Bedtime

It's a few hours past my bedtime. But I'm not asleep. Obviously. 'Cause I can't type in my sleep. Every so often, more often than I like, I can't go to sleep. Well, really it starts out with me not wanting to and then before I know it, I can't. It begins with having to get something for work done. I get the work done, which puts me past my preferred bedtime on Thursday night. At that point, since I'm already an hour past bedtime, I think, what's another two? I am dreading waking up when it's still dark knowing I'll be so sleepy so I procrastinate. That's right, I dread waking up after only a few short hours so I procrastinate going to bed. Makes perfect sense. Somehow, my thought process is totally logical around Midnight. And then I start to think. And think and think and think. About everything. Houses, too much work, too little work, babies, messy room, piles that give me anxiety, moving, my ideal life, my reality, drugs, food (I made the most delicious dinner tonight, just ask Jason but if you don't, I'll quote,"I would pay a lot of money for that at a restaurant"), money, life, things to blog about, other's struggles, etc., etc. And then, I decide my procrastination is foolish. I change, wash, brush, pray, snuggle (with my blanket... I'm not a human snuggler when sleeping) and close my eyes to drift off to sleep. Except at this point, my mind is so wired with thoughts that the drifting takes too long. Sometimes hours. Especially if I focus too much on going to sleep. Because then my anxiety kicks in knowing how quickly the hour of the alarm is approaching and, you guessed it, that keeps me awake longer.

So now I guess I have two problems: 1.) I'm kind of crazy and 2.) I'm going to be really tired tomorrow. :)