Ventura, CA

I'm almost exactly four months behind on documenting our life. So sad. So pathetic. But, I am determined to catch up. I'm hoping in January when our church time switches to early morning, I will have the afternoon to blog as the rest of my family naps, but we'll see. Life has just gotten so busy and hectic. Jason has been working a lot 55-70+ hour weeks. I was working a ton, but it tapered off just a bit. However, as that tapered off, I started doing other things I stopped doing that really needed to be done (i.e. cleaning my house) so life doesn't feel a whole lot less busy. I can work and I can be a single mom, but having to basically do both at the same time is hard. Currently, my role with one of my clients is in the process of changing and I think once I settle into that and get things caught up, I won't feel as busy.

Back to where we left off... the middle of Summer....

On July 13th, we headed to Ventura, California with two other families: the Fillmores and their five children and the Welches with their six children. It was such a fun week. We had access to two houses and we spent a fair amount of time at each house. One house was on the beach. The other was about 100 yards from the beach.

On the way over, we noticed for several miles, every overpass was covered in emergency personnel. After seeing the procession they were waiting for, we realized it was for one (or more?) of the 19 firefighters that lost their lives in the Yarnell fire. It made me cry. That situation is so sad and yet, to see the respect and support being paid to this fallen hero made me proud to be an American. Anyway, that was the only time I cried on the trip, thank goodness.

We arrived Saturday night and the kids played around, the adults visited and I took pictures (naturally). The wives also made a Costco run while the husbands stayed back with the kids. While down on the beach, some drunk guy tried to pick a fight with them. The thought of any one of these guys fighting is comical for so many reasons. We're glad nothing got out of control.

Sunday
Early morning tide pooling. We saw sea anenonmes and lots of starfish. I thought it was awesome. Some of the rocks were so covered that you couldn't even tell it had anything on it. Until you touched it and it moved.

After we got cleaned up, had breakfast, had lunch and got ready for church, we went to church. We showed up just in time for the Spanish Branch to start. Whoops. Luckily, the Spirit is universal. Also, the two speakers spoke in English and they had a translator for the Spanish speakers. We lucked out. After that, we took pictures by this tree in the church parking lot. The pictures don't do it justice. It was HUGE! And awesome.

After naps, we had dinner and then walked around on the beach. The sunset was amazing. We didn't see another sunset this beautiful the rest of the week and I'd like to think Heavenly Father was blessing us for keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

It was also that evening that I felt like I gave myself a good chance to qualify for the worst mother of the year award. We were all visiting down by the water. Hazel went and sat, by herself, in one of our chairs that was up closer to the road. I

Monday
I boogie boarded and was happy that I still knew what I was doing after two kids and all these years.

That evening, the dads created a giant sand hill for the kids to play on.

Tuesday
This was the pirate day in honor of Benjamin's birthday. The kids donned swords, gold, patches and mustaches.

After breakfast, we headed to the harbor. We rented boats and cruised around the neighborhood that backs up to water - every house gets a dock. That's convenient.

We went home, had lunch, played on the beach and then headed over to the other house. We had ribs and chicken for dinner and the kids went on a treasure hunt.

Wednesday
The Fillmores and the Welches went scuba diving all day (9 hours to be exact... not that I was counting) and Jason and I had offered to watch all the kids. So we watched 13 kids, 12 and under, including a 6-month old, for 9 hours. Jason preferred to let them watch movies all day, but I couldn't let that happen. They played pirates, we took them to the beach, fed them lunch, walked to the self-serve yogurt shop (not the best idea, but I didn't realize what I was getting myself into) and then let them watch a movie or two. It really wasn't that bad. The older kids were super helpful. There were two 2-year olds and a barely 3 year old that required the most attention, which wasn't always easy since I was holding the baby most of the time. But we had fun and decided we probably won't have 13 kids. But if we do, we'll have fun.

That night, everyone helped watch our kids and Jason and I got to go out. It was fun, but our meal wasn't great and I felt funny having people watch our kids. I like to do nice things for people because it makes me feel happy and because I want to, not because I expect them to do something nice for me. Ya know?

Thursday
The moms each took their youngest and we went shopping at the outlets while the dads took the rest of the kids to see a movie. I don't usually like outlet shopping, but I found some pretty great deals. We shopped most of the day and then went to the other house for dinner and a fire. That afternoon the Lindbloms arrived, all two and a half of them. That night Jason also tried sea fishing off the wall. He didn't have any luck, but enjoyed trying something different.

That night we had a fire on the back porch of one of the houses. Fires, the waves crashing and the cool ocean air make for a great setting to visit and sit and just think.

Friday
Our last day. It's always hard to really enjoy the last full day of vacation knowing that the inevitable is just around the corner. We packed a lot into this day. In the morning we went to the other house and played on the beach. I also tortured my girls and took pictures of them in their matching hats and sunglasses. Hazel was so exhausted and mostly not cooperative, but I guess that's life.

After that, we went to a shell shop and a candy/soda shop downtown with everyone but Jason. He stayed to fish. I loved the candy shop. It was the best one I've ever been to and their Taffy Town salt water taffy (the best brand) was reasonably priced. They also had all sorts of crazy sodas. I bought a few fun ones and then one as a total joke: bacon.

After that we dropped the kids off at our house and the Welches, Lindbloms and myself (Jason still at other beach house) went to grab lunch at In-N-Out. It was about 3:30pm, but we were eating breakfast around 9:30 and didn't eat dinner most nights until around 8:00pm, so a 3:30pm lunch seemed fitting. That night we went back to the house and just visited.

Saturday
We had to get ready to leave, which included cleaning the houses from top to bottom. We put a movie on for the kids and got to work. We had a nice trip home after we got off the congested freeways near LA. When we exited the 202 freeway, the Welches got stuck at a red light. The Fillmores pulled off to the side of the road, as did we, and we waited. Benjamin said we weren't going to get separated that close to our houses after we'd stayed right by each other all this time.

We had a fantastic week. The kids all played well together and these are the kinds of the things the best family vacations are made of. As I was going through our pictures, I was overcome with gratitude that we are blessed with such good friends.

Also noteworthy, I took hundreds of pictures. This is just a sample of what I took on my phone. I also had my small point and shoot and my DSLR. Someday, I may supplement this post with more great pictures. For now, I have to start somewhere to work towards getting more caught up on my blog posts.

Silence All Around

Thoughts I recorded last night but was too lazy to finish up and post...

Jason is gone and the girls are asleep and the silence all around found me thinking, as usual. I love the silence at night. It facilitates my thoughts more than anything I can think of. It's calm and peaceful, yet full of energy. Here are the thoughts tonight's silence brought to the surface...

The last several months have been absolutely insane. I have worked a ton. Jason has worked a ton so on top of working, I've felt like I've been having to basically do everything else alone. I told people my life would change on October 15th, but I don't think anyone believed me. But it was true. When I left work on the 15th, I left for the first time in months that I marked more off my To Do list than I added. When I got home, it was the first time in probably three months that I didn't feel like I had more to do than time to do it. For my big client, I had several major projects going on at once: their annual 401(k) audit, their taxes (for 6 companies), their annual financial statement audit and a new joint venture for a select few of their existing sites. That doesn't count all the other things I had for my other clients and the big client's regular, monthly stuff I was supposed to be working on. I often felt overwhelmed. I was stretched so thin that I felt like I was tearing and one by one, my responsibilities started falling through the tears. Fortunately, I think I'm mostly back to normal. I still have a lot to do, but the list is much more manageable. I can go on long walks with friends in the morning read 10 books to Hazel, plant a garden and not feel like every second I spend not working is that much less sleep that I'll be getting. 

I think about having more children a lot. I have a totally different perspective on having children these days. I wanted so many kids and married someone who wanted to have so many kids with me. But I am slowly accepting the unlikeliness of that. So much is out of our control, which leaves me having to have more faith and trust in who is in control. I am grateful for a heart that is overflowing with love for my two incredible girls. We'll see what the future holds.   

I grated a giant chunk of skin off my thumb while grating cheese. The chunk of skin was on the grater and I had to sit down for nearly 30 minutes to keep from passing out. It was so gross. 

I want my house completely spotless and organized before Thanksgiving. I started saying Christmas, but I don't think there's any reason it can't be Thanksgiving. I want to be okay with someone coming in and walking through my house at any given time. It feels so good to have a clean, de-junked, organized house and I want that feeling during the holidays so we can enjoy them and I won't have anxiety about cleaning. With life being manageable, I am confident I can get it done.

I feel like I've been extra sensitive to my emotions and the Spirit during the last several months. I've always been emotional, but lately, it seems I cry over everything. I'm extra sensitive to other's emotions too. In the last week or so, I've cried for a brother who has to be an older brother to his older brother, a friend, young widow and mother of two and a friend struggling with infertility. My heart literally aches as I watch others struggle and go through trials. This over-sensitivity may have started with General Conference. I was overwhelmed with the countless pieces of inspiration I experienced.  

I've really been wanting a cabin. About a month ago I decided I didn't care how strapped it'd make us or how big it was, I just wanted to have one NOW for memories NOW. My kids are growing up and I want the memories now, not later. I spent a long time looking at land and cabins. We even drove to Pine to look at some land one Sunday morning. But alas, the voice of reason always brings me back to earth. That voice of reason ruins all my brilliant ideas. 

My view out the window while driving up American Fork Canyon... lots more where this came from as soon as I get through blogging about July, August and September. :)

Clara Loses Her Tooth

When we were in California for Alexis' graduation, I noticed Clara's gum slightly swollen behind one of her bottom, middle teeth when I was brushing her teeth one night. After closer inspection, I realized it was her tooth growing in behind her baby tooth. She wiggled it and played with it for a few weeks. Then, on July 7th, Clara lost her first tooth. Well, if we're being honest here, Jason said, "Let me see it." and then grabbed it and ripped it out. She was a little startled at first, but got over that quickly. She was so excited to tell everyone and asked me not to put it on Instagram so she could smile at people at family dinner the next day and ask, "Do you notice anything different about me?" She's funny. The Tooth Fairy left her $5 since it was her first and let her keep her tooth since it was her first (read between the lines: it was dark when she lost it and the Tooth Fairy actually just wanted to get a picture of the tooth with good lighting).

Here's Clara the night she lost it...

And here she is the next day when she let me Instagram it.

 

If you look closely, you can see how LONG her tooth was. I learned from my hygienist friend that is from the permanent tooth not growing in directly below it, which prevented it from "dissolving" more of the bottom. That's not the right word, but I can't remember the right word. 

The next week was spent trying to prepare for another vacation to California. On Monday night, we went to the Fillmore's to plan the meals for said vacation. We played a lot more than we planned, including messing around with the scuba gear in the pool and petting their pet California King Snake. Some people are just so much more fun I am. Glad we have good friends so our kids don't miss out.

Clara got these frogs and taped a "name" to each then made a little habitat for them to live in. I just love her little mind. The red ones were "heart" and "peace", the blue were "rain" something and I can't remember the second and green was "grass" and one other thing. I should have written it down. But I didn't.

Most late, late night weeks require a bag of mini powdered sugar donuts. One night I left the bag within Hazel's reach and this is what I woke up to. Not sure if I was more annoyed with the mess or the wasted donuts. ;)

Clara made a tower with our snacks for the car.

And I spent lots and lots of time working, jumping back from computer to computer. I wanted so badly not to have to work during the entire week we were going to be gone. Usually I leave town knowing I'll do some work, but this time I wanted to get everything to a point that I could leave it for a week so I could fully enjoy our vacation. I even put an out-of-office reply on my e-mail for the first time in years.

I had to squeeze some fun in for the kids, so we went swimming with some friends in the neighborhood.

And left just in time to watch this great storm blow in.

We went to Angela's and Clara blew bubbles for the little girls.

I think I dislike being self-employed the week before a vacation more than any other time. BUT, there are plenty of other reasons that make it worth it. :)

It's Always Fun When Rachel Comes

At the very end of June, Rachel and her kids came to town. It's always a big party when family is in town. Responsibility goes out the window and every day is filled with fun.  Here's what we were too busy doing to worry about everyday responsibilities...

Lucas and Emma spent a few nights here and my girls loved having a few extra people to sleep on the floor with them. Hazel didn't last one night on the floor. She kept bothering everyone and ended up having to go to her bed. The kids also took advantage of our tile floors and drug each other around. Then Emma was a queen and got pushed around in our big brown chair by Clara and Lucas.

Lilly did a summer camp and we attended most of the sessions. Here is the magic show one, followed by magic rice krispy treat wands.

We went to the river and played at Phon D Sutton while the older kids tubed down the river with Rachel. It ended up being a lot more fun than I thought it would be. The kids had a great time and there was a perfect little spot for Hazel to sit and play in the water. She played by herself for about an hour with her sand toys in the water.

We didn't think to bring floaties so when the people next to us started to leave, I suggested we buy their tubes from them and Kathryn went and did it. We probably paid twice what they cost, but the older girls loved them so it was worth it.

We went to Sunsplash. It was Clara and Hazel's first time there and it's been years since I've been. I think like 10 years. It was nice to have older kids, Rachel and my mom to help. I went back and forth from hanging out with Clara to hanging out with Hazel. 

On the 4th of July, Angela, Rachel, Ryan and I went to lunch at Windsor. I like that place. They have a perfectly balanced menu, in my opinion. 

After lunch, we met up with my parents and Kathryn to watch The Lone Ranger. I don't think I've ever gone to the movies with my dad. Where were all our kids? Well, at our house, with Jason. He watched our two, Ryan's four and Rachel's youngest two so I could spend time with my siblings. He's great. I'd heard the movie wasn't great, but I enjoyed it. Not sure what that says about me. After that, we went to my parent's for dinner, fireworks and all around quality family time.

5/6 on their cell phones. Good thing Casey Anne was there to pay attention to Margo. 

 

Lucas loves to play the iPad and Hazel loved to sit next to Lucas and watch him. He's very sweet with her.

We went to Bahama Bucks on more than one occasion. One time, Hazel wouldn't stop feeding Margo and it was really funny. Like a little mother bird.

We went to Joyride Tacos for lunch (delicious).

We swam a lot.

We played at Kathryn's. (Bottom left: Jason cleaned up without me asking after all the kids while we were visiting/playing.)

We had an extra big Sunday dinner at Ryan and Kathryn's, where my mom sat on the couch with lots of little girls like a mother hen, Hazel fed Margo ice cream, Kathryn handed out nerds like a mother bird and the world bid farewell to a great day with a beautiful sunset.

 

We ended the evening with a group picture, trying to be serious and trying to be silly. They're much better with silly. 

And then just like that, they were back in Utah and we were trying to get back to reality. 

June 2013

Here's what we were up to the rest of the month of June...

In the beginning of June, the first day of June to reach 100* to be exact, Hazel decided she wanted to wear a beanie when we went for an oil change. She kept it on the entire time, even when she was outside looking at the turtles.

A big highlight in June was going to Butterfly Wonderland in Scottsdale. It was expensive, but worth it, in my opinion. Had I had a few more people to pay for, I don't know if it would've been worth it. :) But we enjoyed it. On the way there, Hazel started freaking out that she had to go the bathroom. I told her to hold it and she was screaming and crying that she couldn't. She's never done this, but will sometimes say, "I have to go so really bad!" just to get out of doing something. She said it felt like she already went but when I asked her if she peed in her pants she said no. Angela gave her some food, so she stopped screaming and I pulled off on Indian Bend to take her to the McDonald's. I went to get her out and, too late, she'd peed. Grrr. Luckily, we were right by a Target. I ran in for a pair of shorts and undies and when I got back out, she said she needed to go again. I took her in and sure enough, she went a TON more. We had been at KS just before that, so I am assuming she just drank and drank and drank from the water dispenser while I did my work. Lesson learned.

Back to the butterflies... it was neat. If you look closely at these pictures, you can spot them flying all around. They loved me and kept landing on me. I guess I have sweet blood. I'm sure that's why I get billions of mosquito bites too.

They did not like Clara and would not land on her. She was so disappointed, but eventually, one of the workers got one on her shoulder and then another landed on her back. It made everything better. Obviously.

Also in June, I made lots of good food. I didn't realize until this summer how hard it is for me to cook in the summer. Coming up with quick and easy, healthy meals that don't heat me or the house up isn't easy. Here are some of my favorites... grilled veggie sandwiches (amazing), waffles and raspberries (I started using a white flour waffle recipe and I don't care if they aren't as good for me... they are delicious. Plus, we supplement with fruit.), black bean burgers and sweet potato fries (Jason liked these enough to have two - that's a big deal), um, more waffles, bean quinoa salad, chips and watermelon (easiest, yet delicious and nutritious, summer meal) and raspberries on ice cream with chocolate = random craving.

One day, Clara was off with Lucy and Elsa so Hazel and I went shopping and out to lunch. Her facial expressions are hilarious and once she knows I think they're funny, she'll keep trying to make new ones. I love one-on-one time with my kids.

photo booth Sunday//clara//girls lunching by the fireplace//big glasses//I can't get enough of Hazel's face//Hazel took a nap in Clara's bed and looked so big!//my fuchsia tights that got more of a reaction than I ever expected//Clara reading at night//more of that cute face//Clara so happy for finishing the Boxcar Children book by herself//new punishment since the oranges aren't falling right now: clean my baseboards//happy face in my Blendtec foam//not the best day, but at least I didn't cry that time//tired and sick snuggler//morning puffy eyes on that sweet face//friends over for a water fight (some of the younger kids didn't quite realize the balloons were meant to be thrown and popped and the water guns were to spray, so we had a few tears, whoops, but we had fun, I think)

bath hair//spilled green smoothie made Hazel upset//cutie//this is how we picnic in the summer in AZ//fort time//waiting to be picked up//I actually found a rug I loved, too bad it wasn't in grays//after party at Sunday dinner//have I mentioned I love her face?//loving legos//funny face 1//funny face 2//we love story time//pretty skies//Hazel thought she was being funny by folding her hands like this for the prayer//more tights (it's how I mourn)

Hazel & Margo//Clara and her stuffed animal school//first movie of the day = empty parking lot//Hazel peeling from the beach, still getting used to having a child with skin like mine that actually burns//the day Hazel asked if my ribs were my other boo boos//who needs beds when you have closet shelves?//one night I noticed a bulge in Clara's gum (when we were at Emily's) and realized her permanent tooth was on the move, here it is popped through behind her baby tooth//Hazel loves swimming//jump!//carried away with the soap//jumping//Clara has taken a liking to hoola hooping and is actually pretty good at it//Hazel started dressing up//rock candy suckers//cutest pigtails that never last more than 10 minutes//more swimming (we did that a lot this summer)

whoops, got the pigtail picture twice//lots of little girls in swimsuits at Grandma's//watched Monster's Inc. (this was Hazel's second movie, the first was Mirror, Mirror; she was less entertained by this one, but it might be because she kept wanting to sit with me, my mom, then Lilly, repeat)//Hazel loves to dance//Clara loves to create//cookies for breakfast, why not?//I put the kids to bed a lot by myself. In the summer, they slept together on each other's floor a lot, so I'd lay between them and we'd read books, talk, laugh, sing and then go to sleep way too late//a tradition I missed this year, orange eye pictures, except for Clara

Kung-pow girls

One day the girls were playing and Hazel found this spider. My good mother taught me to be nice to spiders so after spending A LOT of time to muster up the courage, I captured this big old thing and released it outside. Go me.