Life As I Know It

Monday night as I walked into the laundry room after work and stumbled over the shoes that were all over the floor (we have a basket, but somehow the shoes are rarely in it), I thought, My life is nothing like I expected it to be. I started pondering this thought. My conclusion? It's true, my life is really nothing I expected it to be. But who's is?


When I was attending ASU, I remember the first day of my small group communication class. We took the first bit of class time to introduce ourselves, including what our goals after graduation were. Graduate degrees, exciting jobs, business owners, traveling and then me: a mom. (The only other time I solicited that many shocked expressions at ASU was when I explained the reason I was getting my CIS degree was for fun. {But come on, was that any more shocking than my classmate who was a concert pianist and was getting his CIS degree as a backup?})

Anyway, I knew I wanted a family. Even though I wasn't married, I knew filling life with things that matter (family) is what brings true happiness. I had a strong desire to raise and nurture a family. I found my prince charming, finished school and started my career. I enjoyed what I did, but when Clara came along, I was more than ready to really get into the "real" part of life. Everything until then (school, work, etc.) seemed like a filler. It was fun, but it wasn't joy. It seemed having a baby had more purpose than all the things I'd accomplished in the accounting world combined. I experienced joy. Lots of it and it still keeps coming. I worked a little on the side and enjoyed being a mother more than I enjoyed anything in life up to that point. It was rewarding and fulfilling in ways my career could not be. I didn't want to rush into having another kid, but visions of a house full of kids frequented my day dreams. As we know, reality often differs from day dreams.

Time only brought more clients, not more kids. I didn't plan that, not at all. I chose the first part, but I think it was somewhat of a subconscious fall back plan since the other part wasn't working out the way I had hoped. However, as I stumbled over shoes thinking about this, I also concluded that I am happy. Happy because I have learned to take time when making decisions I have control over and not waste time worrying about things I don't have control over. Someday the client count will go down and the kid count will go up, but until then, I can and do enjoy life as it comes.
On our way home from Snowflake a few weekends ago, I attempted to take a picture of the beautiful blue sky (by sticking my camera out the window as we were going 70 MPH) and accidentally captured this shot. I love it.