My Thoughts on Thoughts

At ward choir practice last week I went through some of my usual thoughts: "Man, my voice is awful... Wow, I'm such a loser that I can't play the piano like her..." You should know something. The lady I was sitting next to has had professional training and I'm pretty sure formal education in music. She performs, teaches and has an amazing voice and amazing pitch. I'm pretty sure the lady that plays the piano also had professional training and education and charges $175/month for piano lessons. She recorded her music and gave it away as her neighbor Christmas gift and it sounds professional. Then there is me. I haven't taken a piano lesson in at least 16 years. I haven't sung with a choir (other than church) since 8th grade. Really, I have no business comparing my weak talents to the incredible talents of these women. Did I compare my accounting talent (oh, it's a talent, I promise) to theirs? I think it's funny how we are so quick to compare our worst to someone else's best. Time to ease up on myself.

I used to lay in bed at night, petrified with all the things that could go wrong. I'd imagine all the horrible things that could happen while I slept: the house could catch on fire, someone could break in, steal our stuff, steal my kids, hurt my kids, etc., etc., etc. I would worry about money and life and it was no wonder all these thoughts prolonged my falling asleep. Especially since just before I was asleep I'd jump up and go check the laundry room door. Just in case. I'd go check on Clara and Hazel. Just in case. Never mind it had all been checked before. A couple of months ago, I decided to turn my thoughts and instead of always thinking of the worst, why not think of the best? I started thinking about the things my kids do that make me smile, I think about what fun things we have going on or what fun things I could plan and I think about winning the lottery and how I'd spend my money. I'm not convinced that we can will anything into our life with positive thinking, but it sure has decreased my nightly anxiety so I fall asleep much quicker and much happier.

Although I don't think we can always will good into lives by positive thinking, I do believe paying attention to our thoughts can have a huge, huge, huge positive impact on our lives. It's interesting how so many of our thoughts aren't true. We make assumptions and since one thought can lead to another, before we know it, we are so stressed, angry, anxious, annoyed, etc. at our thoughts. I've been trying to make an extra effort to think things as they really are. It really saves me from lots of stress and I'm generally happy when I stick with this plan.

Do unicorns exist? Yes, they do.