Argh, I tried really hard not to post today (since it was pointed out that yes, I do post almost every day). But, because I'm an opinionated, emotional, loud-mouth mom, I couldn't read
this article today and keep my mouth shut. Especially since it is quite contradictory to
this article that I love so dearly. The first article made a few good points. Who are they kidding? Most normal humans aren't going to be happier shopping with a tantrum-throwing kid than they would in peace and quiet. And the fact that they pointed out waiting longer to get married and have kids has allowed other life successes to drown out family success. You are obviously more likely to see kids as a burden than a joy. But over all, it makes me want to shout, then cry, to think that this will only become more common.
Rachel, my wise older sister, told me (before I had kids, ha ha) that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is much like that of tithing. You don't realize the blessings you are missing out on until you obey the commandment. How easily we forget about opposition and that event so long ago in the Garden of Eden. If it weren't for sorrow, we wouldn't know joy. So it is with children. Somebody that has never had children (by this I mean those choosing not to have children) does not know the joy children bring. And for those with children, the stress, the hard work and the sorrow only make the joy more full.
I have
proclaimed before how much I enjoyed going to school and having a career. I still enjoy learning and working; both are very important to me. But nothing, absolutely nothing, brings more joy into our house than my little goose. There are days I have no patience with her (or myself) and I wish I could pay someone to watch her all day. There are days I feel like the frumpiest housewife on the block (new reality show, anyone?). And there are days I wonder what I would've accomplished if I didn't have Clara. But I wouldn't trade having such a special little spirit in our home for the most
glamorous career imaginable or a
prestigious graduate degree.
The article argues that marital satisfaction is lower after having children. True, Jason and I don't spend as much time together. But most of the time, spending time as a little family of three is more fun than when it was just the two of us. Plus, there are still dates (well, sometimes) and after Clara goes to bed. It might take a little more work, but that extra effort is well worth the joy. Over all, life is more fun and rewarding with our little 30" pea.
But my favorite line of the article is in the concluding paragraph. "Parents still report feeling a greater sense of purpose and meaning in their lives than those who've never had kids." This is after the whole article attempts to convince the reader based on study findings that couples with kids aren't as happy as those without. Can someone tell me what brings more happiness than purpose and meaning?? I can't imagine two feelings that would get me closer to feeling happy. I think I should write the author (who, by the way, is a parent) and remind him wickedness never was happiness. And meanwhile, I will find joy in my posterity. :)