 days, then we got a little off, but did most everything on our list.


Here's what made up our list (Not in order... I can not find my original list that I saved all month, funny how that works, so this is just the order I was able to remember them):
1. Make a paper chain2. Go see Santa at Bass Pro Shop. Our first attempt didn't work out so well since Santa wasn't there. Whoops. We met Lucy and Elsa there and the girls still had plenty of fun with the other activities, looking at the fish and riding the elevator.

We went back with Jason later and he was there. Anyone else a little creeped out by some of these Santas?

3. Make and decorate paper Christmas trees (sparkly reindeer antlers compliments my neighbor that spoils Clara)4. Sing Christmas songs 5. Talk about the symbols of Christmas 6. Read about the birth of the Savior in Luke 2 7. Train park in Scottsdale (didn't happen this year...) 8. Donate food to a food bank (the only real service thing and I didn't get it done, how embarrassing) 9. Sirrine's Train Display (didn't happen this year...) 10. Decorate gingerbread houses (Clara's party killed two birds with one stone...) 11. Make, decorate and eat sugar cookies. Clara made these and frosted them all by herself. She did really good cutting them out and made little hearts to stick on the plates we gave to our neighbor and our HT.

12. Decorate tree & put up decorations 13. Make snowmen ornaments. Clara insisted she have a snowgirl. She doesn't like snowmen, apparently, so we cut out a dress and put a little bow on her snowgirl.

14. Make Christmas cards 15. Watch Joy to the World 16. Temple Lights

17. Drive around and look at Christmas lights 18. Write letter to Santa - I'm too lazy to scan Clara's letter in right now, but here's what it said, as recorded straight from Clara's mouth:

Dear Santa,

I love you and I love your chin. I want you to give us snow. I was a little bit good. I want a music thing that plays music when I'm asleep and a Christmas tree and reindeer jammies. That's all.

Love,
Clara

When the Santa at Bass Pro asked if she had been a good girl she told him she was only a little bit good. He gave her an extra candy cane for being honest. Ha ha.

19. Eat a candy cane (I asked Clara for an idea for one of our activities and this was her suggestion) 20. Deliver cookies to neighbors (two, to be exact) 21. Watch a Christmas movie 22. Nice birthday dinner for Clara (in other words, lunch with cousins at McDonald's, oh the sacrifices I make for her) 23. Make snowflakes 24. Listen to my dad's story about Wally on Christmas Eve.

We had a lot of Christmas activities planned. Normally, I wouldn't be that ambitious in my last month of pregnancy, but I was determined to cram as much one-on-one time with Clara before the baby is born. Change is easier for me when I don't wish I'd done things differently before the change. I don't ever want to wish I had spent more time with her before Hazel was born.

Week #2

Jason - goes back to work tomorrow. He took today off so he wouldn't have to shave.Anna - feels guilty (but definitely grateful) that people are still bringing dinner because she doesn't feel like she gave birth a week ago... Unless she does more than she should, then at night her body makes her regret it.

Clara - says it's hard that she has to share mom and dad, but said more hugs will make it better. Oh, and she's become totally obsessed with head dressings. Clips, flowers, headbands, a crown, etc. Obsession is the right word, no?

Hazel - sleeps more at night and cries more during the day. No one seems to mind. Do you blame us?

And It's Done

Why am I the only one posting on my blog at 8:16pm on New Year's Eve?

Just kidding.

It's party night and here I sit in my quiet, peaceful house. Peaceful, but lonely. Funny how that works. We crave quiet. And then the silence makes us lonely. Jason and Clara went to hang out with my family for a bit and Hazel and I are home. It's a good time to reflect on 2010 before I play some games. (I love Text Twist!). My initial thought for 2010 was, That was rough. Then I thought about what made me feel that way and I remembered all the wonderful memories from the year. Highlights include, but are not limited to, keeping our jobs, Gila Valley Temple, weddings, visits from out-of-town friends, Seattle, Melzer family reunion, preschool and dance for Clara, moving and of course, the best part of the year, Hazel. On the outside, it was a really great year. On the inside, it was emotionally exhausting. I didn't deal with some of the more visible trials I have in the past, but somehow, this was harder for me. 2010 might have been my most tearful year ever. Regardless, tomorrow is a new year. A time for self-reflection and resolutions. A time to remember some wisdom from the wise William Ernest Henley's Invictus:

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I can make 2011 happier and better. Here's to a happy new year.

******************************************************************************

I got to run over to Ryan and Kathryn's for a bit before I posted this to say hi. It made it feel a little more like New Year's Eve.
Then I came home and drank some Martinelli's straight from the bottle.

Life At Home

We came home from the hospital yesterday morning. So far, we've all adjusted well and it's nice to be home.

The hardest thing for Clara right now is keeping her distance. She has a cold and so we are trying to keep her out of Hazel's face for a few days. She touches her head, brings her stuffed animals and loves to watch her. A few times she's come up to her and waved her arms really fast a few inches above Hazel, making it evident how difficult it is not to give unlimited hugs to her new sister. She can't wait to have a little more interaction with her once she's feeling better. This morning, Clara heard Hazel wake up, ran into her room and climbed up the side of the crib to see her. It was more exciting than Christmas. That's a good sign.
Last night I fed Hazel a little after Midnight and then she only woke up twice more to eat - once at 3:30 and again at 6:20. Way better than that last night in the hospital. She must like her crib and having her own room. Needless to say, I woke up feeling great. So good, in fact, that I'm a little nervous about tonight. Or maybe I just got one of those magical babies that sleeps well at night. Definitely cute. Possibly magical.
Jason's company closed their office for the week so he's home, but is tired. He wants to know why he's so tired. I think it's either:
A.) Watching your wife labor and give birth naturally is exhausting;
B.) Sleeping all night while your wife has a night of broken sleep leaves one feeling a little sleepy; or,
C.) Living with someone recovering from giving birth and breastfeeding a newborn sure zaps the energy out of you.

What do you think?

Hello, Name

Hazel Joy Penrod
Don't let the picture fool you into thinking we picked the wrong middle name.

{If only my photog skills were comparable to Hazel's ability to cry (all night long). But don't worry, my nice sister and her nice camera are going to come take some lovely pictures of my sweet little baby.}

Hello, Baby

I had a baby last night.

I wanted one last picture of our little family of three before we became a little family of four. Little did I know I was probably dialated to a 10 and should've been at the hospital.

This picture was taken at 8:33pm at my mom's. We got to the hospital around 8:50pm. The registration lady didn't quite sense the urgency. Little did she know I'm not really a wimp. I was wheeled into the L&D room at 9:00pm. The baby was born at 9:06pm. I was officially admitted to the hospital at 9:09pm. No IV, no doctor and no epidural. I never in my life imagined I'd have a baby that fast. I feel like a champ. It was awesome. Well, after it was over. I was ready to party.

8lbs 12oz, 21 1/4" ... if only we were certain on the name.

Almost 5

This morning Clara came into my room and got in bed with me and I asked her if she knew what today was. She said no, as if she hasn't been looking forward to her birthday for weeks. I sang her Happy Birthday and told her she's no longer 3 because today she turns 4. She got really excited and said, "So now I'm almost 5!" Patience my dear...


For lunch I told her she could go anywhere she wants. She wanted McDonald's. I think McDonald's could be my least favorite place to eat so I told her we could go somewhere fancy and sit down and eat, hoping she'd change her mind. To that she asked, "Can we sit down at McDonald's". McDonald's it was. My mom, Lily, James and Rachel's kids met us and after Clara ate as little as possible, she enjoyed playing with the kids.

I almost did a friend party for Clara for the first time. I decided being 9 months pregnant wasn't a good idea to host several little 4 year olds so I decided to simplify and just invite some family and a few special friends. Somehow my simplification turned into making 20 houses for kids to decorate and having 41 guests for dinner. Apparently I feel the need to simplify, I just don't really know how to do it. Which is why I went to bed last night with 20 houses on my table.
I did simplify with the cake. Originally I was going to make these cupcakes but after piping a few of these snowflakes, I decided making 40 was not a good idea. So instead I used the cupcake as inspiration for my cake.
I don't think chaos and simplicity can coexist...

The night turned out lovely. Clara had a great time decorating her house, playing with cousins and friends and opening presents. I think we were both a little overwhelmed by all the presents. Clara told me we "giveded her too many presents". So many people made her feel special today and I am grateful for all of them.

All during the party, I felt so blessed. I am grateful for our house. I am grateful for everyone that cleaned up after the party. {Really, really grateful}. I am grateful to be surrounded by family and friends. But today, I am most grateful for Clara. There really is no way to verbalize the joy she brings into my life. She makes me smile every single day. She makes me laugh, she helps me learn and grow and she helps me keep a positive outlook on life. She makes me want to be better and try harder. The weather today was exactly like the day she was born so I had fun reminiscing with her about that day. It was a good day, but only the beginning of a new chapter of life.

Happy Birthday my little goose.