I don't remember all that I learned in History in 9th grade, but I do remember my teacher telling us why it's not good to assume. Wisdom at its finest.
However, I am always making assumptions. Today I realized most of the time they are "negative" assumptions, meaning, I assume the worst. I do it with everything. If someone at work pulls me aside, I assume it's to let me know I've done something wrong which ultimately means I'm probably getting let go. If I get to go on vacation, I'll crash and die. If I get released from a Church calling, it's because I failed. If someone calls that doesn't normally call, I assume I've done something to upset them. If you don't leave a comment on my blog, you hate me. I questioned why the last radical assumption hadn't lead to serious insecurities and low self-confidence. It's because in my mind self-confidence isn't thinking people like me, it's not caring what people think of me (within reason).
This might seem like it would cast a negative shadow on my life, but really, I think it's the way to go. First of all, if you assume the worst, when the worst happens it's not as shocking. Second of all, if you assume the worst, when something other than the worst happens, it seems pretty good, even if it's bad. But compared to worst, it's good. It's almost impossible to be disappointed. And finally, if you assume the best, anything but the best will bring you disappointment. And who wants to live life always being disappointed?
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I used to play a little game in high school. I found that if I made myself always think I did horrible on a test then I actually would get a good grade. Even if in my heart I knew I did good I would try to make myself believe I did bad because then I knew I would get a good grade. The times when I let myself think I did good, I usually got a bad grade. Therefore we stuck with the make yourself think you did bad but get good grade theory.
You and I think a lot a like. I have always felt like if I assume the worst, then the worst won't seem that bad. I think it works pretty well. I think if you are optimistic all the time, you tend to get let down a lot.
By the way, the picture on your last post ( the sunburnt legs ) totally look like butt cheeks if you don't scroll down all the way. Hilarious !
i think sis. hinkley mentioned this as her secret for a happy marriage. or it was possibly russell m. nelson's wife. can't remember. something like "i never expected much, so i was never disappointed."
i've been trying this all my married life, but so far i am not good at it. my expectations are very high.
Amen sister! I am forever disappointed because I let myself get carried away by optimistic thinking. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, though. I guess the key is expecting the worst - just not verbalizing it.
Although one day - in magical fairy happy land - I'd like to think the best and have my expectations met - and even exceeded. One day - in fairy happy land.
Isn't it kinda sad that this is what life has come down to? Expecting the worst??
I don't hate you, even though I don't comment enough.
It must be exhausting to assume such awful things all the time. I think you need to take a break.
I do it with mothering. I go through the worst case scenario, and see if I can live with it, or what precautions we need to take, etc. It can be extremely helpful. BUT I've found that you can't do it with people. It's really hurtful to someone to find out that I've expected the worst in them. And it eats me alive. Not counseling you, just commenting on your post, because that's important. =) =) See? Another person who doesn't hate you!
Your brain just goes a million miles a minute, doesn't it Anna??
I'm like Rachel and Roccy -- I think I set my expectations way too high and am frequently disappointed. *sigh*
i better leave a comment then 'cause i adore you to death!
and we ALL know you are lying in this post...you are one of the most cheerful/funny people i know! (but one i haven't seen in like 10 years even though we live less than 20min from one another)
Dude, I comment practically every post, so you'd better know I think you're awesome. :)
I see the wisdom of tempered expectations when it comes to situations, but assuming people are upset with me (a problem I have too) is exhausting and I'm trying to stop.
Ha ha, that's a funny post. Mostly because I started a post a while back about how I'm a pessimist and always expect the worst, but then I prepare to try to make the worst not happen. One of these days I'll get around to finishing that post and actually post it!
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