It's been a while since I've visited my neighborhood Costco. It's just torture going there with no money to spend. However, I needed to purchase software for work and we haven't had cheese for several weeks. Not to mention Clara has gone only two places all week long that weren't within walking distance. I decided we were going to have a little mommy-daughter date, share a $1.50 hot dog and drink and enjoy the plentiful free samples.
For some unknown reason, the Costco was COVERED in people. It was insane. It was worse than the day after Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve day. The checkout lines were backed up into the food. Who knows. I joked with the lady behind me that it was all this talk of another stimulus rebate. I guess people feel so much more confident spending money.
I usually take my time in Costco. I just like walking around. I'd say my average time there is an hour. Today, it was nearly two and I didn't change my patterns/habits at all. In fact, I probably was quicker than normal. So I think my agitation and the five reasons I wanted to scream on my Costco adventure are totally justified.
1. Mr. Bluetooth Man: Hey buddy, if you're going to tell someone every single item that's in your cart (which is overflowing) via your bluetooth ear piece, please step aside because obviously you aren't paying attention to where you're walking. Did you think I was just standing in the aisle watching people checkout? Nope, I was in that line too.
2. Impatient Grumpy Man: You don't think I want to get in the shorter line too? Sorry I'm moving a bit slow, but in case you hadn't noticed, I have my own cart with my two year old in it AND some random man's cart I offered to watch. Perhaps you could wait to see what someone else intends to do before trying to shove past the three people ahead of you in line. Ease up!
3. Dearest Snowbird: I don't expect you to push your cart as fast as me. Enjoy your relaxed 85th year of life. However, when three of you all position your carts in the aisles, the rest of us can't move. And with each bite of the sample you eat (the reason you stopped to begin with), we get more and more agitated. I'm pretty sure that's why Ponytail Man walked away talking in a loud, annoyed voice.
4. We-have-too-much-time Couple: Just because you have lots of extra time doesn't merit you wasting it. Waiting for a car to leave a parking space that clearly won't be available for several minutes just so you can be 15 seconds closer to the entrance is not considerate of all those that simply want to drive down that aisle in the parking lot.
5. Mr. Bluetooth Man: Oh, it's you again! Imagine that. You know, when someone (ME) offers to watch your cart while you get a phone number to order pizza, that's a nice gesture. Maybe you could return the favor and not only hurry, but upon returning let me go in front of you. Or maybe not.
Rest assure, I didn't scream. And the lady behind me stuck up for me to Grumpy Impatient Man and made funny comments about Mr. Bluetooth Man. When I grow up, I'm gonna be cool like her.
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8 comments:
Ugh... Do you want me to beat up Mr. Blue Tooth Man for you... because it sounds like I could take him (mainly because he'll be too distracted to see me sneak up on him).
The shared hot dog and sample part of the trip sounds like it was fun though. Did Clara enjoy herself?
It's nice to have 85 year old women to look at for goal setting.
Oh, and thank you for speaking all of our exact thoughts..
Oh my gosh, what a gong show!
Did you know that up here, a big costco block of cheese is $25? I've never bought one in my life, though I've probably spent more buying smaller blocks, but I just can't rationalise spending 1/4 of my grocery bill on one block of cheese (plus, I'd need one of mozza and one of cheddar).
Sorry about your bad experience.
Hey did you happen to catch a glimpse or sound of Raptor Baby too? We were just there yesterday (Fri) and Ethan threw two HUGE screaming, arching his back, flailing his arms, kicking his feet tantrums. I really think everyone in the store heard him - at least everyone looked at us. If not, maybe you saw us sitting in the car having a time out while we waited for Dalon and my gma to get a hot dog and pizza? :)
When I grow up, I want to be cool like you. I think YOU should be a writer.
And I hate couple with way too much time. And Mr. Blue Tooth Man. Okay, so I hate them all. This is the reason I hate going to Costco
Ok so I left a comment yesterday, but it didn't save it and I was mad because I typed a lot so I wasn't going to post, but now I changed my mind since you always comment on mine :).
I was laughing because I totally know what you mean by all these personalities at Costco. I braved the crowds the day, yes THE day before Thanksgiving to pick up our traditional pecan and pumpkin pie. Well this 80 year old woman was literally racing me to the pie area. We started off walking by each other, and once I would pick up my pace, she would glance at me out of the corner of her eye, pick up her chin, and start walking faster! I was literally racing an 80 year old as if we were going after the last pie on earth. I don't know what got into me, but she was pretty cut throat so I felt like I just had to survive. She would have run me over with her cart. I have no doubt of it.
And you braved the crowds with a 2 year old. I'm really impressed!!
Clint and I really enjoy making fun of Bluetooth Men in general.
And you're totally right, Archie is standing like Clint!!!
that's why i go in...get my hot dog...& RUN out the door! AHHHHH!!!! (what is it about costco that attracts snow-birds??)
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