I Don't Believe In Chance

I left for work a little after 7am today. After striking out 6 times in search of a babysitter, Jason offered to take the day off. It's been a while since I've been able to leave for work that early and I was pretty excited about it. Jason was planning several errands with the girls, including getting my oil changed, so I took his car. I was surprised at how busy the freeway was. Traffic was flowing nicely, but there were so many cars for that time of day. I also spent some time thinking about how it was weird being in a smaller car after driving my van. Being so close to the ground in his car makes me feel vulnerable. Especially on a busy freeway driving 70+MPH.

 

Shortly after these thoughts came and went, I was switching from the middle lane to the left lane when something went wrong. Everything happens so fast, yet I felt like it was slow motion. I remember starting to switch lanes. And I remember the split second I realized what was about to happen. That car was right in front of me. I was going to hit the car, I was going really fast and there were lots and lots of cars all around me. And then just like that, I was out of control. I can't even remember if hitting the other car or locking up my brakes happened first. I just knew at that point so many things could go wrong. I spun 90 degrees to the left, skidding sideways. Miraculously, I had the compusure to think clearly. I felt like everyone was watching me flying across the freeway and spinning right and left. But I knew if I panicked, I'd overcorrect and probably roll. I tried to straighten out and flipped 180 degrees to the right. Then I went to the left hoping to come out of it and quickly flipped 360 degrees to where I finally stopped. The guy stopped about 100 feet ahead. The other girl was facing oncoming traffic in the middle of the freeway when she finished her spins. We were all pretty stunned. I thanked Heavenly Father for safety. I prayed no one was hurt.

 

During it, I couldn't believe what was happening. After it, I couldn't believe what had happened. I didn't even know what had happened. Everything happened so fast. I had been convinced at any moment someone from oncoming traffic was going to slam into me or that I was going to roll. I kept thinking, I can't believe this is happening! I can't believe this is happening! That quickly switched to, I can't believe this just happened! I was amazed at how clear my thoughts were while it was happening. Time literally seemed to stand still as I considered all the awful things that could happen at that point and felt completely helpless. I prayed no one would hit me. I prayed I'd be okay. Based on the number of thoughts that went through my mind, you'd think I was spinning for several minutes. In reality, it was just a few short seconds. It's amazing how much shock a person can feel in just a few short seconds. I wondered if I caused it. I wondered if everyone else was okay. I wondered how bad my car was damaged. I worried about my insurance going up and having to buy a new car (it wouldn't take much damage to total Jason's car). I didn't want a traffic ticket. I didn't want all the consequences of being in a car accident. I tried to figure out what I had done wrong and put all the pieces together. 

 

Shaking, but still composed, I drove to the side of the freeway. Too afraid to look at the damage, I stayed in the car until DPS arrived. They talked to the other drivers then chuckled as they looked at my car while pointing at the front. I just knew they were gawking at the awful damage. I jokingly told them that wasn't nice and that they shouldn't laugh while pointing at someone's car. I asked him how bad the damage was. The officer said, "That's why we were laughing. There is virtually no damage to your car." I told him that was impossible based on what I'd just experienced and he said that's why they were so confused. They had us exit the freeway on the next exit so we could sort out what had happened. The other drivers weren't real clear on what had happened either. I finally got out of the car to check out the extent of the damage. Some scratches on the bumper, a missing piece of the bumper and one of the deer whistles was knocked off. The other cars didn't fair so well. One just had some damage along one side. The other was pretty banged up on his front and side.

 

I waited and waited while DPS tried to figure out what happened. They were convinced a fourth car was involved based on the guy's statement and wrote the police report as a hit-and-run. I don't think another car was involved and Jason agrees. The guy was minding his own business and I think was a lot more shocked then me so I don't think he realized the succession of events. I also think the girl wasn't telling the truth. After processing everything and observing the damage (the DPS officers didn't do much of an investigation and I'm pretty sure it's because no one was hurt), I feel pretty confident that I know what happened. Maybe I'll draw you a picture someday.

 

What a wild experience. I spent much of the day shocked and overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so grateful I was in Jason's car (mine probably would have rolled and it definitely would have caused more damage to the other cars and maybe their drivers). I am so grateful my car didn't roll. I am so grateful there were no injuries. I am so grateful I didn't get a ticket. I am so grateful it wasn't my fault. I am so grateful for the calm and insight I had in those split seconds that my car was out of control. I keep replaying it in my head, over and over, and each time, I can't believe I bumped my knee and that's it. I can't believe no other cars were involved. All three of us did at least one 360 down the freeway going 70MPH in heavy traffic. I can't believe you can't really tell my car was in an accident, not to mention a high-speed 3 vehicle accident. Never before have I had an experience that was such a tangible reminder that I have a purpose on earth and I will be watched over and protected until my work is done.