When we first built our house in Utah, we joked that we'd rather file for Bankruptcy than live in Utah. As time went on, we joked about moving there. Now, after spending more time in it and experiencing more frustration here with job opportunities, we talk about moving to Utah without the joking.Sigh.
Really big sigh.
When I have hard decisions to make, I create pro and con lists to assist me. Yesterday, I made a list of the reasons I want to stay in Arizona and the reasons I want to move to Utah. There were lots on each list, but it all came down to one Arizona pro vs. one Utah pro.
The main reason, and most significant reason, I would have a terrible time leaving Arizona would be my family. My parents and six of my eight siblings live here. Jason's parents and all six of his siblings live here. I've always said I'd be okay moving away from my family if we needed to, but I would never volunteer to leave. I'm no dummy, I have the coolest family. Not to mention they are always helping me out, especially my mom.
The main reason, and a very necessary reason, we'd move to Utah is to lighten the financial predicament we're currently in.
Once I realized it all boiled down to these two things, I just got a headache. Family is the most important thing in my life. No question about that. Just the thought of living away makes me cry. On the flip side, being able to provide food and shelter isn't really optional. I'm pretty sure it falls under the necessities in life. So you see, I don't want to move away from that which is most important to me. But obviously we've got to provide for our needs. How ironic is it that necessities take priority to the things that are most important?
15 comments:
And what am I, chopped liver? I thought for sure I was family...
I should definitely be a big pro for moving here. Just look how positive I am =).
One thing I know for sure: Heavenly Father has a way of working things out the way that is best for us and those in our lives.
Lots of love to you.
Your sister said it so well. We always think we know what's best and what we should do. . . and then we find that His ways are always better. How does that work? Oh man. . . it would be sad to see you go. . .
I'd do it in a heartbeat. But that's just because AZ stinks. I was talking to my mom the other night and talking about even if I could never move back close to my parents (I'd take a 10-12 hour drive in a heartbeat), I'd want to live somewhere where there's nature.
We got talking about that and how nature almost takes on a nurturing aspect. So even though being so far from my family is not ideal - at least having nature in my backyard (the stray cats and their poop does not count) would be nurturing and comforting and fills you up in surprising ways.
I have so much to say on this subject, but I'll spare you until you ask for my opinion.
I know how tough decisions like that can be. Daryle and I moved away, and we knew not a soul in Tennessee (at least you would have Rachel!). Had we not moved there, I know without a doubt that we would not have Travis in our lives. Rachel is right, things have a way of working out for the best, even if we don't see it right away. I'll keep you in my prayers.
this is such a hard decision and i know you will figure things out and i feel like what ever road you pick the lord will be there for you and your family. good luck!
Oh no!! What a horrible predicament indeed! I have always had a bitter taste in my mouth about Utah, being born-and-raised Arizonan, but the more I visit it (which, let's face it, happens every year for family reunions), the more I realise it's not that bad. In fact, I usually leave Utah feeling much better than I expect to feel.
I don't envy your decision.
Me? I never thought I'd say this, but I would move back to Mesa in a heartbeat if we could afford it. But, same as you, necessities vs. family... Sad but true.
I have a good reason for you not moving to Utah : It's going to be a LONG drive and a lot of gas to come to Bunco once a month - because we won't let you go : ) You are stuck in our group !
Seriously, you need to do what is right for your Family. Sometimes it isn't the easy choice that is the right one. I am terrified for whenever we move for Dental School. I have never lived away from my Family. 3 of my 4 Siblings live here and I am very close to my Mom too. But I know that when that time comes, it is going to be something we have to do for our Family and for our future. The Pro for you moving would be that you would have a BEAUTIFUL home to live in and the financial burden would be easier. But we would miss you : )
Dear Anna
I was sad to leave my family behind as we moved here to Oregon. And now I've come to love this area, the people, our home, and our ward so much. It will break my heart to leave here.
So I had to speak in church today and thought I'd share these great quotes I found.
Marvin J Ashton said,
“Victories in life come through our ability to work around and over the obstacles that cross our path. We grow stronger as we climb our own mountains.”
Brigham Young
God never bestows upon his people, or upon an individual, superior blessings without a severe trial to prove them.
Orson F. Whitney
No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. All that we suffer, all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.
I can think of a few more pros to Utah-and they are all members of my family (Aaron and Kiri for example-I would be extremely jealous!). I feel like we are at kind of a "crossroads" also and on the brink of making tough life decisions. Change is always hard (especially for me!), but I always think of that quote from President Hinckley that I found on your blog (the last time you were tagged). Somehow everything works out.
So are you planning on moving then? I would be so sad to see you go! But maybe a change in life would be good for you too. At least just for a short time, then you could move back to AZ once things eased up. I so wish I could buy your house for you! I'm so sorry Anna!
I have no advice. But when I moved to California, I was so scared I couldn't breathe. It isn't nearly the same because I was single and had only myself to worry about. But if I hadn't taken that leap, I never would have met Ernie and I wouldn't have Lily. And I can't imagine my life without either of them. Oh yes, and it so happens that I love it here.
Like I said, I have no advice. Good luck with the decision. And whatever you guys decide, everything will work out.
I love having you as my neighbor (even though we can go weeks without seeing or talking to each other)!!! My vote is "Don't go."
That being said, you need to do what is right for you. You are the ultimate people person. You may not have all your family close, but you would create a Utah family all around you.
I will say, it sounds a lot like you are having a "stupid of thought." How much of that is the spirit vs. not really wanting to make that decision, I don't know. But I do know that you will wrestle with this and when the decision is right, you will be at peace. I love that Heavenly Father has given us the Holy Ghost to sort things out.
I think growing up in AZ you think UT is odd. IT really is. I miss my family so much.
I wish my kids could grow up around their other cousins. But I know that just can't happened. The great thing is Jersey and Phoenix talk about their cousins and aunts and uncles that they don't see. It makes me happy that they remember. It certainly is a bittersweet feeling having to move. Good Luck whatever your choice it will be for the best, for the moment.
I don't envy you that tough decision. It's the choices that have such big consequences like this that can be so hard to make. I know through careful thought and trusting prayer, you'll come to the right decision for your family.
I'm curious though, why selling the Utah house for less than you'd hoped isn't on your pro/con list? Would the pros of easing your financial burden AND being able to stay near your family outweigh the con of selling that home for less than it's worth? Or maybe you've already tried that and I just don't know it. I'm not saying that's what you should do, I was just wondering about that.
Hey Ms. Anna... What a sad post. I hate that feeling like I can't win either way. I know you'll make the right decision... How are the job opportunities in Utah? Is the market better?
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